Where Did We All Go?

It looks like we all let our December get away from us! If your month has been anything like mine, I can see why! I got carried away with baking and shopping and wrapping and planning and volunteering and celebrating my daughter's return from Spain. Ok...with the exception of the last one, that pretty much sums up everyone's month:-)

With the holiday finally upon us, I plan on enjoying every moment with my family. However, I am looking forward to the new year. At that time, I will be starting a new series called, "How the Fat Girl Ate Susie". It is my attempt to get a handle on what is eating me so I can stop eating. I am hoping that it is an interesting and useful self-examination.

So until then, I hope you all have a very, very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year:-)

Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman

The holidays are a time to take stock of our lives and be thankful for all of our many blessings. This year, the season has also been a reminder to me of the inherent strengths that we women possess when we are able to harness the simple power of a positive attitude.

Every family faces its own battles, its own crises. Sometimes, those struggles are enough to really knock us down for the count, to bring about a negative attitude or even depression. I know I've certainly been there. Whether it's financial worries, marital issues, parenting concerns, health problems or a plethora of other difficulties knocking on our front door, our daily life struggles can be downright overwhelming.

Both sides of our family struggle with virtually all of those same issues as well. Divorce, drug addiction, Alzheimer's, financial crises, depression. Yeah, we seem to have it all covered. Yet, this past week I reveled in the fact that I smiled and laughed more than I had in quite a long time. And, for the most part, it was thanks to the women in my husband's family.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at my in-laws' home. (My family is out of state. We'll whoop it up with them for Christmas.) The entire clan was there. My husband has two older sisters, one of whom lives near us and the other flew into town with her two kids.

It's funny how the heart of a home is often times its kitchen. Perhaps this is an old fashioned attitude, but it's one that I still believe to be true, at least for my family. Whenever my husband's family is all together, we gather at my in-laws for a wonderful meal that we all contribute to. While it's being prepared, we women gather in the kitchen and tell our stories. Our stories of success, of failure, of laughter, of tears. Stories that have been told time and time again or perhaps for the first time. I guess it's a kind of oral tradition. Our 20-year old niece has been joining us in the kitchen for many years now, and our 13-year old niece chose to spend much of her time with us for the first time this year instead of playing with her little sister and my son. A woman's life lessons are passed from generation to generation, with my 78-year old mother-in-law at the helm. And as we cook, we laugh and chatter, our smiles encouraging more smiles and more laughter, lifting each other up and lighting up the room with hope and promise for the future.

Domestic Super Bowl

Over the Thanksgiving season, we had lot's of time to watch educational TV. One in particular struck a cord with me. It discussed the history of the holiday. When we got to the Rockerfeller age, they pontificated that being a housewife and mother was a thankless job. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when women could parade all their skills to the delight of the entire family.

Really? So that makes Thanksgiving, my superbowl. And if it that is true, I stuck the landing:-) (I guess that is an inappropriate sports reference but it sounded good right?)

HUGE History

HUGE history was made this week.

Oprah annonced that she is calling it quits after her 25th season. I have been a HUGE fan for ALL of those years. I knew this day would come but, I don't know that I am ready:-) I mean, I was a Junior in high school when she started. My oldest daughter will be a Junior in college when she's done. That's a lifetime!

Jimmy Johnson won his 4th consecutive championship in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. This is something that has NEVER been done before. We are HUGE NASCAR fans and so this is a HUGE deal in our house. Seeing someone do the impossible makes me want to do better in my own life.

Generally Annoyed by Ignorance

I recently attended a state funding panel discussion at my local school district. Since I have absolutely no political background, I thought it would educate me in how my child's school is paid for. Oh, I was educated alright!

I learned that our state spreads out our tax dollars in a three-tiered system: Primary, Secondary and Tertiary. Since our district is considered "property wealthy" we only qualify for primary funding from the state. So, we pay taxes for all three but only take out taxes for one of the tiers. Conversely, Milwaukee recieves funding for all three tiers. Ok...it is the classic "fortunate taking care of the less fortunate." I get that.

The second thing I learned is how completely naive and downright ignorant some of the people in this area are. One woman raised her hand and asked the senator, "That doesn't seem fair?" The state constitutional promises equitable education. Equitable doesn't mean fair. Naive. She then went on to prove her ignorance by saying, "We work hard all our lives. We have made all the right decisions and followed the right paths to buy houses in good school districts. We should be rewarded, not punished for that."

Ok...so, the people in Milwaukee public school districts don't work hard? They haven't made the right decisions in their lives? They haven't followed what you consider the "right path"?

Now, I don't claim to have all answers on how to run the world however, I do know enough to not assume anything about anybody. Does anyone else find this statement to be highly offensive?

Holiday Stress

The crush of the holidays is upon us and for some reason, I find myself more stressed about it than usual. I think it is because I am in unchartered territory of being a new elementary school mom. That has really distracted me away from my normal holiday trance.

I am working hard to establish myself as a useful entity in the school. I volunteer often in the classroom (twice in the classroom plus a field trip and that is just this week). I am co-leading my daughter's Daisy troop and I have showed up at nearly every PTO meeting that was held this year. I am also co-chairing the bake sale. I said to my husband, "Can I get a show of hands of those who really thought I wasn't going to chair this my first year?" He said that he was sitting on his hands:-)

It is possible that I am biting off more than I can chew however, I am having a blast. I didn't get to do any of this with my older daughter. I almost feel like the more I help at school, the more I am healing that wound. So, it isn't stressful at all.

What is freaking me out is that it is November 9th and I don't have my Thanksgiving menu set yet!! By this time last year, I had 6 pies and 48 rolls nestled in my freezer waiting for the big event. This week is a wash so...think of me in a frenzy next week as I struggle to pull this holiday out of the ashes of my own procrastination.

I neglected my family

...for 10 days while reading the Twilight series. Wow, was I ever sucked into that story. When a friend of mine suggested I read it and handed over all four of her books, I was somewhat doubtful about a sojourn into YA literature. As a 39 year old woman, I figured I wouldn't enjoy teen lit enough to invest the time required of the series, seeing as book four alone is 700-some pages. The only reason I really even agreed to do so was that I was a big Anne Rice fan when I was in my teens and 20s, and, to this day, Bram Stoker's Dracula is still on the list of my absolute favorite works of literature. So, I guess you could say I'm kind of into vampires.

As I began reading Twilight, the story immediately appealed to me. I loved the first person narration by Bella. Despite the simplicity of the writing, I was drawn into her emotional world and could easily relate to her vulnerabilities and feelings toward Edward - many of them seemed similar to my own when I was a teenager and involved with boyfriends in high school. Throughout much of the series, I also thought Bella's strengths were an important appeal to female teen readers. Being a feminist at heart, I cheered on author Stephenie Meyer as I read. Ok, sure, Bella is awkward and has some self esteem issues, but she's definitely her own person, walks to the beat of her own drummer in many regards, is certainly portrayed as an intelligent young woman who takes her academics seriously, and makes important decisions for herself without folding under the pressure of others' opinions. Plus, she has the two bad boys of the series, the vampire and the werewolf, wrapped around her finger in no time.

At the same time, as I progressed through book three and book four, I started to get a little pissed off at Meyer. She had done such a great job in the first two books with portraying a nice, healthy dose of morality and feminism for her teen readers. Edward and Bella hold off from having sex until they are married. But wait a minute - what's the deal with Bella getting married while still in her teens??? And then having a baby to boot??? Not exactly what I was expecting from Meyer at that point, and I was pretty disappointed about it too. We never see Bella go to college as Edward so fervently wishes for her to do. Instead, before she's even 20, she's married, has a kid, and becomes a vampire, basically foregoing all of the choices for her future and settling down into the cottage behind her in-laws' house. Hmmm. Not exactly my idea of the the kind of life I'd imagine a young, bright woman of the 21st century would lead. And if I had a daughter who went down that same path (minus the vampire part, of course), I'd be FURIOUS, not giddy with joy like Bella's mother. My own parents would have disowned me had I made the same choices.

So, Meyer, shame on you! What's up with the turnaround?

Seeing Your Fat Ass on TV

...is great motivation for getting back into your workout routine after the flu:-(

For those of you that don't know, I compete in Iron Cupcake challenges here in Milwaukee. This summer, a local food show called Wisconsin Foodie filmed me and two other bakers preparing for our sugary battle. Today, it aired and my large ass (in all it's glory) was the only thing I saw. Nice triple chin too:-(

And so, it is back to getting up at 5 a.m. in front of the DVD player to walk my pounds away. Luckily, I didn't gain back any of my 10 pound loss from September however, I didn't lose more in October either. So, come on November!!! Make me fabulous for 40!!

Breaking in the new car...

...literally.

I have to admit, this story has very little to do with any sort of issue of import relating to women. However, this woman needs someone to talk to, and, blogosphere, you're it.

Recently, we bought a new car. My husband and I were so excited to get rid of our 2000 Jetta which turned out to be a piece of junk. It was a beautiful car when we bought it (and since both of us are German teachers, we thought we were so cool at the time - you know the whole Fahrvergnügen/witty VW commercial thing), but, after a few years, the interior began to fall apart and it was like an avalanche from then on; more and more repairs needed to be done and the car was getting to be a total financial burden.

