Woe is me...

Allergies have taken this family for a loop. Last year, in February of 2008, we had our son tested for allergies, only to discover he has a plethora of plant, dust, and food allergies. Dealing with that alone has been a challenge. For the last six months, I've had a terrible flare up of adult acne on my neck, an area I've never had trouble with before, even though I've suffered from acne since my teen years and into my 20s and now 30s. After reading on the internet that acne can result from food allergies, I decided to get myself tested for allergies as well. My test results came back with just as many allergies as my son. I was ASTOUNDED to discover the sheer amount of foods to which I have an allergy. The list has put a major cramp in my style when it comes to cooking, because, as you'll see for yourself, there just aren't too many basic supermarket foods left that are OK for me to eat. So, in response to my need to do some major venting about my situation, I thought I'd share...

The Complete List of Foods That F*** Me Up:
(Please excuse the implied use of a highly tasteless expletive. I know it's terribly ill mannered, and I am duly sorry, but it is merely an expression of my extreme FRUSTRATION!)

I am highly allergic to...
1) peanuts
2) tomatoes (Good thing I am mostly German, because I have to renounce my Italian side - sorry, Mom.)
3) soy beans (Farewell to many of my favorite Asian foods!)
4) chocolate (Kill me now! Just do it. I mean it. NOW.)
5) shrimp
6) crab
7) scallops
8) chicken (hmmm - about 40% of my cooking repertoire is knocked out with that one - how to rebound??)
9) pineapple
10) pecans
11) coconuts (This is the only one that doesn't bother me one bit - BLECH!)
12) squash
13) cabbage (Ummmm, OK, maybe I have to renounce my German side, too.)
14) cucumber
15) broccoli
16) green beans
17) ginger (Farewell to most remaining Asian foods and all home remedies to help my motion sickness in vehicles - sigh)
18) cauliflower
19) almonds

After this list, one might wonder: What's left?? Oh, but wait! Here is the list of foods I am borderline allergic to and can only eat once a week:
1) eggs
2) turkey
3) oranges
4) strawberries
5) peaches
6) blueberries
7) cinnamon (It's a good thing I lack inspiration in the kitchen, cuz' I don't bake much.)
8) coffee (Someone is out to get me, I SWEAR.)
9) carrots
10) peas
11) onion (Stop the madness! Call me a bad-breathed, tootin' weirdo, but I love onions!)
12) garlic (Life. is. over.)

I'm wondering how to keep track of all these. Actually, I think I've pretty much given up and decided it's impossible. I'll try to do what I can with the first list but this is really just too CRAZY! The other day, I spent two hours looking through cookbooks for new recipes to try, and I found a whopping THREE that I could eat! Out of the 30 recipes or so that I used to make on a regular basis (I had a month's worth of recipes that I rotated for my family), I'm down to about five that I can still cook. In the meantime, I'm becoming more and more malnourished by the second...