At Work, At Play or At Home All Day

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T18:27:00.003-05:00

Dear sister and friends who are moms - I hope you know how much I honor you this day. Lately, I have been putting forth more effort toward finding out why I have not been so fortunate to be a mother. I think part of my desire to be a mom comes from having such great examples in my life- in my own mom, my grandmother and aunts.

And you my dear sister even though at times you feel you could do better, you are doing beautifully. Your son knows he is loved and is curious, creative and smart (yes, I am bias, but, I can't help but pay a compliment when it is due on mother's day). I know you are still learning, but, no mother starts out knowing everything and one never stops learning. Even though I am not a mom- I hope you know this is true. I hope you enjoyed your day. It was nice spending time with you and mom and celebrating your day.

Be Here Now

2011-04-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

Dearest sister-

I think of you often. I am sorry that at times I don't have more than a few moments to post something for you so you understand how much I think about you and hope that you are well. My last few posts have been in the form of music because I know this is something you can relate to and often, musicians and lyracists have more of a nack for being able to put into words what I am thinking. I hope you do not mind.

Prior to my last post I heard this song and it was actually the one I had planned to use, but, I didn't want you to come away with that feeling on that particular day. Today I heard this song again as I was working and I thought of you. Perhaps, it is something you need to hear/read today:

Be Here Now, by Ray Lamontagne

Don't let your mind get weary
And confused your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy
Child, inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely
Child, it's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, be here now
Be, be here now, be here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be, be here now, be here now
Be, be here now, be here now

[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/ray-lamontagne-lyrics/be-here-now-lyrics.html ]

I love you! Call me if you need to.

Right there with you

2011-03-23T17:34:00.004-05:00

Hello my darling sister. I have thought of you often over the past couple weeks. I have been working many long hours the past few weeks so forgive me for not writing you earlier. Sometimes, when I get home at the end of a long day, I think about you. Your days must be even longer attending to the needs of a young one even when you are tierd. I can't say I fully understand, but, I hope you know that I am right there with you through it all. You can pick up the phone and call me when you need to and I will listen.

In the mean time, I hope these words keep you going. You introduced me to this song a few years ago and now every time I hear it, I smile and think of you.

Put Your Records On, by Corrine Bailey Rae

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Steer

2011-03-06T19:35:00.003-06:00

The first time I heard this song I thought of you my sister and my friends... I hope you know how much you are capable of if you just start out on that path one step at a time. I hope you take these words to heart:

Steer by Missy Higgins on iTunes

"Steer"

Feel it falling off like clothing
Taste it rolling on your tongue
See the lights above you glowing
Oh and breathe them deep into your lungs

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings
And you've had enough

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

So hold this feeling like a newborn
Of freedom surging through your veins
You have opened up a new door
So bring on the wind, fire and rain

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been played at a game called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

'Cos you've been listening for answers
But the city screams and all your dreams go unheard

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Year get out of the box and step into the clear
'Cos now you finally know you can steer

For My Sister with Love

2011-01-30T12:07:00.007-06:00

It has been several months since any of us posted on At Work, At Play or At Home All Day and for that we apologize to our 37 followers who probably don't exist any more. Turns out keeping up with a blog when people are only committed to contributing once a week seems to be even harder than those who commit themselves to nearly everyday when you don't have a specific goal in mind. Each year since we started this blog, I have started the year over with a renewed set of things to accomplish with hopes that I will achieve them since I am sharing them with friends and followers. This year, I have decided to do things a little differently; I will write about only one of them and by doing so I will hopefully accomplish it because I will be more focused on it. Now, I know this could be very narrow, but, I am hoping that if each of our contributors chooses one thing, in the end, our blog will be different because we have different ideas or goals in mind as we write.

When we started this blog a few years ago, we did have a purpose- to share with each other a bit of our daily lives and offer support as only women and friends can give in the joys and in the hard times at work, at play or at home all day. I have decided to write with this in mind, but, to do so instead for one specific person, so in the end the focus is the same. I have a sister who I love very deeply- we don't live too far apart, but, far enough away that we do not see each other more than once a month and sometimes less. We don't get to talk as much as we used to, but, I think about her constantly. It is not that we do not try, but, as every woman knows, life gets in the way. When we do talk it is only moments at a time and sooner or later a distraction pops up and we are going off in our different directions again.