Since my husband and I try to be environmentally responsible, we bought a Toyota Prius, one of those cool hybrid cars. It's a nifty vehicle - sleek, black, and modern. We are also pleased that Consumer Reports gave it top ratings on reliability. We're counting on that, so that we don't blow as much money on it as we did fixing all of the problems on our junk-o-rama-Jetta.

We are encountering some issues with the Prius, though. First, my husband just very well might cause the demise of our entire family in that car. The Prius has a neat computer screen on the dashboard from which you can control many aspects of the car's performance. It also displays the gas mileage you're getting and updates it continually, so you can see it rise and fall as you drive. The more responsibly you drive (no lead foot driving - easy on the accelerating and braking), the higher your gas mileage goes. Of course, being a guy, particularly a guy who loves competition and the rewards that go along with good performance, my husband can't keep his eyes off of that computer and the gas mileage updates. If he is the passenger, there is a lot of back seat driving that the driver has to put up with: "Your gas mileage is tanking!! Ease off of the accelerator!" If he is the driver, he barely has his eyes on the road - they're fixed on that d*** computer. And if I'm not in the car, I'm typically scared to death for my son who is with him, because then not only are his eyes not on the road, but at least one hand is not on the steering wheel, as he's calling me up on his cell phone to blast into my ear: "54 MILES PER GALLON, BRENDA!!! Can you BELIEVE that?? No, no WAIT! 55 MILES PER GALLON!!!!"

And if my husband doesn't cause us to get into an accident that's going to wreck our precious new car, other Houstonian drivers will. Sometimes, I absolutely despise driving in Houston. The experience is often chaotic and terrifying. Streets are strewn with litter in many places and things fly off of the backs of trucks all of the time. My husband and I have seen buckets, huge plastic garbage bags filled with clothes, sofa cushions, and even a ladder fly off of trucks going down the HIGHWAY. Yes, the HIGHWAY. How scary do you think that is going 65 miles per hour?? Pretty darn scary!!

So, the other day, two things happened to me in our Prius in the course of just one day. Driving home from my son's school, I see a brown lunch bag fly up from under the car in front of me. It was too late to avoid it, so I drive over it thinking it was just filled with air. Nope. All of a sudden I hear, "CLANK, CLUNK, BANG!" under my car. I come home to find a huge set of keys with about 15 keys on it nestled in the metal rim of the car that creates a semicircle above and around the top of the tire. Apparently, that was in the lunch bag. I inspect the tire, and it appears fine.

Later that day, I'm driving onto the entrance ramp of the highway, and a large dump truck is in front of me. You know what's coming. A huge chunk of something flies out of the dump truck. I'm too busy watching it hurl toward me thinking, "Please don't hit our new car. Please don't hit our new car. Please don't hit our new car," to think to look at the truck's license plate and note the company name on the truck which my husband asks me about later. Of course, the huge chunk of something hits our hood and when I arrive at my destination, I find a nice, big ding in the paint job.

Plus, I have a flat tire from the keys.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I don't know about anybody else but I am so over the cold and flu season already!! I have had it. My youngest has had it. My mom has had it. Heck my oldest has had it all the way in Spain!! What the heck, people? It's worse than having Christmas decorations up before Halloween!!

And, we are the not the only ones feeling it. Last week, 12% of the student body reported being out with flu symptoms. We weren't the worst either. There were schools in our area that had 60% out and the health department had to close them. What the heck, people??

What is going on? When we were kids, I don't ever remember missing school because someone else was sick?? Has it really come to this? Are we really this weak? I don't know about you guys but this scares the crap out of me!

Alzheimer's hits home

My mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We all saw it coming, but the reality of the disease is now starting to rear it's ugly head. My mother-in-law deals with a good deal of forgetfulness and confusion which has been quite embarrassing and frustrating for her. Additionally, her days of driving seem to be over since she has started confusing the accelerator and the brake. This means her children (and their spouses) now need to chip in a bit more to help her and my father-in-law out.

For me, it means paying her a visit once or twice a week while my father-in-law is out at the flying field. He flies model airplanes that he has built himself. We all know he enjoys his time there and none of us want to deprive him of something he is so fond of doing.

I'm sure that we are all in for some difficult times ahead. It's time for me to seek out some literature and perhaps other resources about Alzheimer's to become a little better informed about the disease and the task of caregiving for the individual stricken with it. So far, I've been given one book recommendation: The 36-Hour Day.

Any other recommendations or words of wisdom from readers out there?

I Usually Don't Do This But...

I usually don't get involved in the debate between stay-at-home-moms and working moms but...sometimes, it isn't fair.

As a stay-at-home-mom, I volunteer at the school all the time. I have supervised Safety Town, math centers and literacy centers and, I have stuffed Friday folders. I have attended the PTO meetings and I am even leading my daughter's Daisy troop.

The working moms can't do as much as I do and I don't expect them to. However, when it came around to sign up for the pumpkin farm, all the working moms took off work, signed up and got the gig. They can only take a certain amount of parents along on field trips and I got bumped because this is the only opportunity they have to volunteer.

Now, how fair is that? I have worked hard at the school over the last two months and when the holy grail of volunteering comes around, I have to step aside? I am doing all the work and they get all the fun. I feel like the custodial parent who is all liver and onions and veggies and the working moms are french fries and ice cream. I understand that they are just trying to make it equitable but this is one instance, when it just isn't.

Busy, busy, busy

Why is it that the busier my family gets, the less time I have? My daughter starts kindergarten and I am at school just as much as she is. My mom starts water aerobics and I am running her around everyday of the week now. I am phoning my blog posts in, my garden is a weed fest and my husband can't remember what I look like naked. Mama needs some time!!!

Let me see...I can pencil you in Thursday morning between 9 and 9:15:-)

Uninspired

Well, Ladies...it has happened. I am at a loss for words today. I've got nothing except this flu. Does that ever happen to you? Where you just feel like phoning it in?

'Tis the season...

...to be scared out of one's mind. With October 1st right around the corner, Halloween is quickly approaching. And I'm not quite sure how my little guy is going to make it for the next month with all of the goblins and ghouls that will be popping up in various forms around town.

Right around this time last month, we made a family trip to Lowe's one day. Lowe's already had some Halloween decorations for sale, including a life size grim reaper of sorts near the entrance. Of course, it scared the living s*** out of my 4-year old son. Ever since then, he's been coming into our bedroom at night and staying in our bed until morning. Now, I know The Nanny would shake her thumb at us about this in disapproval and encourage us to remedy the situation immediately, getting that boy back into his own bed...for the entire night, every night. In truth, I empathize with my son and let him snuggle up with us just because I know what he's going through. I was always a scaredy-cat myself when I was young. Nighttime was not the happiest for me. I remember being really scared often. Plus, for some asinine reason, my dad thought it was ok for me to watch The Exorcist on TV when I was about ten years old. That movie pushed me over the edge. I swear, I should've gone to therapy because of that damn film. I was totally traumatized by it and didn't get over it well into my late teens. So, I know what it's like to be scared at night, and I really don't want my son to grow up with the many nighttime anxieties that I grew up with.

So far, we are doing what we can to help him avoid scary situations. We're keeping him away from stores that might have gruesome Halloween decorations. He likes books about Halloween, but we are getting books from the library about the holiday which won't frighten him.

Any other advice for this parent about how to ease my son's mind of these type of fears? I could sure use some.

40 and Fabulous

I wrote about my Second Attempt at weight loss earlier this month. I am here to tell you that I am very encouraged by some success. I feel fantastic and I have dropped 10 pounds. Now, 10 pounds is a drop in the bucket to what I need to lose however, it is a really good start. And I have found some motivation recently that I want to share.

I am turning 40 on May 28 next year. So, my goal is to be 40 and Fabulous. Now, I am already fabulous in many ways however, I want to be even more fabulous by dropping more of this weight by my big day. I am not putting a number on it. I know it when I feel it.

Also, I had another cupcake challenge this weekend. I know that this seems really counter-productive to my overall goal however, the challenge took place a Goldie's Shoe Parlor. If you are in the Milwaukee area, go directly to Goldie's...do not pass "Go"....bring $200. They have the cutest stuff on the planet!! It is one of those rare boutiques that have clothes for real sizes. So, my goal is to buy something fabulous for the my 40 and Fabulous birthday!!

Wish me luck! So far....so good:-)

The Difference Between Men and Woman

Over the last week or two, I have experienced two examples of the difference between men and women:

1. My husband has lived in this house since 1996. I joined him in 2001. Since my move in, I have met ALL the neighbors. I have had playdates with some, got strawberries and apples from others and even got a poker night in or two. My husband, just talked to the neighbor to our north...this week! Yep...that's 13 years living adjacent to someone with a polite wave while mowing the lawn but no verbal exchange.

