Summer is Here!!

It was HOT today here in Wisconsin. 90 degrees in May...unbelievable!! My garden is in gear and I am ready to put up that pool! I am thrilled...my skin is not.

My skin really takes a beating this time of year. I already have my summer feet. For three to four months, the bottom of my feet go from lily white to shall we say earth-toned. I will not feel dry until September from all the sun screen and moisturizer and bug spray. And my hair...forget about it. My mop will be a frizzy mess until Halloween.

So, here is to summer...I may be ugly but I am loving the weather:-)

How Was Your Mother's Day?

Mine was great! I am soooooooo spoiled! My husband and younger daughter put together such a beautiful day. They made a gourmet breakfast together complete with mimosas and table clothes. I got flowers and chocolate and candles...they sure know me well. Then, we went out to lunch and back home for a gourmet dinner. And, I didn't have to lift a finger...

...until today. But you know what, I didn't even mind the extra dishes and extra laundry today. It didn't put me that far back and yesterday was so perfect, it didn't matter. Awesome!!

And, the gifts keep giving. As a mother, I have volunteered a lot at school this year. As such, I am being honored at the Volunteer Appreciation Breakfast tomorrow. I am going to soak this in because next year, I won't be eligible because...

I am going to be the Vice-President of the PTO. They saw me coming:-) But I love it.

Also tomorrow, I am going to be recognized as a leader for Girl Scouts with a nice dinner. How fun is that?

Who said motherhood is a thankless job?

Annoyed Already

Last week Thursday, I registered my son for Kindergarten. My son is still 5 months away from taking his first steps into his "big kid school," and I'm already annoyed. I am a teacher (12 years in public high schools and now 3 at a community college), and I fear I am going to be one of those parents who can't stop complaining, whose standards and expectations are high and who calls to complain every time those expectations are not met.

So, this is what happened...

First, I go to the district website the Tuesday prior to registration to download the 20+ pages of paperwork I have to fill out in order to register my child. The links to the paperwork don't work and I suspect it's a problem on my end. I call the school. No, it's a website problem and the links won't be up and running again before registration. So, unless I want to sit at the school the evening of registration for an hour and fill out the paperwork, I can pick up the papers at the school beforehand. Fine. I do this on that Tuesday with my son in tow. I ask the woman in charge of the registration paperwork if the registration evening which lasts from 4:30 to 7:00 is something to which I should bring my son or if I should leave him at home with Daddy. She tells me that they are trying to get some of the junior high kids to come to it to do some fun activities with the kids who are there, that there will be tours of the Kindergarten classrooms, and a video will be shown called, "A Day in the Life of a Kindergartner." That sounds like fun for my son, I say, and she agrees that it should be. I say I will bring him.

And I do. But it turns out that the only thing the school manages to get even remotely organized is the video. Other than that - no junior high kids, no fun activities, no tours of the classrooms. The video isn't even up and running yet the entire time I'm there, and it takes me an hour and a half to get through all of the registration stations. The event itself runs for less than 3 hours, and the video is not playing after an hour and a half. Hmmmm. I'm hoping our experiences at the school once my son becomes an official Kindergartner aren't always this disappointing.

So, I'm annoyed. I can't help it. My poor son had to stand there waiting in five different lines with me doing absolutely nothing for an hour and a half when he could have stayed home with his father.

But wait, there's more. I overhear one parent ask a staff member if parents can request one's child's teacher. The response: "No, but we try to match the children according to their personality and ability level with the appropriate teacher." I wonder how they do this when they don't even know my child. Then, though, at one of the stations, I'm given a questionaire to fill out about my child, about the activities he likes, his attention span, his abilities concerning shapes,numbers, letters, etc., and what his personality is like. I fill it out and include it with the rest of the paperwork in the folder. When I come home, I discover I've come home with this questionaire, that no one at 3 different stations had taken it from me. So, now I'm even more annoyed. Now, I have to call the school and find out whom I need to bring it to.

As long as I'll be on the phone with the school, I'm tempted to let them know just how I felt about the registration evening. But I don't know if I want to establish myself as one of the *those* moms already.

What would you do?

Did You Ever Get...

...news that was so shocking but you couldn't share?? I did today...and I am dying!!!!

Happy Birthday Honey!!

Today is my hubby's birthday:-)

It takes a real man to pull off this look:-)

We celebrated by cleaning our room and breezeway. Don't feel too sorry for him. He got love in the form of family and Susie's Pecan Pie:-)

Happy Birthday Honey! We love you very much!!

making visits to the doctor easier on our little ones

Yesterday, my son and I went to his pediatrician for his 5-year old wellness checkup. Doctor Singh is a popular lady around these parts, so wait time at her office is always lengthy. After waiting for an annoyingly long time in the waiting room, we wait again for what seems like an eternity once we're in the examining room. My son handles these doctor visits as best as he can at his age. I always arrive at Dr. Singh's office armed with snacks, a few small toys, my son's Leapster, and some crayons and coloring books. Even with so many activities to choose from, my dear boy still gets restless all penned up in a small room with no windows for so long.