My sister is a 30-something, single mother who also works fulltime, but, is considered part-time and so she has no benefits. Both she and my nephew, Andrew, have been living with my parents since he was less than a year and she and her ex got divorced. It is hard to believe how time flies, but, Andrew is now nearly four. Both of them have changed quite a bit over the years and so have my parents.

I know this is not necessarily the relationship or situation they each had in mind, but, they make it work and enjoy being there for eachother. Other times, however, I wonder if my sister feels like she is stuck and can't move forward. I see her waiting and wondering if she will be able to move on and be on her own with her child. Sometimes, I see her struggling with being a mother when it is hard and wishing that perhaps things were different. I see my parents struggle with being there for my sister and nephew; wanting to be supportive, yet finding themselves not only in the role of grandparents but also parents of my nephew. I know they love him being there, but, I can only imagine, it is not always easy to deal with a typical toddler when you are in your late 60s.

Meanwhile, I watch and I worry about all of them- wanting to help, but, not sure how I can when I am not even in the same city. I want to tell my sister that I understand, but, the truth is I can't really because my life is quite different and a whole lot easier. Who I am to tell her what to do because, if I were even in her shoes, who is to say that I would be any different.

I wonder how I can help without being too much of a big sister and not her friend. I want her to know how very strong she can be. I want her to know that she is a beautiful person with friends (and family) who know what she is capable of and the kind of person she is. There are so many things that she puts off because I think she is a little overwhelmed and doesn't know how to start moving forward. I can only be there for her and yet, I am not as much as I should be.

So, I have decided, that I am going to write with a new goal in mind- to let my sister know how much I love her and believe in her on a regular basis. Sometimes, I will send her love via a short message or a long note of support. Sometimes it maybe simply a photo or song of inspiration or gentle nudge, but, somehow, I hope I will get through to her. I will be the sister or friend I know I am capable of being even though I am not there.

Wow, It's Been Awhile- Catching up

2010-07-01T16:56:00.006-05:00

I am sorry we have been neglecting this blog, but, all three of us have been a bit caught up in our summers just as I am sure you have. I am glad to tell you that we have moved into our new home just this week! After 9 moves since college,now I am glad to say that I have a place that I intend to call home for a long time to come. (It has been 18 years; that is a move approximately every 2 years!).

I am also glad to write that the AVON Walk was a tremendous experience. I can't convey to you how emotional and rewarding it was to walk with so many people for one cause.
We had quite a bit of rain the first day and it was very hot, but, the 2nd was much cooler. My feet suffered a bit with blisters and fatigue, but, I told myself the following week that it is nothing compared to the pain of kemo. I am considering doing it again next year because it was such a positive experience and would gladly recommend it to anyone who wants to make a difference in this fight. Thanks to all of my supporters who helped me take part. Shari Silverman has won the gift certificate to Coopers Hawk Winery and Lisa Jorin won the personal mp3 player complete with a couple of motivating songs.

Happy 4th everyone - enjoy your holiday and I promise to rally the other girls and get back into it after the holidays barring any unforeseen circumstances;)

It's Here and I am Walking

2010-06-04T08:46:00.007-05:00

Sorry for missing my usual post day yesterday- it has been a busy 4-day week. I am happy to say that I met my fundraising goal for the AVON Walk for Breast Cancer tomorrow. I will be at Soldier field for the opening ceremony bright and early at 5:45am. The weather in Chicago is going to be cooler (low to mid 70s), but, rainy so I will be wet, but, somehow I don't think it will matter - at least not for the first 10 miles or so...

