The Best Thing Ever!!

I told my husband that my transmission was broken. After I picked him off the floor, I told him it was my transmission and not the car. I change gears all day long (wife, mommy, caregiver, blogger, home chef, friend, etc, etc, etc.). I have a problem slowly down from hyperdrive back into first gear. In other words, I have Relaxation Deficiency Sydrome or RDS:-)

The one thing that really helps me with RDS is taking baths. When we remodeled our bathrooms last year, I rallied hard for a whirlpool tub. Alas, it was not to meant to be. Other than being cost prohibitive, my mom would not be able to get in and out of high walls of this type of tub. So, we didn't put one in. I had one of those mats that blows air around and that was a good enough substitute until, it broke. Then, my RDS came back with a vengance.

Wednesday, my RDS got so bad, my husband (unbeknownst to me) bought me a new mat and OH. MY. GOSH! It is heaven right here on earth!. Not only does it blow bubbles in my water but they are warm bubbles! It was in there an hour last night before the water got too cold. It also has a neck AND foot massager AND a remote control!! Shut up! I may never leave the house again!

RDS is not a real disorder but if it were, I highly recommend this device. Unless you are lucky enough to have your own whirlpool tub, it is the best thing ever!!

Miles Away From Family

This past Easter weekend, my parents came to visit me and my family here in Houston. They still live in Wisconsin, where I lived for the first 27 years of my life. Now that I'm 38, I've lived far away from them for over 10 years, but time has not lessened the degree to which I miss being physically close to them.

I came to Houston after meeting my husband in grad school. He lived in Houston at the time and I was in Milwaukee. We dated long distance for a year, became engaged, and then I came here to be with him after getting hitched. Someone had to make the move. Because he had had several more years invested in his career (and hence retirement account) than I did, we decided it would make more sense for me to embrace the southern lifestyle.

I was enthusiastically on board for the move. My many years in Wisconsin had made me a bit restless, and I was never a fan of Wisconsin winters which seem to go on for an eternity before spring finally kicks in.

So many good things have come from leaving my comfort zone. As a young woman who was pampered by loving, doting parents all of my life, I needed the swift kick in the rear end that living on the other side of the country provided. I had never realized how much I had depended on my parents for so many things, how spoiled I had been, and how I had come to assume that their immediate help would always be there if and whenever I needed it.

Leaving that was both the hardest and best thing I've ever done. I've been independent, self sufficient, and productive in every aspect of my life: as a teacher, a student, a wife, a mother, and a friend. While here in Texas, I have accomplished so much. I've worked harder as a teacher than I ever have. Marrying my husband, who is also a German teacher, has had a huge impact on my career. We've both learned a lot from each other and have become better educators as a result. I had started my master's degree a few years before getting married and completed it here in Texas. My husband had completed his same degree through the same program shortly before we were married. His guidance and advice through my final coursework and thesis were indispensable. He also provided me with the emotional support I needed to follow through with my studies and get the job done. With a master's in hand, I've had a world of choices open up to me. It allowed me to stop teaching full time and stay at home with my son after he was born four years ago. I was able to find another part time job teaching a couple of evenings a week at a local community college (which requires a master's degree). It's supplemented our income just enough to keep us going, and my son can spend evenings that I am at work having fun with his Papa at home.

Being a mother to my son has not always been easy for me. It's been a heckuva lot of hard work that oftentimes overwhelms me. Lately it's been easier and I've enjoyed it much more. When my son was 3, we found out he has a diary allergy. It was such a relief to get an answer to so many questions that we had about his behavior and a few troubling health issues. My son had cried a lot as an infant and then became a difficult child as a toddler who was often very moody and even beligerent. He also suffered from chronic constipation which made both him and us miserable. It took us a while to figure out that all of that was not normal and that he needed to undergo some tests. Making his diet dairy-free has turned everything around for my son who is now a pleasant and fun-loving four year old. And the changes that we've made are something that I'm very proud of, because all of the hard work that has gone into helping my son cope with his allergies has been a success story that is mine and mine alone.

Leaving my friends in Wisconsin was almost as traumatic as leaving my family. I miss (and will always miss) their regular presence in my life and mine in theirs. Making friends here in Houston took forever; I almost thought it would never happen. And heaven knows, for most of us women out there, we all need our girlfriends, right?! After seven years here I still had not even one single good friend. And it certainly wasn't for a lack of trying. But all of that changed after my son was born. Slowly but surely, I've met other moms who have children the same age as my son. And it's been delightful to welcome other women into my life again. I've met some incredible women here, and they enrich my life on a daily basis. I've learned a lot from them about adult friendships as grown women.

After a visit with my parents, I like to take stock of all of the wonderful ways Texas has made its mark on me. It helps me deal with the sadness I inevitably feel whenever I say goodbye to my mom and dad at the airport. There are so many ways that I do miss them. For me as a woman, the relationship I have with my own parents is still crucially important. I love them dearly and always will. I deperately wish that we could see one another whenever our hearts desire, that the distance between us were limited to minutes instead of days in a car. I know that they feel the same way about us, especially concerning their only grandchild whom they love passionately.

It's not easy living so far away from loved ones, but we manage the best that we can. Luckily, good things come from change, too, and I cherish the changes that Texas has brought about in me.

Virtual Great American Bake Sale

Even though traditional roles are changing, women still are the ones who are primarily responsible for nourishing the family. We plan the meals, we buy the food, we prepare the food and we serve the food. For some of us, this is a joy and for others it is just a chore. But for those mothers without income, it is a heartbreaking impossibility. Here is where we can put down the weapons of the "Mommy Wars" and help a fellow mother feed her family.