So, I'm wondering, what do you do to make visits to the doctor a bit easier for your young child? The best trick of the trade I've come up with so far is to let the rolled out paper on the examining table be my son's art canvas. Yesterday, he and I created a very detailed beach and underwater scene complete with (at his urging) a killer whale, a shark, an electrical eel, a Nemo fish, Dory, a palm tree with coconuts, and sunbathers. Dr. Singh was duly impressed that my son was familiar with so many sea creatures...and that the sunbathers had a bottle of sunscreen, SPF 70, sitting next to them in the sand. :-)

What Should I Do With My Hair

I am going through a mid-life crisis. I am turning 40 in 2 and a half months. I haven't dropped the weight I have wanted to lose. I don't have enough money to throw myself a great party. I got an application for AARP. My doctor asked me if I had experiences hot flashes yet. And, I am on two inhalers (one of which I have to gargle after so I don't get throat fungus!). I am a pathetic mess and I need a change.

I want to cut my hair...off!! It's thick, it's hot (with hot flashes coming hot is the last thing I want my hair to be) and it takes to long to do. So, here is what I look like now:

And here is what I am looking at doing:

So, what do you think? Which one?

Our Apples Aren't Keeping the Doctors Away

You know the saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"? Well, we eat our apples but our doctors are still on speed dial!!I know I have been talking a lot about health (or lack there of) lately but I am just so frustrated right now.

I am frustrated with myself. I haven't had an asthma attack in 10 years and one little bronchitis later and I am huffing and puffing on my inhaler like there is no tomorrow.

I am also frustrated with my youngest's health right now. This is the third round of antibiotics that she has been on THIS YEAR!! Yikes!! The pediatrician said that there isn't anything to worry about. She has missed 8 days of school this year...10%!! If I were paying tuition, I would want 10% of my money back.

So, here are some questions for the masses...how much school has your kids missed this year? Is it me or is this the worst year ever for colds?

Spring has Sprung but...

...where am I? Sick as a dog:-(

There is nothing worse than having a gorgeous day outside and being stuck inside because you have been sick all week. No fun:-(

I am so frustrated with my health. Everytime I have a good workout routine going, literally every 30 days, I get sick....without fail!!! Any ideas on how to break the cycle?

An Ode to a Crashing Computer

My computer hit the dust

And now I am lost.

I have to fix quickly

No matter what the cost.


I am so far behind

I can not see the light.

A To Do list longer than my arm,

With no end in sight.


So remember me fondly

When you come around.

I will be looking for my sanity.

In the lost and found.

Is It March Yet?

I am so over the cold.

I am so over the snow.

I am so over the doctor's appointments.

I am so over the pomp and circumstance of the birthday season.

I am so over it.

Carlisle

Long time, no see! I have neglected my blogging duties terribly these last several months. Thanks to Sue and Kari for keeping things alive and kicking around here! I was really overwhelmed by the holiday season this year. Trying to keep myself organized with getting ready for Christmas and ending the semester at two schools which I work at part-time really did me in. And just when the new year arrived and things should have settled down, my son turned 5 and there were more presents to buy and celebrations to plan. When I finally came up for air, my semester at the community college started again and so I dove right back into syllabi, lesson planning, and teaching. Whew!

It doesn't stop there. On Sunday, my son got a big Valentine's Day surprise. A new dog! His name is Carlisle. He's a poodle-terrier mix whom we purchased from the Poodle Rescue of Houston. So far, we are already reaping the many benefits of having a dog in the family. Our exercise routine went up a notch immediately! We are taking at least two walks a day with Carlisle in addition to some pretty active playtime with him indoors as well. My son has enthusiastically taken several chores upon himself: feeding Carlisle and holding onto his leash for much of the time that we walk him. Valuable lessons concerning responsibility are being learned. We are also simply enjoying laughing and playing together with our new addition to the family!

Here is a picture taken on Valentine's Day of me with Carlisle at the shelter when I picked him up to bring him home.

I Lost My Husband Yesterday

My husband has been counting down the days. There is ringing in his ears, the smell of burning rubber in his nose and his heart beats just a little bit faster.

No...he isn't having a cardiac episode...The Daytona 500 aired yesterday. So, although he is alive and kicking, I will be a widow until Thanksgiving:-)

Happy Birthday Baby

This is my newly annointed 6-year-old!!

She is my heart walking the earth and I love her more than words can say! Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Ok...She Can Pull the Knife Out Now!

It has happened...already! The other day my youngest daughter said to me:

"Mom, you know, you don't have to walk me to the end of the driveway anymore. I am brave enough to go on my own."

"What??? No way!!"