I will be walking with two good friends Kristin Hanson and Alicia Rivera along with our team mates, the Holy Apostles Pink Ribbon Angels who have raised more than $82,000 dollars for the cause this year. I want to give a big shout out to my supporters because I couldn't have done it without you. Anyone who wants to join me in this fight is still welcome to give even after the event. Go to http://www.avonwalk.org/goto/karimunoz My supporters will be entered into a drawing for one of two prizes- a brand new personal mp3 player complete with some empowering music that I will send to you or, for those of you in the Chicago area, a gift certificate for a wine tasting at Cooper's Hawk Winery and Restaurant. Visit the web site at http://www.coopershawkwinery.com
Other news- we close on our house in Chicago on Monday! For someone who has been moving every 2-3 years since she was 23(I am closing in on 40)this is big. Not only will I be a homeowner for the first time, but, I expect to be in the same place for quite some time. It is a relief and I can paint, redecorate, etc to my hearts content. Meanwhile, my husband Ben has been watching a lot of how to videos on the Internet and he only has a week and a half of school left so I say have at it... Have a good weekend!

Summer Indeed

2010-05-26T21:19:00.010-05:00

I love it for so many reasons:
1. open windows with cool summer breezes blowing through
2. beachfronts filled with sun loving people
3. summer festivals
4. vacation and national holidays
5. outdoor concerts
6. gardens in bloom
7. kids playing outside
8. the ice cream truck driving down our street
9. picnics and grilled burgers and brats
10. capris, sleeveless shirts and sandals
11. warm sunshine on my skin

This memorial day weekend, I will think of those who are fighting in foreign lands while I enjoy my summer day so freely walking along Chicago's lakeshore; one of my favorite places to relax. With only 9 days to go until my AVON Walk, I am excited for what the summer will bring. Hope this weekend brings you some fun and tranqulity as well.

Summer is Here!!

2010-05-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

It was HOT today here in Wisconsin. 90 degrees in May...unbelievable!! My garden is in gear and I am ready to put up that pool! I am thrilled...my skin is not.

My skin really takes a beating this time of year. I already have my summer feet. For three to four months, the bottom of my feet go from lily white to shall we say earth-toned. I will not feel dry until September from all the sun screen and moisturizer and bug spray. And my hair...forget about it. My mop will be a frizzy mess until Halloween.

So, here is to summer...I may be ugly but I am loving the weather:-)

Walking the Miles

2010-05-20T09:31:00.006-05:00

The past couple of months have been incredible- I have been preparing for my walk in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in June since March. When I started I was doing it mainly because I wanted to do something big to make a difference. Never did I guess it would benefit me personally in so many ways. I have met some dedicated women (and men) while working on fundraising events and training on Chicago's lakefront and in parks. My team mates, the Holy Apostles Pink Ribbon Angels have raised more than $70,000 for the cause and are 2nd in the nation. Many of them have completed the walk 2 or more times.

I also amazed at what my body can do- after walking 14 miles this weekend, I thought I would be a whole lot more sore, but, I am not. (Mind you, I was able to do this with the advice of my team mates). I am motivated to keep going so that I am able to complete the whole 26 (some women are walking 39, but, since it is my first year I opted for less).

Now that it is only two weeks away- I am looking forward to completing my journey for me and so many other women, but, I can't do it without your help. Go to http://www.avonwalk.org/goto/karimunoz to make a donation.

This is such an important cause to me because of the special people I have known who were directly affected by this disease. Thankfully, they were able to overcome it. Chances are that someone you know and love has been affected by it as well. This year, an estimated 40,000 women will die from the disease. Another woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 3 minutes and an estimated three million women are living with breast cancer. One million of them don't yet know it.

With the donations raised, the Avon Foundation will provide support and resources for women affected by this terrible disease. This will help people in our own community and throughout the country. Any amount you can give is great; I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Visit my personal webpage to make a donation and you will be entered into a drawing for one of two prizes:

A brand new personal mp3 player complete with some motivating music that I will send to you or, for those of you in the Chicago area, a gift certificate for a wine tasting at Cooper's Hawk Winery and Restaurant. Visit the web site at http://www.coopershawkwinery.com.

Thanks for your consideration! If you want to read more blogs about the AVON Walk experience, go to http://www.inittoendit.org/

How Was Your Mother's Day?

