Recently, the Today Show aired a show about excessive hoarding which caught my attention. It piqued my interest because my mom suffers from this disorder. I wrote about how we are dealing with it as a family on Happy to be at Home however, I wanted to explore the topic here as how it has affected me as a woman.
Growing up with a wounded parent is never easy. Her abanondment gave me a job from birth: to take care of her. So, that meant, she didn't take care of me. I never felt like I had a net, a soft place to fall or a place for advice. She was too wrapped up in her own pain to be there for me.
This isn't a story of woe. I wouldn't be the person I am today if she were a healthy woman. It's just magnified since she lives with us now and some of the anger and bitterness is still here. I don't know that it will ever go away but what made it easier was realizing that she really is mentally ill. It's almost like there was a reason for this maddness she made us live in and live with.
It's never easy living with a parent that has a disease. I can relate. And you're right we would not be the women we are today if it not been for how we grew up. I hope someday I'll be able to understand why they say 'everything happens for a reason', but it does!
ReplyDeleteTake care! ;0)
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Oh Susie I so relate, and yes we are who we are due to it. Booth to the positive and the negative. Living with the mentally ill is crazy making for our own lives.
ReplyDeleteIt effects us so deeply to the core.
Understanding, gaining knowledge is the beginning of the wisdom necessary to love.
I know this goes much deeper than you were able to convey in your post. It is a daily struggle that has no beginning and no end. May you find the strength you need to see you through each day.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see this, but one of my grandmothers had this too. It worked the opposite on my mother and I am somewhere in between.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have the best upbringing and I know that's what has helped me to be the best mom I know I can be too!
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