2. Moms can walk into an elementary school, no questions asked. They belong there. They are supposed to be there. Dads walk in an they get the third degree. "Who are you again?" "What are you here for?" "Who is your child, again?" Not fair for Daddy:-(

Kindergarteners have it rough

My son started 4-yr. old preschool in August. I'm in shock that he is growing up so quickly. During the three days a week that he is in school, I often wonder where the time has gone. Down the street from us, there are a few kids who are 5 and started Kindergarten this year. My own memories of Kindergarten (albeit very few) include coming home for lunch and then taking a nap if I was really tired out. In this day and age, Kindergarteners have it rough. Our neighborhood kids get on the bus before 8 AM and don't walk in the door at home again until after 4 PM. Is it me, or is this totally crazy?? I can't imagine putting little 5 year olds through such a long day, but that's what we do now. Since when did Kindergarten become an all day affair? I mean, it has essentially become 1st grade, if you think about it. It sure does seem like a lot for our little people to have to handle, and I'm not too thrilled with the prospect of that kind of life for my son next year. Unfortunately, our income won't allow for attendance at a private school, so we're stuck with what is offered here in our public schools. And, no, I'm not even considering homeschooling. My sanity must be preserved. 'Nuff said.

I haven't researched the matter, but I'm assuming all day Kindergarten came about as a result of two things: 1) mothers started working full time out of the home and needed childcare, and 2) our academics across the nation went down the toilet in comparison with the rest of the western world, so we decided our youth needed to learn more at an earlier age.

In spite of those two reasons, you can mark this mama down as not a fan of all day Kindergarten. I just don't think it's necessary for our 5 year olds. Why can't we let them enjoy their childhood a little longer like we were allowed to when we were young?

What's your opinion on this one?

100 Things We Admire

This is our 100Th post and to commemorate the occasion, we are listing 100 things that we admire in other women and in ourselves. So, in no particular order:

1. Strength.

2. Intelligence.

3. Beauty.

4. Perseverance.

5. Resilience.

6. Compassion.

7. Nurturing.

8. Organization.

9. Baking.

10. Cooking.

11. Hugs.

12. Kisses

13. Encouragement.

14. Spiritual.

15. Determined.

16. Focused.

17. Not Afraid to Make Hard Decisions.

18. Knowing How to Live with the Consequences of those Decisions.

19. Loving.

20. Generosity.

21. Green.

22. In Touch with Her Emotions.

23. Lives Life to the Fullest.

24. Entrepreneur

25. Passionate.

Brenda's list:
26. my mom's unconditional love for me and my brother...and now for her grandchild.
27. my mom's selflessness and attendance to our needs when we were growing up...and still now.
28. my mom's influence in developing my love of travel, music, art, and so many other things!
29. my mom's strength in being a breast cancer and open-heart surgery survivor.
30. my mom's yummy cooking.
31. my grandmother's unending generosity.
32. my grandmother's faith.
33. my grandmother's style and flair.
34. my grandmother's endearing vanity of wearing lipstick everywhere...which has now become my own as well.
35. my aunt's ability to look absolutely terrific...even at 80.
36. my aunt's impeccable taste in decorating and fashion.
37. my mother-in-law's knack for organization
38. my MIL's work ethic at her artistic crafts
39. my MIL's ability to make a lovely home and garden look so easy
40. my sisters'-in-law kindness, good-naturedness, and ease at great conversation
41. my mom's and my passion for teaching.
42. my girlfriends for so many things...such as their kindness...
43. ...and ability to forgive even when it's hard...
44. ...and the way we can make each other laugh...
45. ...and the immediate offer of a shoulder (or an ear) if I need a good cry...
46. ...and the way we can work together to create something special...
47. ...and the way they can get us organized when my skills are lacking the ability to do so...
48. ...and the way they've been strong and turned lemons into lemonade.
49. my love and dedication to my son.
50. my dedication to nursing my son...for 42 months! (no, I'm not crazy, really)

51. We can grow people. How cool is that?

52. We hold our families together

53. Katy Perry was right, "Hard to resist, so touchable"

54. Even when the going gets tough, we still get up in the morning and keep on going

55. Being a mom makes you feel powerful. Don't get between me and my kid, man...I'll take you out...I don't care if you're a linebacker!

56. Behind every great man is a great woman. I'm almost 40 and am now just starting to grasp how real this is. Men would be lost without us, don't you think?

57. When my mom tried to buy a house in the 70's, they wouldn't give her a mortgage because they didn't think she'd be working very long before she stayed home to have babies. I bought my own house at 28. All by myself.

58. That was two years after I went to Europe with 2 of my best girlfriends. They helped me fulfil one of my grandmother's life-long wishes. Neat, huh?

59. I think it's awesome that many Native Americans thought women were so powerful when they had their periods, they separated them from the rest of the tribe. I wish we still thought of it that way.

60. Suffragettes, like Susan B. Anthony. For that matter, there's a lot of other noteworth women I admire for what they've done, and how they've lived their lives.

61. Sally Ride

62. Katherine the Great

63. Katherine Hepburn

64. Jackie Kennedy

65. Eleanor Roosevelt

66. Sojourner Truth

67. Barbara Bush

68. Maya Angelou

69. Julia Child

70. Emily Dickinson

71. Betty Friedan

72. Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73. Rosa Parks and all the women who pioneered "firsts" for the rest of us

74. The wonderful women I write this blog with

75. My daughter, who showed me the kind of woman I want to be

From Kari: Let me preface this by saying I am lucky enough to have women in my life who have a number of the following traits in common; I am pointing out the traits I admire that are more predominant.

76. My mom's sensibility and ability to manage numerous projects at one time

77. My mom's ability to make me calmer just by being there

78. My aunt Teri's strength even though she doesn't know it's there sometimes

79. My cousin Jen's resilience

80. My sister Charity's generosity

81. My friend Kristin's sense of humor

82. My friend Janet's sense of self

83. My friend Brenda's dedication

84. My friend Sue's tenacity

85. My friend Diane's moxie

86. My friend Therese's devotion

87. My grandmother Marion's sense of style

88. My grandmother Evelyn's courage

89. My aunt Barb's patience

90. My friend Amy's enthusiasm

91. My friend Lisa's perceptiveness

92. My friend Nancy's jovial attitude

93. My mother in law Mary's good naturedness and devotion

94. The many who are gifted and willingly share their gifts with others

95. The many who can make me smile or laugh

96. The many who are insightful

97. The many who inspire me to try harder

98. The many who know what it is to be a friend unconditionally

99. The many who know how to listen

100. The many who know how to love in unique ways

Attempt Number Two

Since my first weight loss attempt was an utter and complete failure, I am going to give it another college try (mind you, I quit college too so, take that at face value:-). I hereby pledge to take care of myself first so I can take care of others second.

Anyway, my plan is to get up at o'dark-hundred to workout. I am going to continue my walking tapes until I can get a Wii Fit and the money for the Wii Fit in the same room at the same time. In addition, I am tracking my nutrition stats through my recipe/grocery software. The Living Cookbook rocks in this regard. I just type in my menu plan and viola...success:-)

Now, why am I boring you with all this? I am not sure except that I needed to purge my soul and my other blog would have spit it out:-)

So, wish me luck on this second quest to find health and to take care of me:-) Let's hope this time it sticks!

A (Political) Rant

It turns out that Kermit the Frog was wrong. In fact, it is quite easy being green. Don't worry - I haven't been stricken with some horrid flu virus that has turned my skin a sickly hue. I'm actually referring to living green, doing one's part for the good of the environment.

Now that my part time teaching jobs have started again at the beginning of a new school year, my focus is very much about learning and teaching. One of the places that I learn the most is when I'm in Germany. People who read this blog may be sick and tired about reading my posts about said country. I do apologizefor the redundancy, but I have one more entry about the Fatherland that I just have to write. Now I warn you, this post may get a tad political and hence ruffle a few feathers. So, if you're not the type who appreciates a different political perspective other than your own, you may want to skip this one.

I was in Germany for 2 weeks this summer. I've been there many times before but hadn't been back for 4 years. Every time I return to the country, I'm struck by how clean and orderly it is and how beautiful the vast majority of towns and cities there are.

My first steps onto foreign soil there already tell me I'm somewhere far from home. I see a garbage can that doesn't just have one hole, but three. Three holes that ask you to separate your garbage when you discard it. Above the holes are signs that say, "plastic," "paper," and "remaining garbage." These garbage cans are standard fare for Germany; they are all over the country, everywhere you go.

According to a recent article I read about Germany, this garbage can thing shouldn't be a surprise, because Germany has been named The World's Greenest Country. That's right, it is more environmentally friendly than any other country on earth. Being a person who tries to live green as much as I can, I appreciate this. In fact, over the decades that I've been to Germany, I always suspected this to be true but never had any proof to support my theory. I've been struck by a number of ways that Germans live their daily lives which include the following:

1. Germany is a very clean place, both inside and out. You just don't see a lot of inside grime or clutter, and outside, one immediately notices that there isn't much litter...anywhere.