2010-05-10T15:04:00.002-05:00

Mine was great! I am soooooooo spoiled! My husband and younger daughter put together such a beautiful day. They made a gourmet breakfast together complete with mimosas and table clothes. I got flowers and chocolate and candles...they sure know me well. Then, we went out to lunch and back home for a gourmet dinner. And, I didn't have to lift a finger...

...until today. But you know what, I didn't even mind the extra dishes and extra laundry today. It didn't put me that far back and yesterday was so perfect, it didn't matter. Awesome!!

And, the gifts keep giving. As a mother, I have volunteered a lot at school this year. As such, I am being honored at the Volunteer Appreciation Breakfast tomorrow. I am going to soak this in because next year, I won't be eligible because...

I am going to be the Vice-President of the PTO. They saw me coming:-) But I love it.

Also tomorrow, I am going to be recognized as a leader for Girl Scouts with a nice dinner. How fun is that?

Who said motherhood is a thankless job?

I am in it to End It! Donate to Win a Personal mp3 Player

2010-05-06T09:15:00.005-05:00

I am pulling out all of the stops for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Chicago that I will be participating on June 5-6. It is a month away and I am stepping up my training. I walked nearly 10 miles this weekend again and will be walking everyday to get in shape and eventually make it to 13 miles two days in a row. With my hard work and your contributions, I will be able to accomplish my goal of walking 26 miles to make a difference. I can't do it without your help!

Visit my personal webpage to make a donation and you will be entered into a drawing for one of two prizes:

A brand new personal mp3 player complete with some motivating music that I will send to you or, for those of you in the Chicago area, a gift certificate for a wine tasting at Cooper's Hawk Winery and Restaurant. Visit the web site at http://www.coopershawkwinery.com

This is such an important cause to me because of the special people I have known who were directly affected by this disease. Thankfully, the women I know were able to overcome it. Chances are that someone you know and love has been affected by it as well; there's an estimated three million women living with breast cancer. One million of them don't yet know it.

With the donations raised, the Avon Foundation will provide support and resources for women affected by this terrible disease. This will help people in our own community and throughout the country. Any amount you can give is great; I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

You really do make a difference. Go to http://www.avonwalk.org/goto/karimunoz to find out more.

Annoyed Already

2010-04-20T13:35:00.003-05:00

Last week Thursday, I registered my son for Kindergarten. My son is still 5 months away from taking his first steps into his "big kid school," and I'm already annoyed. I am a teacher (12 years in public high schools and now 3 at a community college), and I fear I am going to be one of those parents who can't stop complaining, whose standards and expectations are high and who calls to complain every time those expectations are not met.

So, this is what happened...

First, I go to the district website the Tuesday prior to registration to download the 20+ pages of paperwork I have to fill out in order to register my child. The links to the paperwork don't work and I suspect it's a problem on my end. I call the school. No, it's a website problem and the links won't be up and running again before registration. So, unless I want to sit at the school the evening of registration for an hour and fill out the paperwork, I can pick up the papers at the school beforehand. Fine. I do this on that Tuesday with my son in tow. I ask the woman in charge of the registration paperwork if the registration evening which lasts from 4:30 to 7:00 is something to which I should bring my son or if I should leave him at home with Daddy. She tells me that they are trying to get some of the junior high kids to come to it to do some fun activities with the kids who are there, that there will be tours of the Kindergarten classrooms, and a video will be shown called, "A Day in the Life of a Kindergartner." That sounds like fun for my son, I say, and she agrees that it should be. I say I will bring him.

And I do. But it turns out that the only thing the school manages to get even remotely organized is the video. Other than that - no junior high kids, no fun activities, no tours of the classrooms. The video isn't even up and running yet the entire time I'm there, and it takes me an hour and a half to get through all of the registration stations. The event itself runs for less than 3 hours, and the video is not playing after an hour and a half. Hmmmm. I'm hoping our experiences at the school once my son becomes an official Kindergartner aren't always this disappointing.

So, I'm annoyed. I can't help it. My poor son had to stand there waiting in five different lines with me doing absolutely nothing for an hour and a half when he could have stayed home with his father.