"If you aren't brave enough, you can watch from the house or the garage."

"What?? No way!!!"

She is in kindergarten, ya'll!! Kindergarten!! I knew this day would come but, I thought I had at least a couple years before THIS would happen!

I am not read for this. I still need the "hand-off". I need to take my baby and look the bus driver in the eye and make small talk and all the while really saying, "I am entrusting my flesh and blood to you now. I relinquish control. Please be careful with my heart."

I cannot and will not do this! I still need the hand-off. And if that means that it takes her a little bit longer to grow up then, so be it. Just give me some time. I will get there. Just not yet...ok?

So, she can pull that knife out of my heart now. It ain't happenin'!

Senario of Defeat

Sunday: Power Outage...for the third time in 5 weeks.

Monday: I move mountains and align moons to get my mom to a rescheduled doctor's appointment on my youngest daughter's day off from school. We get there in plenty of time only to be told that the appointment is for next Monday. Ah...no...no it's not! These people don't understand how delicate my calendar is. I KNOW the appointment was for this Monday. They screwed up but it is my time that gets wasted.

Tuesday: I wake to find that younger daughter has slept in her own vomit. So, the nice little two loads of laundry I was going to do has multiplied into 5 (it went over EVERYTHING!) But, I somehow get it all done before she returns home from school. I even make a healthy and tasty dinner for the family. I then contently drive off to the school for a PTO meeting. NO ONE is there!! I get home and recheck the bulletin and sure enough...Tuesday, January 19th in room 201. Oh no there wasn't!! Oh and then, same daughter tells me she just spilled juice all over the sheets and comforter and EVERYTHING that I just spent ALL morning cleaning for her!!!!!

So tell me, what does a normal person do in reaction to spewing children and disrespectful people who waste your precious time? Do you know what I do? I eat. And so I did. Fail:-(

P.S. I am writing this on Tuesday night. In the event that more such frustrations are presented to me this week, by the time you read this, I will be shaking in the corner with a shit-eating grin framed by cake sharpnel and massive twitching. I should not be held responsible for my actions:-)

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 3

So, a habit forms for one reason but perpetuates for another. Since I have established that my eating disorder originated with my mother, now I need to figure out why it continues. The easy answer: it works. When I feel anxiety, I eat. When I feel unsecure, I eat. Whenever I do anything, I eat. I have to train my brain to shift 30 years of thinking and feeling in order to be successful.

How do I do that? Replace with one behavior with another. I have also found that I am an obcessive tracker. I track everything. I track my schedule. I track my stats on my blog. I track my income. So so, I am tracking my stats. I track my calorie intack and out take. I am working on the Wii which is a trackers dream and I am tracking my steps on my I-touch with a .99 cent application (Burn Fat). I have decided that my obcessive complusive behavior will finally serve me well.

And how is it going? Well, I have lost 6 pounds since the 10th!! Go Susie go! I will get you out of that fat girl yet:-)

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 2

What happens to a young girl when she witnessed the actual crushing of her mother's spirit? A big hole forms in her center that she can never fill. Not with men. Not with drugs. Not with alcohol and not with food.

That is how my unnatural relationship with food began. I knew at that moment that I no longer had a mother. I knew that I was going to have to figure everything out on my own. I would never have a soft place to fall again. I knew that things would never be right. That I would never be right.

I found myself alone in my room sobbing over a tough day at school. But then, I remembered the Ding Dongs in the cubboard and I downed the box. The smell of the chocolate was soothing. My troubles seemed to float away as the soft cakes melted in my mouth. The hug I needed on the outside was replaced by swallowing the soft cakes; like a hug inside.

But as swiftly as the love came, is how fast it left. Soon after the consumption, I was on the cold tile floor, returning the Ding Dongs from wence it came. Even their comfort came at a price. Why does everything have to be so hard?

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 1

I remember the day she gave up. She was sitting on the couch, exhausted from taking care of everyone all day. He came home and belittled her because the kid's toys weren't picked up.

"What do you do all day?", he snapped. Cliche now; the straw that broke a mother's spirit then. He didn't know the venom in his words.

She didn't say a word but, you could actually see the shift in her. The white flag of defeat was waving in her eyes. The weight of the world fell off her shoulders. The jovial laugh that shook the house with joy was silenced for good. It was then she resolved to do nothing. It was to show him her value. The problem was she became her resolution; she was nothing.

Nothing was her safe place. If she did nothing, she would not be required to engage anyone. If she didn't engage with anyone, she wouldn't get hurt. But it wasn't enough to do nothing. There had to be a mechanism in which to cope.

Food as her drug of choice. It couldn't be cigarettes or alcohol. Those were his vices and they were dispicable. But food...food was her friend. Food was always there. Food was socially acceptable. Food would always make her feel better. Food numbed the pain.

And so, she stayed on that couch...the couch where the surrender was made. And it was there the legacy began...