2. Germans don't use as much gas as we do and can get away with it for a number of reasons. Their inner cities (which have a positive connotation in that culture's language due to all of the culturalperks inner cities there have to offer, not the negative one we have in English of poverty and violence) are pedestrian zones. People walk and ride their bikes to go shopping and often to work. Public transportation is excellent. Many cities have streetcars, buses, and a subway. And don't even get me started on how awesome their train transportation is. Germany also has fairly strict laws about the kind of condition your car is in. You can't go around driving some clunker that's spewing smoke and gassing out everyone behind you. This means better and newer cars which get better gas mileage. Plus, because their country is only about 1/2 of the size of Texas, yet is home to 80+ million people, they're not afraid to look like wimps and drive small cars, like the Smart Car, for example, to get into that rarely available and teeny tiny parking spot.

3. And while Germans are shopping, you see them with their canvas bags or woven baskets. If you want a plastic bag for your groceries, you have to pay for it (and paper bags aren't even offered). A few months ago, I bought myself 5 canvas bags from my grocery store to use instead of plastic bags - a recent trend here in the USA. Germans have been doing this for decades.

I'm going on a rant about all of this, because I sometimes find my adopted state of Texas...well...filthy. This is especially true when I come back from a trip to Europe. And it bothers me. The smog, the litter (when I first came to Houston, I used to call it, "Houston...The City With All The Crap On The Side Of The Road" - not the most endearing nickname). My little subdivision here in Texas doesn't even recycle. That's right, we have no recycling pick up service. And I find that very annoying. My solution to this problem is to bring my paper recycling to the recycling bins behind an elementary school that is 3 minutes from my house. I bring plastic and glass to public bins that are on my way to work. I know that most of my neighbors are not recycling, though. I see their cardboard boxes out on garbage pickup days, and I can just see the landfills piling higher and higher.

Sometimes, I think we Americans could learn a thing or two from our European counterparts.

And here's the political part - so don't say I didn't warn you.

I just don't get why our society is freaking out about Obama's supposed efforts to make this country more "European" and the accusations that he's turning us into socialists. First of all, life is pretty darn good in all of the socialist countries in Europe that I'm familiar with, and I've traveled extensively there. And they're all democracies, too. We're not talking communism here. They have the same rights that we do. And when it comes to their system of socialized medicine, there are no death panels (where ARE there death panels, anyway?? I mean, come on!!), and you don't have to wait for 6 months for surgeries either, like many people claim. My aunt who is German and has lived in Germany all of her life, found out she needed stomach surgery in June. She had the surgery 2 weeks later (and it was only 2 weeks later, because we were visiting her for those two weeks!).

For this Euro-wanna-be, I personally think this country could use some European influence. From what I've seen first hand, it would definitely make life here a a little bit more pleasant.

Depression Survival Tips

Older daughter off to Spain? Check.
Younger daughter getting ready for kindergarden? Check.

With my house almost empty, I have got to make sure I have my time completely filled or I am going to go nuts. As a depression survivor, that is one thing I have to do. So, here is my list:

Closets to organize.
Carpets to clean.
Gardens to weed.
Jam and apple pies to make.

See? I have lot's to do.

Happy Birthday Baby

Today is my first baby's birthday. She is turning 19 today. That's how old I was when I became pregnant with her. Looking back at the young woman I was and the young lady she is, my heart just bursts with pride. This girl has got it together and she is on top of the world:-)

At 19, I had:

...dropped out of college to be with my boyfriend.

...gotten myself pregnant with said boyfriend.

...a job at Burger King.

...barely been out of the state.

At 19, she is:

...on her second year of college with the credits of a Junior.

...staying away from boys (at this point).

...working towards a future in which fast food is not her only option for employment.

...getting ready to fly to Spain for a semester.

We all want better for our children than what we were able to have ourselves. In my case, I have not only reached that goal but surpassed it by leaps and bounds. The world is her oyster and she is savoring every moment. I am so proud of her and I know that the path she is on will lead her whereever she wants to go.

Happy Birthday Baby! I love you very much:-)

Rules of Engagement

I love it when my friends are on maternity leave because I get to see them more often:-) This visit was just as nice as last week and we covered a wide range of topics. One of these topics was about play dates and how different we are from our mothers. Times sure have changed.

Our mother's rarely had to organize play dates for us when we were kids. She would send us out the door in the morning and tell us not to come back until supper. And all the while she would tell us to "go find something to do" or "go find someone to play with". If we did that nowadays, we would be hauled into Social Services on child neglect charges.

Also, there is a whole subculture and etiquette to playdates. First, you have to find time on both your busy calendars for the event. Then, it's all in how you ask for the date that tell you the rules of engagement. For example, if a mother said to me, "Would your daughter like to come over and play?", then I know that it is a drop and go. I drop off my daughter, leave the premises and return when at a mutually acceptable time to retrieve my child. The means that the inviter is accepting responsibilty and entertainment for your child but they don't necessarily want to strike up a friendship between the adults.

Conversely, if a mother said to me, "Do you guys want to come over and play?", then I it is a whole different playgame. This parent does not want to full responsiblity of watching your child however, may be interested in striking up a friendship among the adults involved.

So, things are a lot more complicated for us than for our mothers however, as long as we know the rules, we should be ok:-)

In Through the Front Door

Well, my mom is home from her latest medical ordeal. I knew that her catherization was going too smoothly and my fears were well founded because she did develop complications. I find myself desensitized to even the most serious of situations: the ICU. Her life threatening events have become par for the course for me. In my systematic numbing, I have learned something very unsettling: not all patients are created equal.

It isn't a prejudice that we are used to. It isn't race or religious affiliation that causes the deviation in handling. No. In my vast experience in the haloed halls of these establishments, the difference is how you get there.

If you are admitted to the hospital through the ER, the goal is treat and street. This is espeically true if your physican does not hold privilleges at the hospital of your choice. If that happens, you are an unarmed solider in your battle to return back to your baseline. Your attempt to try to enter the "back door of the hospital", will result in them throwing a bandaid on a gapping head wound and sending you home before you can even sit up. And, it is not only the fault of the doctors. The insurance company views you the same way. If you don't have the good sense to prevent yourself from ending up in the ER, the mighty insurance company will not grant you the wish of mending you back to health.

On the other hand, if you are lucky enough to find a doctor who will admit you to the hospital, then you get the red carpet treatment. Upon your arrival, your gold plated invitation to the dance is confirmed and your wheelchair chariot will gently carry you off to your party destination. The lyrics to your tune is "just a precaution" this and "just to be safe" that. The insurance company will fall over itself to get you to accomodations that your situation requires. And when you are fully recovered, nurse and doctors salute your departure like cruise ship employees. You can breathe freely knowing that you came in the "front door".

So the moral of the story is, if you are going to have a catastrophic event, make sure that your doctor is there to greet you at the right door!

Woe is me...

Allergies have taken this family for a loop. Last year, in February of 2008, we had our son tested for allergies, only to discover he has a plethora of plant, dust, and food allergies. Dealing with that alone has been a challenge. For the last six months, I've had a terrible flare up of adult acne on my neck, an area I've never had trouble with before, even though I've suffered from acne since my teen years and into my 20s and now 30s. After reading on the internet that acne can result from food allergies, I decided to get myself tested for allergies as well. My test results came back with just as many allergies as my son. I was ASTOUNDED to discover the sheer amount of foods to which I have an allergy. The list has put a major cramp in my style when it comes to cooking, because, as you'll see for yourself, there just aren't too many basic supermarket foods left that are OK for me to eat. So, in response to my need to do some major venting about my situation, I thought I'd share...

The Complete List of Foods That F*** Me Up:
(Please excuse the implied use of a highly tasteless expletive. I know it's terribly ill mannered, and I am duly sorry, but it is merely an expression of my extreme FRUSTRATION!)

I am highly allergic to...
1) peanuts
2) tomatoes (Good thing I am mostly German, because I have to renounce my Italian side - sorry, Mom.)
3) soy beans (Farewell to many of my favorite Asian foods!)
4) chocolate (Kill me now! Just do it. I mean it. NOW.)
5) shrimp
6) crab
7) scallops
8) chicken (hmmm - about 40% of my cooking repertoire is knocked out with that one - how to rebound??)
9) pineapple
10) pecans
11) coconuts (This is the only one that doesn't bother me one bit - BLECH!)
12) squash
13) cabbage (Ummmm, OK, maybe I have to renounce my German side, too.)
14) cucumber
15) broccoli
16) green beans
17) ginger (Farewell to most remaining Asian foods and all home remedies to help my motion sickness in vehicles - sigh)
18) cauliflower
19) almonds

After this list, one might wonder: What's left?? Oh, but wait! Here is the list of foods I am borderline allergic to and can only eat once a week:
1) eggs
2) turkey
3) oranges
4) strawberries
5) peaches
6) blueberries
7) cinnamon (It's a good thing I lack inspiration in the kitchen, cuz' I don't bake much.)
8) coffee (Someone is out to get me, I SWEAR.)
9) carrots
10) peas
11) onion (Stop the madness! Call me a bad-breathed, tootin' weirdo, but I love onions!)
12) garlic (Life. is. over.)

I'm wondering how to keep track of all these. Actually, I think I've pretty much given up and decided it's impossible. I'll try to do what I can with the first list but this is really just too CRAZY! The other day, I spent two hours looking through cookbooks for new recipes to try, and I found a whopping THREE that I could eat! Out of the 30 recipes or so that I used to make on a regular basis (I had a month's worth of recipes that I rotated for my family), I'm down to about five that I can still cook. In the meantime, I'm becoming more and more malnourished by the second...