But wait, there's more. I overhear one parent ask a staff member if parents can request one's child's teacher. The response: "No, but we try to match the children according to their personality and ability level with the appropriate teacher." I wonder how they do this when they don't even know my child. Then, though, at one of the stations, I'm given a questionaire to fill out about my child, about the activities he likes, his attention span, his abilities concerning shapes,numbers, letters, etc., and what his personality is like. I fill it out and include it with the rest of the paperwork in the folder. When I come home, I discover I've come home with this questionaire, that no one at 3 different stations had taken it from me. So, now I'm even more annoyed. Now, I have to call the school and find out whom I need to bring it to.

As long as I'll be on the phone with the school, I'm tempted to let them know just how I felt about the registration evening. But I don't know if I want to establish myself as one of the *those* moms already.

What would you do?

Did You Ever Get...

2010-04-19T19:24:00.002-05:00

...news that was so shocking but you couldn't share?? I did today...and I am dying!!!!

House Hunt Take 2

2010-04-15T11:02:00.005-05:00

Long time followings might remember that a couple of years ago before my husband and I moved back to Chicago from the southwestern suburbs that we started to look for a place to own. Fortunately, because of the housing market at that time (just prior to the downturn) and because of time constraints, we decided to put off buying until we were more certain of our jobs and the neighborhood we wanted to live in. I am glad we waited...

Now, that we are looking again we are finding that now we can actually look for a house with 2-3 bedrooms and 1.5-2 baths rather than an apartment or shack in a much better area than we would have just two years ago. Once again, I have learned that patience is a virtue. We haven't found our new place yet, but, there is a lot to choose from and it looks like we will have a new place by the end of the summer.

On that note, here is a song I want to share with you to celebrate the place that each of us calls home. Take some time today to enjoy your surroundings wherever they may be and share with us what you like most about your home...

Home - Jack Johnson

Happy Birthday Honey!!

2010-04-11T18:16:00.003-05:00

Today is my hubby's birthday:-)

It takes a real man to pull off this look:-)

We celebrated by cleaning our room and breezeway. Don't feel too sorry for him. He got love in the form of family and Susie's Pecan Pie:-)

Happy Birthday Honey! We love you very much!!

Nine Rooms of Happiness

2010-04-05T16:52:00.006-05:00

Recently, I was listening to a radio show called Chat with Women that features two women in the Seattle area who discuss various topics that interest women such as health, self-esteem, cooking, etc. Their guest, was Dr. Catherine Birndorf author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness – Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life’s Little Imperfections.

I thought I would share with you the podcast and the web site that explain the concept of letting go. I think it is true that we women do spend way too much time worrying about the little things or imperfections that we have rather than appreciating all the positive aspects of who we are. I found the concept easy to understand and apply.

Click here to listen to the March 30, 2010 podcast of Chat with Women. The interview with Dr. Birndorf occurs at 30:30.

You can also learn more at http://www.ninerooms.com/

Hope you enjoy

A Case of Catholic Guilt

2010-04-01T07:00:00.002-05:00

My friends and I were discussing plans for Easter weekend last week when I realized that I will spending the holy days Good Thursday and Friday at a Casino. I made fun of myself thinking, "Isn't that a sacreligous thing to do-I have certainly strayed from the Catholic school girl I once was." I know that there is at least one friend from my past that would most definitely condem me for it.

In truth, I am not that much of a gambler. My husband and I really looking forward to escaping from Chicago, taking a road trip with some good friends and getting a chance to relax and catch up with them for a few days. We do enjoy playing Black Jack together, so we figured why not... I only feel a slight case of Catholic guilt, but, with all of the things going on in the Catholic church more recently and over the last few years, who are they to throw stones?