Cooking During Stolen Moments is hosting a Virtual Bake Sale today! They are a selling an ebook filled with recipes from the Virtual Great American Bake Sale participants (I am one of them!!). The books are now available for a donation of your choosing and all of the proceeds will go to Share Our Strength. So stop by and help to stop hunger today!!

Melanoma revisited

Some of you may remember that I posted about melanoma a couple of weeks ago. It is a disease that weighs heavily on my mind often. I have about on average one mole burned off or cut out of my skin every year. Recently, I just had my 25th mole removed. So far, I've been very lucky. All of my biopsies have come back completely normal.

My brother wasn't so lucky. When he was 27, he was diagnosed with stage three melanoma (there are only four stages). My family and I are very grateful that he was able to win his battle with skin cancer and is now a healthy 34 year old.

My brother and I both had tanned and burned a lot when we were younger, and each of us had one blistering burn before the age of 18. We didn't know at the time that even just one blistering burn as a child increases your chances of having melanoma as an adult by 50%.

In today's Houston Chronicle, I was dismayed to read an article about skin cancer and British women. It seems that melanoma is now the most common cancer in young British women. In England, the agency, Cancer Research United Kingdom, reports that melanoma has overtaken cervical cancer as the most common cancer afflicting women in their 20s.

The article goes on to say that these recent research results are particularly distressing, because rates of skin cancer are usually the highest in individuals over 75, not people in their 20s. Researchers there believe that melanoma will become the fourth most common cancer for both genders by the year 2024.

Not surprisingly, experts believe the rising trend in skin cancer cases is due to the use of tanning salons. And here is an amazing statistic that I didn't know: the intensity of UV rays in some tanning beds can be more than 10 times stronger than the midday sun. Scary.

When I was in my late teens, I remember many of my friends and other girls I knew flocking to tanning salons. I went a few times myself but didn't go as frequently as many other girls my age; I just never had the patience to lie there in those beds; plus my tendency toward claustrophobia didn't help either. I also hated the thought of resting my skin in the same spot as countless other females did mostly naked. (I am an anti-germ weirdo!) I'm thankful now that I had such an aversion to tanning salons.

There are so many aspects of our health that we can control, but all too often we are too lazy or just irresponsible and don't take simple measures to ensure healthy aging. With what we've discovered about skin cancer over the last decade or so, we now know that there are a few simple measures to avoiding melanoma: avoid too much sun exposure (especially midday sun), use sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15, and stay away from tanning salons.

Growing Up with a Hoarding Mom

Recently, the Today Show aired a show about excessive hoarding which caught my attention. It piqued my interest because my mom suffers from this disorder. I wrote about how we are dealing with it as a family on Happy to be at Home however, I wanted to explore the topic here as how it has affected me as a woman.

Growing up with a wounded parent is never easy. Her abanondment gave me a job from birth: to take care of her. So, that meant, she didn't take care of me. I never felt like I had a net, a soft place to fall or a place for advice. She was too wrapped up in her own pain to be there for me.

This isn't a story of woe. I wouldn't be the person I am today if she were a healthy woman. It's just magnified since she lives with us now and some of the anger and bitterness is still here. I don't know that it will ever go away but what made it easier was realizing that she really is mentally ill. It's almost like there was a reason for this maddness she made us live in and live with.

Join the Army!

Yes, that’s right! I’m shouting out to all women to join the army – the Army of Women. Have you heard about this yet? It’s an incredible movement, a collaborative effort between Dr. Susan Love, Avon, and scientists to find the cause of breast cancer once and for all in order to bring about an end to this terrible disease that brings about the death of about 40,000 women every year. The Army of Women’s goal is to find one million volunteers, adult women of any age, ethnicity, and all walks of life, to participate in scientific research studies involving breast cancer. Here is some information about the Army directly from their website:

When you register with the Army of Women, you are indicating your interest in learning about active research studies in need of volunteers. You will then receive email updates from the Army of Women announcing new research studies looking for volunteers just like you. The email will detail the research project and who and what the researchers need. If you fit the criteria and you’d like to participate, all you need to do is reply to the email and let us know you’ve accepted our “Call to Action.” If you accept the Call to Action, you will be contacted by an Army of Women staff member, who will make sure you meet the study criteria and answer any questions you might have about study participation. You will never be pressured to take part in any study. The decision to take part is yours — and yours alone. If you meet the study criteria and are interested in taking part, the Army of Women staff member will let you know what you need to do next.

I registered with the Army of Women a few months ago. My reasons for doing so include the fact that my mother had breast cancer at the age of 40 (and luckily came through it just fine) and I have a keen desire to make some kind of impact in helping to fight this insidious disease.

So far, the Army of Women has called all of its volunteers, which as of today number over 270,000 women, to action for about five studies. I have not fit the parameters for any of the studies yet and therefore have not been able to participate in any kind of research but I hope to do so some day. I do find that I feel great knowing that I’ve put myself out there as a volunteer, and even if my services can’t be used right now, I’ve offered them up to the organization; in doing so, I’ve taken a crucially important first step in helping scientists fight the battle against breast cancer.

I challenge you to do the same.

Check out the Army of Women’s website at: www.armyofwomen.org.

I.O.U.

At least two blog entries.

Somewhere between the two weeks of 12 hour days, the launching of a new graphics system and being pregnant - I am exhausted and out of time.

I swear.

But I've got a very specific topic on my mind right now, so if I get some time, I promise I'll throw it up here for discussion.

Sigh. =D