Precious Memories

My family and I are back from our travels overseas. It was a great adventure! We made some wonderful memories and took some pictures that will be cherished for generations, I'm sure. The minute I booked my parents' and my family's tickets back in February, I knew this trip would be a real tear-jerker, and I was so proud of myself that I held it together for the entire trip without balling at every turn.

You see, my father stated that this would be his last trip back to Germany (having a high degree of Wanderlust, he'd rather explore other parts of the world like Hawaii or Alaska). That alone choked me up. The reality of a final trip to Germany for my parents, who are 68 and 74, had never entered my head before. My memories of Germany over all of the years of my time spent there are all about being young, really. My first real memories of Germany were from our trip when I was 16 (I had been there as a little kid but don't remember much). Then, I studied in Bonn (the former captital of West Germany) at 19. I spent a lot of time with my relatives that year. My dad's sister, my aunt, was about 60 then, and she was definitely my surrogate mother during my time there; we became very close. I visited her often at her home in Detmold, the city of her and my dad's birth and where they grew up. She was a very energetic woman who was always smiling and laughing. During each and every visit, I had a lot of fun with her walking through downtown Detmold, shopping, eating in cafes, and hearing countless stories about her and my dad growing up. In fact, even though I spent a year away from my dad during my time studying there, I came home that next summer believing I had gotten to know him better than I ever had. My aunt's stories revealed a lot about my father that I had never known. And just spending time among Germans for a year opened my eyes to so many of my dad's mannerism, speech patterns, and quirky habits that before then I had thought were just a little odd; after that year, I discovered they were typically German and that his homeland had truly shaped the man who was my father.

This summer's return to Germany brought together two families who have all gotten older. My dad hadn't been back to Germany for 19 years. His sister, my Aunt Erika, is now 80. Her son, Martin, my only first cousin, is over 50 and has 3 boys. I'm married and am a mom to a preschooler. Although I've been there numerous times since then, this trip made me realize how long ago it was that I spent my year there exploring the country and soaking up every minute of youthful freedom, independence and excitement that studying abroad instills in a person. Time continues to march on.

During this trip, we spent a few days in Detmold where my dad lived with his family until he was 21. We accomplished the one thing I had wanted to do the minute I booked our tickets: we took a picture of 3 generations of relatives in front of my dad's childhood home. It's a huge half-timbered house that was probably built sometime in the late 1500s/early 1600s. Here we are (my son, me, my dad, and my aunt):

And here we are in the center of town (my cousin, my aunt, me, my dad, and my son):

Who knows if we will ever get pictures like these again. For my son, it may be the only time he is ever with his Opa in Germany. I will keep my fingers crossed that this won't be the case, that my parents will remain in good health for years to come and that we will all travel there together again someday. But for now, we will all cherish the precious memories that we made this summer and look to the future with anticipation, certain of many more to come.

On the Road Again...

This week, we are headed on the road again heading east. My husband's family is having a reunion and that is the ultimate destination. Along the way, we will have mad-cap family fun in the car, consume some Cincinati Chili AND we are taking our youngest to her very first amusement park: Coney Island:-)

So wish me luck on our latest adventure:-) I won't be back next week because of the trip but keep my family in your thoughts because we will be taking a second crack at my mother's catherization on Wednesday the 29th. I will let you know how everything goes in August:-)

I Am Exhausted

That is pretty much how it is going over here....exhausted. Last week's trials with my mother's healthcare has left me spent with little or nothing to give. I tried to blow off some steam this weekend but I fear, it has only delayed the problem.

In my house, we live in a culture of sickness. Her illness permiates the house. Joy is supressed before it even has a chance to flourish by the constant nagging afflictions that she brings us. I am wasting my youth in her decay. From that, my spirit is abating. How can I be in this vocation that I was born with? How did her problems become my fate? I struggle with this everyday. I will be straddled with this corrosion until the day she leaves this earth. By then, I will have been squandered.

Managing Stress

My mother had an abnormal stress test. This has resulted in an echocardiogram Tuesday to see if the valve she had replaced in 2000 is leaking. If it is, she needs surgery. Then on Wednesday, she is having a catherization to find if there are any blockages in her arteries. If there are, she will get a stent or angioplasty or surgery. So, as you can see, I am going to be under a lot of stress over the next couple days.

My job is to get her to her appointments, be there for any questions the doctor has for her, communicate to the family what is going on and make any hard decisions that need to be made. That's quite a bit for one person so, I am implementing all of my stress relieving arsenals that I learned in therapy. Deep breathing. Slow down. Focus. It's pretty scary but, I have been here before and I am sure that I will be back. All of my struggles before will not be in vain if I can maintain myself through this again.

So, if you could find the time to send me some positive energy on Tuesday and Wednesday, I would really appreciate it:-) I have tools but...everyone needs a little help now and then, right?

Have Child, Will Travel...We hope...

Traveling with children can be a challenge, but it's one that I am up for. My family plans to make two big trips this summer - a two plane ride trip to Germany and a car trip from Texas to Wisconsin.

Our four year old son was in Germany when he was a baby, but now that he's a cognisant preschooler, this intercontinental trip will be a whole new experience for him. We are actually supposed to be with our German relatives in The Land of Beer and Oompah Bands at this very moment, but children have a way of throwing one's plans to the wind. Three days before our departure date, our son came down with a fever that turned into a febrile seizure later that evening which sent us scurrying to the ER (this was his first febrile seizure and although harmless they are still scary). The poor child still had a 102 fever the day we were supposed to fly, and we just didn't want to take the risk of traveling on that long of a trip with a sick little boy. So, the people at Continental Airlines were very gracious and allowed us to postpone the trip at very little cost. (Kudos to you, Continental, for making this mommy a little less stressed out about the whole situation.)

We're hoping our next departure date will be uneventful and we'll be on the plane and on our way. (Keep your fingers crossed for us!) I've prepared as well as a mommy can. I bought my son a few new toys for the trip: a neat new coloring book of sorts, called Holes, in which the child colors in holes in each page of the book that turn into something else on the next page. It's pretty neat, you mommies of preschoolers/young kids out there should check it out. I also bought two easy reader books about Transformers, a 2-pack of small Transformer robots, and a small Matchbox car and mechanic shop. We decided not to take the plunge and buy a DVD player. I hate sitting my kid in front of a TV for hours on end, even in circumstances like one of long travel that might warrant it. I hope we made the right decision!

What do you do to keep your kids occupied on long trips?

Scrapbook Connection

I have a feeling that we are going to have some baby news this weekend so, I thought I would post early.

Obviously everyone has been touched by the trio of iconic deaths we experienced this week. Ed McMann, Farrah Faucett and Michael Jackson. The world took a HUGE cosmic hit. I always feel like we all lose something positive when legends pass on and they were all legends in their own right.

I was mostly touched by Michael Jackson's passing. Mostly because it was so sudden but also because he was a big part of my childhood. As a child of the 80's, you would have to live under a rock to not be a fan but I was much more than that. We listened to his music. We watched his videos. We witnessed on TV his global-shifting performance at the Apollo. We hung the posters, bought the T-shirts and envied those fortunate enough to see him in concert. His passion was clear in everything he did and it was contagious....especially to an impressionable starry-eyed dreamer like me. I took all my little visions of singing and dancing and put them into my admiration for him.

I collected every piece of information that I could about him and put them into a special scrapbook. Magazine covers, newspaper articles, posters, pictures...anything I could get my hands on went in that book. It was my attachment to him. I came across that scrapbook a couple years ago and I had a blast going through all the old memories. I enjoyed remembering the young wide-eyed girl I used to be. That was my connection to me.

Ironically, I had rid myself of that little piece of nostalgia last year. I was cleaning out a closet and I needed to let go of those memories to make room for new ones. I didn't regret my decision until today when I got the morning paper. Of course, the front page read of his passing. I paused a moment and remembered the feverishness in which I clipped those articles for that book. How fitting this would have been for a final entry. Fitting and sad. Fitting because he held the dreams of a younger me and sad because he could have been much more. If he were, perhaps, I would still have that scrapbook.

Happy Father's Day

Although this is a blog about and for women, many of us are mother. Without fathers, there can be no mothers. So today, I am taking a break from the normal girlie stuff we talk about around here to pay tribute to my man: Jeffie:-)

I couldn't do everything that I do without him. Not only is he a great husband and father, but he is the most generous person I know. He started off buying his house in 1996 as Bachelor Extraordinare. When I joined him here in 2001, he got two for the price of one because my older daughter and I were a group package. We added our youngest in 2004 and he was outnumbered 3 to 1. Then in 2007, when my mom got sick, he opened his heart and his home to yet another girl in the house. He is swimming in a sea of estrogen over here.

He does it all for us. He brings home the bacon and on ocassion, he fries it up in a pan. He fixes the things we break, mows the lawn, programs our computers, unplugged our sinks, takes out the garbage and kills our bugs. He is literally and figuratively the strength of our family and we are VERY lucky to have him.

Happy Fathers Day, Honey! Enjoy your presents, your BBQ, your computer games and your race! You deserve it all:-)

Spousal Satisfaction High

The fun days of summer have been in full swing at our household for several weeks now. My husband, a teacher, is home for the summer, too, and I've been keeping him busy. When we're not visiting family out of state during these hot months, there isn't much else to do in Hotter Than Hades Houston other than tackle house projects inside where the air conditioning keeps us all from hating this place too much. House projects are all good as far as I'm concerned. They keep my husband busy and productive, and we are both happy and highly satisfied with the outcomes. So far, my husband has tackled some pretty big tasks. He's fixed our sprinkler system, installed a ceiling fan, and completely redone our guest bedroom. This last job was quite the project. We painted it two-tone, installed chair railing, and moved all sorts of furniture around in order to hand the room over to our four year old son, who has outgrown his smaller bedroom and has been ready for a big-boy bedroom for a while now. We also bought him a huge bookshelf from IKEA, as he's accumulated quite a numer of books which were in piles all around his room before this point. Here's the finished project (well, almost - my hubby still has to fix some of the chair railing, but, generally speaking, this project is done):



Not bad, huh?

Nostalgia

ER had it's final season this year. Now, for most of you, this was the closing of a TV program but for me, it was the end of an era. To me, it signified the end of my 20's. My husband laughs at that statement. "Your 20's should be over....you are almost 40". Shut up:-)

For those of you who don't know, Diane (another author on this blog) and I were roommates for those formative years in our 20's. You know, the years between college and marriage where you are trying to find yourself, find a career, find your husband or just find the next party. It was the mid-90's and on Thursday nights, we got together for "Must See TV". It was a chunk of TV that we could really relate to because in many ways, we were "Friends" in real life. Anchoring our Thursday programs was ER. Now, many of the shows have come and gone (including "Friends" which was another one that was hard for me to swallow) but the last hanger onner was ER.

So, when it became clear that the last piece of my 20's was calling it quits, I decided to not let it go uncermoniously. I chose to not watch any of the season as it happened. It was going to end on my terms. For my birthday, my gift to me was the whole season that was waiting patiently for me on my DVR. I made it through half of the season.

The rest remains on my DVR waiting and waiting for me. Maybe, if I don't ever watch the whole thing, a piece of me will always be 20 years old. Do you think it will work?

What about you? Do you have something like this that clearly marked a sign of passage in your life? I would love to hear about it.

Allergies strike again...

There are a few things in my life recently that have made me take a hard look at my physical health and start to make some changes.

First and foremost, I'm about to leave for Germany for a family reunion of sorts on my dad's side of the family. My aunt, his sister, turns 80 soon, and we all decided to take the trip to celebrate with her. My dad, who was born and lived in Germany until he was 26, hasn't been back to the Fatherland since he visited me when I studied there in 1990 - that's 19 years. So, my parents and my family are all traveling there together which I am very much looking forward to. In any case, my relatives there are your typically stylish Europeans, and at 38, I decided it was time to get into shape and start my quest to be age-appropriately cute so I don't look like a completely frumpy schmuck overseas.

Second, as I approach 40, there are some aspects of the way my body looks and feels that I can simply no longer tolerate. For example, I no longer wish to be slightly overweight and definitely out of shape. The muscles of my youth are almost nonexistent, and I wouldn't mind seeing a trace of them again. It's funny...I sing a lot in front of my son, because he enjoys it, and recently I taught him, "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean." Since then, my son sings it on his own, but at 4, can't quite remember the words. I cracked up hysterically when I heard his version of the chorus, which I have since adopted as my exercise mantra:

Give back! Give back! Give back my body to me, to me!
Give back! Give back! Oh, give back my body to me!

Probably the most troubling aspect of my physical appearance is that I still have a pizza face, still struggle with acne after all of these years. I decided that I'd research and find a solution to this problem first, since, well, this is the issue about my health that, frankly, really pisses me off the most when I think about it.

After doing some online research, I discovered that adult acne can be caused by food allergies. This struck a nerve with me, because my son has food allergies. I've always blamed my husband's side of the family for his problems, because my husband's father and sister both struggle with plant and food allergies. On a whim, I decided to get myself tested at my son's allergy doctor.

Well, as it turns out, I am the source of most of my son's allergy problems! The results of my tests showed that I am allergic to a host of tree, grass, and weed pollens, dust mites, and also quite a few foods, including soy, chocolate (KILL ME NOW!), shellfish, peanuts, and tomatoes (OK, I am 25% Italian and LOVE tomatoes - I CAN NOT DEAL WITH THIS ONE). These initial results also indicate that I am probably allergic to other foods as well. Next week, I'll have my last round of food allergy testing done.

For the last few weeks, I've done my best to avoid the foods I'm allergic to, and I've noticed my skin has improved some, but, even more dramatically, my energy level has increased a lot. Furthermore, since my early 20s, I've had occasional neck and back pain and also joint pain. These problems have also improved lately. My allergy doctor says those are all common complaints from food allergy sufferers. Imagine that, I always thought my problems were due to getting a little bit older and not staying in good physical shape, but the culprit was mostly FOOD. Unbelievable.

As far as my acne goes, I paid (yet another) visit to my dermatologist and essentially told him, that's it, I've had it with acne, I want it gone. So - and, pardon my French, I don't know why the HELL he didn't do this earlier - he did some really gross test (don't read this part if you're eating right now as I just may induce your gag reflex!) in which he poked a bunch of my zits, squeezed some puss out of them, and sent the goo off to a lab to be tested. Apparently, if one suffers from acne for a long period of time, it can become resistant to the medication/topical treatment one is using. Sure enough, my acne turned out to be resistant to the prescription foam wash I had been using. So, now I am using a new topical lotion and it is working much better. I am happy to say, there has been a definite improvement in my skin and I've only been using the lotion for about 2 or 3 weeks.

All of this has taught me an important lesson. It's so important to be proactive about one's health. I always thought I was, but apparently not enough. In the past, I'd always hated running off to the doctor for something unless I was really suffering. Clearly, this is the wrong approach. I've been quite amazed at how I've been able to make some wonderful improvements in the quality of my life and health. And I'm proud of myself for taking the initial steps that have generated those results.

In the Merry, Merry Month of May

May is my favorite month. Mostly because of my birthday and the lilacs (which are my favorite) but also because I love the promise that May brings. The promise of summer.


In May, both my girls came home for the whole summer! We brought one home from college and one graduated from preschool. My husband was even on vacation! I just feel so complete with the whole family together. All the pieces of my heart are in one place at one time and I am on Cloud 9!!

I am savoring every minute because, they won't be here forever. Hubby goes back to work today. One daughter is getting ready for Spain and one is getting ready for kindergarten. No matter what they are doing in the fall, I just love that they are both here now. We have a new play set and the pool up and next week, we are going to put the badminton net up. This is going to be the best summer ever!!


So, thank you May for wheeling in the Summer of Susie:-)

Making a move to help

Well, I read it. For those of you who read my last post, "How can I do more?", you know I was planning on reading Peter Singer's book, The Life You Can Save: Acting Now to End World Poverty. I figured the sooner the better, so I checked it out from the library and just finished it today.

I must say, this is one of the most compelling books I have ever read, one that will prove to be life-altering, I'm sure. Singer presents shocking, factual evidence about the 1.4 billion people who live in extreme poverty around the world and how little we citizens of this planet are doing about it. Before reading this book, I was not knowledgeable about so much information about world poverty that Singer presents. Plus, as a long-time professor of ethics, Singer makes an ethical argument based on sound logic which one simply can't refute for making financial donations to aid organizations which fight poverty, stating that if you are not currently doing so, you are doing something morally wrong. Singer's intent is not for us to feel guilty, but is rather a compassionate and urgent call to action to help the thousands of people who die unnecessarily around the world every day due to the culprits of poverty: a lack of clean water, not enough food, and easily preventable illnesses and diseases.

Singer presents his reader with many helpful hints concerning which aid organizations are reliable and effectively help the world's extreme poor. My husband and I intend on giving an annual donation based on Singer's recommendations.

If you strive to live an ethical, moral life, it is absolutely imperative to read this book. So, how about a pledge? Who will pledge to read Peter Singer's, A Life You Can Save: Acting Now To End World Poverty? (If you don't want to buy it, get it from your local library.) Leave a comment if you'll make the pledge to read this incredible book!

How can I do more?

For a long time now, I have had this nagging feeling, something that is pulling at me to do more. This isn't about fulfilling any particular goals for myself but rather to do something to help others. It's a need that I've felt on almost a daily basis for years now, but sadly, I've never really acted on those feelings and done anything significant to help other people.

In truth, my husband and I are pretty darn lame when it comes to charitable works for our fellow man. This is something I feel very guilty about. I'm Catholic, but it's not a Catholic guilt kind of thing. I guess I simply feel that I've been very fortunate for my entire life, and I firmly believe that those who are more fortunate should help those who aren't. I know that the world is teeming with people who face life struggles every day. For me, it's been easy street. I was born to loving parents whose feet were firmly planted in the American middle class, a place of stability and prosperity; my brother and I never wanted for much during our youth. We were offered wonderful opportunities for education. I attended a private high school and small private college, was even able to study abroad for a year in Germany. Later on, after I became a high school teacher, I attended a grad school program that took place during my summer vacations over a period of several years in Austria.

Now don't get me wrong. By no means am I attempting to brag by sharing all of that with you. I'm simply illustrating that, in many ways, I feel I have lived a charmed life in comparison to the challenges people around the globe face, often times for basic needs such as food and clean water. This bothers me. But I've never been brave enough, or simply just expended the energy, to take the steps necessary to do something about it.

A couple of months ago, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows: Bill Maher's Real Time. One of Maher's guests was Peter Singer, author of the new book, The Life You Can Save. I must confess that I haven't read this book yet, but I find it intriguing and plan to do so. I thought I'd share what I know about it with you. Singer is a long time writer and researcher about world poverty. In the early 70s, he wrote an essay about the topic and this book is a response to the critics of that essay. Singer calls us to action to bring about an end to world poverty and essentially makes the cause a moral issue. He cites the following example: If you were walking by a river and saw a child drowning in it, and all you had to do was jump in and grab the child to save her, you'd do it. If you would see a child in distress like that, your gut reaction would be to do what you could to rescue that child. Doing anything less, simply standing by and watching the child die, would be morally reprehensible. Singer compares this situation to world poverty. If you would see a child dying from starvation, wouldn't you do whatever you could to save that child? The fact of the matter is, we don't. We all know for a fact that people around the world are dying from hunger and preventable diseases due to poverty every day, yet many of us, including myself, do nothing about it, even though we are financially stable and spend money on things that are really fully unnecessary. Singer says that this is morally wrong. For those of us who live in affluent societies, it is easy to simply look the other way, to go on living our daily lives and take care of our own. He states that we do help others when trouble is at our doorstep. For example, Singer cites that after Hurricane Katrina, when we all saw the horrifying pictures of the residents of New Orleans suffering so terribly, many of us donated to relief organizations for that disaster. (My husband and I, in fact, donated to the Red Cross.) However, when it is a world away and so far removed from our own daily lives, we are not so quick to give. Singer goes on to suggest how much to give without greatly sacrificing one's own financial well being.

Peter Singer's book is truly a calling, a challenge. I, for one, intend to read the book and hope to live up to his challenge. Perhaps you would like to do the same. Visit his website at www.thelifeyoucansave.com for more information.

Why Do Moms Cry?

I am not a crier. I don't well up at sappy movies. I don't tear up at emotional stories. However, when my older daughter graduated from high school, I cried. When my younger daughter graduated from preschool, I cried. What is it about our kids that make even the most stoic among us to become puddles on the floor?

Well, I can't speak for the millions of mothers out there but, I think I have it identified for me. When I see any of my kids reach a milestone or participate in some huge event, all of the work that it took to get them there comes rushing back. It's such a relief to have reached the goal that the pressure releases like air coming out of a fully blown balloon. And that makes me cry.

So what about you? Are you a crier? Do your kids achievements make you cry? If so, why? Inquiring minds want to know:-)

A Nut Job's In The Dressing Room

I've been feeling a little down on my luck lately. In the last month, my husband and I have had to replace our computer and dishwasher, and yesterday, we woke up to no hot water. I had been watching the dollars disappear from our savings account and was totally annoyed that we'd have yet another expense to fix or replace a potentially defunct hot water heater. Well, let me tell ya', that was nothing compared to the horror I experienced later that day.

After having successfully avoided this task for the last five years, I bit the bullet and went shopping for a new swimming suit. I'm so overdue for one. I've been wearing the same suit I bought when I was three months pregnant five years ago. Yes, that's right. The logical conclusion that you can reach from that is that, right now, I weigh approximately what I did when I was three months pregnant. I am very annoyed with this fact but apparently not annoyed enough to do something about it and lose the weight. So, anyhoo, the swimsuit I've had for the last five years is now finally a bit too big. Actually, I'm not even sure that is totally accurate. It may just be that it's so old and worn that the fabric just isn't as taut as it used to be. In any case, it just doesn't fit well anymore and it's worn out enough that it's embarrassing going to the pool with it on. (We live in Texas where it's already in the 90s - ergo this talk of swimming.)

So, off to the store I went. I picked out a few suits that I thought I might look decent in and went into the dressing room. I got naked, took one look in the mirror, and...OH, THE HORROR! I couldn't believe what I was looking at - it was me, but fat and really very unsightly. But, I thought perhaps there was still hope. Maybe, just maybe, a brightly colored swimsuit would cover up some of the folds of flesh. Ok, NO. Not at all.

In fact, I looked so awful that I actually found myself laughing at my image in the mirror...cracking up, really,...and making all sorts of loud exclamations of disbelief at what I was seeing: "Good Lord, I am SOOOO FAT!!" "How did this happen?? I AM A COW!!" "Where are my muscles? Have they gone on vacation or something?? They are gone!" "WHEN did this happen? When did I morph into....THIS??" And all the while I was laughing hysterically.

Suddenly, I heard two store clerks laughing, and I heard one say softly to the other: "Dude, there's a nut job in that dressing room."

I guess I can take solace in someting. I may be fat, but my hearing is still top notch.

The Three Phases of Hair

Ever since I got my new haircut, I have been struggling. It doesn't meet the three phases that I have for my hair:

1) Occasion Hair: This is the hair you wear to events (i.e. weddings, TV appearances, etc.)

2) Normal Hair Day Hair: This is the hair you wear to work and around your everyday life.

3) Non-Glamour Hair Day Hair: This is the hair you wear when you don't care. It's the hair you wear to the gym and painting your living room.

Now, my new do looks good in Occasion and Normal however, it takes too long to do. I have a house full of people this summer and my bathroom time is limited. And, my Non-Glamour is full out hat hair. I mean, I can not in any way shape or form walk around like this! And it frustrates me because I spend most of my summer in #3.

So, this is going to be a long hot summer or I had better go shopping for more hats!

I know that this is my second post about hair but, everthing is right with the world if my hair looks good.What about you? What makes you feel put together?

Drowning In Our Stuff

We have too much stuff. It's like a disease, really. Something we want to be cured of. My family has simply way too many possessions for the size house we live in. Although our house is a decent-sized one story, about 2200 square feet, we don't have a basement (CURSE YOU, Texas!) and our storage area in our home is very limited.

Both of my part-time teaching jobs are over for the summer, and now that I have significantly more time on my hands, I've begun the battle to reclaim my house from all of the things that have cluttered it up over the years.

Right now, I'm concentrating on my son's playroom. I actually find the amount of toys this child has abhorrent. A small army of children could play with all of the things in his playroom and not get bored for weeks, I kid you not. My son is 4 and from the get-go, we were not the smartest parents about toys. We didn't do the recommended-in-every-baby-book-around method of boxing toys and rotating them every few weeks. So, things just kind of piled up. We've put away the baby toys, but he still has an incredible amount of stuff that is currently age appropriate for him. And what's funny is that he doesn't play all that well with his toys. Most of the time, he seems a bit uninspired with all of the playthings at his fingertips.

I would imagine this is pretty common (ok, readers, is it really?) for his age, but it doesn't make it any less nerve-wracking to me. So, I'm on a mission to clean out his toys - throw away any junk and keep and organize what's left. There are two closets in our playroom and a few shelves that all desperately require my attention. I know I could probably throw away and/or donate at least half of what is in stored in them, and that's what I plan on doing over the next few days, probably through the weekend.

Let the good times roll...

Happy Mother's Day

I hope all the mother's of the world, enjoy your day today. I know I am. These two beautiful girls are why I qualify to celebrate today. They are both special in their own way and I couldn't be prouder that I have them to love.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Structured Summer Fun

The countdown is on... Only a few more weeks until school is out for the summer. I haven't decided yet whether this countdown is precursory to a nuclear bomb going off in my household or more akin to that of a rocket blasting off to fun and adventure for three months of summer vacation.

Summer vacation is a big deal around our home; it's not just something that affects our four-year old son, Kurt, who attends preschool twice a week and a German preschool on Saturdays. My husband is a high school teacher, so he's home for the summer, too. This means our entire family is home and will either really get on each other's nerves or genuinely enjoy one another's company for three months that have the potential to be excruciatingly long or a whole heckuva lot of fun.

The days that my son is home from preschool - Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday -are usually good days, but sometimes things don't go so well. My son is a very active, curious little boy who probably needs a bit more structure than I provide for him at home. As an only child, he gets a little lonely oftentimes, and on the days we don't see any friends, I am his only playmate. He doesn't play that well on his own yet (some days are better than others in this regard), and I find that he is still pretty needy of my attention. I'm a pretty laid back person who often times lacks the skills needed to effectively stucture and maintain order in my days. I usually just roll with the punches, but sometimes the hits my son can dish out are a little rough...

This summer, I've decided that I desperately need to put some significant structure into our days. In an effort to save some money and give my son a break from school (3 days a week was a lot for my little guy this year), we won't send him to any kind of summer "camp." The last two years, Kurt attended summer "camp" at his preschool two days per week for about half of the summer. We also visited my parents for three weeks, so that took care of basically the entire summer vacation. This summer, Kurt will have swimming lessons in June every day for a 10-day session. We'll also go on a two-week vacation. Other than that, we'll be here at home. So, I need to figure out some ways to provide some structured activities into our days before all hell breaks loose and I lose my mind.

So far, I only have two ideas to provide some routine into our summer days: every Tuesday, we'll attend a science and math storytime at the library from 2-3 PM, and every Friday morning our playgroup gets together. I have a few other ideas, too, but they are not day or time specific. For example, my son just started riding a big-kid bike with training wheels. I figured, the three of us could all go for an early morning bike ride after breakfast before the day heats up to Hades-like temperatures (we live in Houston). It might even be better to make this an evening activity, perhaps a few days a week, so that my son doesn't get too gassed out before his mid-morning swimming lesson. I'd also like to include a few swimming days in our week, as our subdivision has a pool and my son just loves to frolick and play in the water.

That's all I've come up with so far. I'm wondering if any of you have some tips as to how to provide more structure to my days with a preschool aged child. I'm open to any and all advice. :0)

Good Hair Day

There is nothing more annoying than a bad hair day. It just takes the sharp edge off your day. You feel less confident, not put together and self-conscious. It is very distracting! Conversely, you can conquer the world on a good hair day! Everything is right with the world when every hair is in place.

But, what happens when you have a good hair day and no place to go? Doesn't it seem like a waste? You wake up on a Thursday, do your hair and...perfection. I mean, you could get married in this do! And then, nothing. You have monumental great hair and it's same old, same old. No one appreciates the magnificence at the grocery store. People could care less at the post office. Not even a second look at the dry cleaners. It's like singing the perfect aria in an abandoned auditorium. It's a shame.

I had one of these last week and it kind of bummed me out. Then, I decided to turn it back to where it belonged...to me. Who cares if no one appreciates my good hair? I feel good. I know I look good. So this good feeling is all mine and that's enough and that's ok today.

Just as long as it looks this good when my husband takes me out on that romantic dinner...

Wheelin' and Dealin'

I recently began clipping coupons from the newspaper. I had never done so before in my adult life, for several reasons. Many years ago, my husband and I had subscribed to the newspaper and it created a lot of paper clutter in our house. (My husband constantly tells me there isn't a piece of paper around that I don't love. I seem to have a slight problem with paper hoarding. Piles are always accumulating on various flat surfaces around our home.) We couldn't stand it, so we canceled the subscription. Additionally, I had always imagined that scanning the paper for coupons would be way too time consuming. Plus, seeing as I am organizationally challenged when it comes to paper, I figured I could never put any coupons I had clipped into any sort of accessible system for use when I would go shopping.

However, after hearing from two of my girlfriends about how crazy I was by missing out on all sorts of money-saving opportunities by using coupons, I decided to resubscribe to the newspaper and join the ranks of the Coupon Clippers.

If I was crazy before I began clipping coupons, I've certainly inched up the lunacy scale since I've been clipping crazed. Now, I can hardly wait for the Sunday paper every week. And once Sunday arrives, I'm the first one out of bed and running out the door to fetch the newspaper from our driveway. (My husband and I have been talking about getting a dog recently, but he says with my fetching skills and enthusiasm for the task - who needs one?!) Once I'm back inside, I sit down and clip away, Edward Scissorhands-style.

I think I've saved a fairly decent amount of money over the past two months through using coupons. But now that I'm on board with coupons, I'm looking for something more - perhaps internet sites advertising money-saving deals, etc. I've looked into a few, but I haven't really found any that advertise too many things that I actually use. Perhaps that's a common problem.

With the economy in its current state, everyone is looking to save money these days. So, my question is, what do you do to save money on your purchases? Coupons? Internet sites? If so, which ones?

When is a Negative a Positive?

Ok...my delusions of grandeur are going away. I finally figured out why I think I am skinner than I really am; I could never feel it. I was so out of shape that I couldn't feel the difference between fat and muscle. Now, I have been working out all year and I have been able to develop some muscle. Great! I feel better and stronger everyday however, there are a couple drawbacks: The scale isn't moving and now, I can feel how fat I really am. Yuck!

It's kind of motivating though...the self-repulsion. I start to think...maybe I can skip my workout today. Then, I get up and "watch it wiggle, see it jiggle" (remember that Jello commercial?). That's when I think, "Oh no. You had better get your fat butt up and work off that Jello!!"

As a recent therapy graduate , I understand that the negative self-talk is not the greatest for my emotional well-being however, can it be used to achieve greater physical results? I mean, when is a negative a positive?

Belinda's...errr...Brenda's Dream

This is the reigning queen of our garden, a rose called Belinda's Dream. She is certainly worthy of both her royal status and name, wouldn't you agree? Truthfully, I never used to like pink roses all that much, just thought they were way too foo-foo and fluffy. I guess I can honestly say that I don't really like much that is pink, roses or anything else for that matter. Pink represents to me everything about women that is soft and, I guess from my perspective, weak. (No offense to anyone out there who likes pink; this is just my opinion which is probably worth diddly squat in the general scheme of things.)

My mind changed about pink roses in the blink of an eye when I saw that first bursting, luscious bloom on our rose bush that my husband and I worked so hard to plant. It was just gorgeous and the fact that it was growing in our garden (a place where I tend to kill things off on a regular basis with seemingly little effort - but perhaps that is the core of the problem) made it even more spectacular. I also gained a new respect for pink roses and the color pink the first time I attempted to trim that nasty Belinda. She is a thorny warrior just waiting to pierce anyone who decides to mess with her. Soft and weak, Belinda is certainly not.

What's kind of funny about the name of our rose bush is that I am often mistaken for Belinda. For some reason, the name "Brenda" is difficult for surprisingly many people to understand, and instead they hear "Belinda." I can't tell you how many times I've been called Belinda over the course of my lifetime. And I always hated the name. Thought it sounded silly. Who the heck puts a "Be-" on "Linda"?? How does that make any sort of sense?

So, both the color pink and the name Belinda have really grown on me (please excuse the garden pun) since I've been in ownership of the awesome Belinda's Dream and seen it flourish in our backyard (once again, without me doing much of anything to help it along, and it hasn't died!).

I wish all gardening were that easy. Gardening and I have a love/hate relationship. I love to see plants that I've put into the ground grow and bloom, but I hate the work that is involved. In fact, I hate all aspects of gardening: the dirt, the bugs, and the physical labor. Yes, I am a total girly-girl.

I guess you could say that it is my dream to one day enjoy gardening and be good at it. The fact that I don't do either of those things is quite an embarrassment for me, because both my parents and my husband's parents are avid gardeners who all have beautiful yards and gardens that are painstakingly taken care of and loved. My husband and I pale considerably in comparison.

A few weeks ago, though, my guy and I completely redid our front yard landscaping (which was very pathetic looking, let me tell ya') in the course of a weekend. I had wanted to do so for a while but could never convince Kurt (who I think hates yard work even more than I do) to help me, and I knew I couldn't do all of the digging and planting by myself. Finally, after much harassment on my part for, oh, I'd say YEARS, he agreed. I think what did the trick is that I threatened to hire a professional landscape company to come out and do it at the cost of $2,000. This may sound outrageous to you (and it did to us too), but professional landscaping is the norm in Texas. Practically no one here does their own mowing or gardening. With both of us being from the Midwest, we find it an odd phenomenon. Neither of us has stooped to that low in 11 years of living here in our house. Coming from hearty German stock on both sides, we just could never bring ourselves to do it; Germans love to garden, our parents are gardeners, and we knew we should be too. So, we cheated a bit. I had a landscaping company come to our house, make us a landscaping plan, and then we went out and bought all of the plants and planted them ourselves. It was a ton of work, but we did it at a cost of a few hundred dollars instead of two thousand.

Now, after a couple of weeks, some of the plants are starting to grow and bloom, and our front yard actually looks quite nice. In fact, our yard looks so welcoming and pleasant, it's a dream come true...Brenda's Dream.

The Best Thing Ever!!

I told my husband that my transmission was broken. After I picked him off the floor, I told him it was my transmission and not the car. I change gears all day long (wife, mommy, caregiver, blogger, home chef, friend, etc, etc, etc.). I have a problem slowly down from hyperdrive back into first gear. In other words, I have Relaxation Deficiency Sydrome or RDS:-)

The one thing that really helps me with RDS is taking baths. When we remodeled our bathrooms last year, I rallied hard for a whirlpool tub. Alas, it was not to meant to be. Other than being cost prohibitive, my mom would not be able to get in and out of high walls of this type of tub. So, we didn't put one in. I had one of those mats that blows air around and that was a good enough substitute until, it broke. Then, my RDS came back with a vengance.

Wednesday, my RDS got so bad, my husband (unbeknownst to me) bought me a new mat and OH. MY. GOSH! It is heaven right here on earth!. Not only does it blow bubbles in my water but they are warm bubbles! It was in there an hour last night before the water got too cold. It also has a neck AND foot massager AND a remote control!! Shut up! I may never leave the house again!

RDS is not a real disorder but if it were, I highly recommend this device. Unless you are lucky enough to have your own whirlpool tub, it is the best thing ever!!