As far as my spirituality goes, I must admit, I haven't been to church on a regular basis in some time. The last few years, I have been distracted and somewhat disappointed in the church communities I have encountered so I have strayed. This past weekend, my husband and I actually went to a non-denominational gathering. It was very different from anything I have been to and we decided that we would continue going. The music and the message were more relevant and you could tell people truly enjoyed being there. It was a nice change.

making visits to the doctor easier on our little ones

2010-03-25T10:09:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, my son and I went to his pediatrician for his 5-year old wellness checkup. Doctor Singh is a popular lady around these parts, so wait time at her office is always lengthy. After waiting for an annoyingly long time in the waiting room, we wait again for what seems like an eternity once we're in the examining room. My son handles these doctor visits as best as he can at his age. I always arrive at Dr. Singh's office armed with snacks, a few small toys, my son's Leapster, and some crayons and coloring books. Even with so many activities to choose from, my dear boy still gets restless all penned up in a small room with no windows for so long.

So, I'm wondering, what do you do to make visits to the doctor a bit easier for your young child? The best trick of the trade I've come up with so far is to let the rolled out paper on the examining table be my son's art canvas. Yesterday, he and I created a very detailed beach and underwater scene complete with (at his urging) a killer whale, a shark, an electrical eel, a Nemo fish, Dory, a palm tree with coconuts, and sunbathers. Dr. Singh was duly impressed that my son was familiar with so many sea creatures...and that the sunbathers had a bottle of sunscreen, SPF 70, sitting next to them in the sand. :-)

Empowering Music

2010-03-24T21:45:00.004-05:00

Listening to music that makes me feel empowered is something I truly enjoy. Although winter appears to be leaving us, I feel I have needed a little encouragement lately, so I started a new playlist of empowering songs on LaLa.com. I love collecting and listening to songs that empower women to achieve and endure in their own special way. Here are the first songs I added that came to me off the top of my head... feel free to suggest some for my list.

1. You Learn, by Alanis Morissette
2. Everyday Is A Winding Road by Sheryl Crow
3. Amazing [Thin White Duke Edit] by Seal
4. Stronger Woman by Jewel
5. Say by John Mayer
6. Chances by Five For Fighting
7. Brand New Day (Album Version) by Sting
8. Bring on the Day by Charlotte Martin
9. Falling Down by Avril Lavigne
10. Weight Of The World by Chantal Kreviazuk
11. Free Me by Joss Stone
12. Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
13. One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks
14. Steer (Album Version) by Missy Higgins

What Should I Do With My Hair

2010-03-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

I am going through a mid-life crisis. I am turning 40 in 2 and a half months. I haven't dropped the weight I have wanted to lose. I don't have enough money to throw myself a great party. I got an application for AARP. My doctor asked me if I had experiences hot flashes yet. And, I am on two inhalers (one of which I have to gargle after so I don't get throat fungus!). I am a pathetic mess and I need a change.

I want to cut my hair...off!! It's thick, it's hot (with hot flashes coming hot is the last thing I want my hair to be) and it takes to long to do. So, here is what I look like now:

And here is what I am looking at doing:

So, what do you think? Which one?

Our Apples Aren't Keeping the Doctors Away

2010-03-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

You know the saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"? Well, we eat our apples but our doctors are still on speed dial!!I know I have been talking a lot about health (or lack there of) lately but I am just so frustrated right now.

I am frustrated with myself. I haven't had an asthma attack in 10 years and one little bronchitis later and I am huffing and puffing on my inhaler like there is no tomorrow.

I am also frustrated with my youngest's health right now. This is the third round of antibiotics that she has been on THIS YEAR!! Yikes!! The pediatrician said that there isn't anything to worry about. She has missed 8 days of school this year...10%!! If I were paying tuition, I would want 10% of my money back.

So, here are some questions for the masses...how much school has your kids missed this year? Is it me or is this the worst year ever for colds?

I am now a "Pink Warrior"

2010-03-11T00:00:00.002-06:00

Sorry, about not posting the last couple of weeks. I had a case of cabin fever that had me down in the dumps and I didn't want to take any readers along with me so I took a break. This week Chicago temps hit 40 degrees for the first time in awhile and the sun melted not all but a good amount of the snow, so I think I am on my way to recovery.

The other event that got me out of my funk was attending the AVON Walk for Breast Cancer Expo in Chicago this past weekend and registering to become a participant. I am excited and proud to have made this commitment for family and friends as well as other women. I am looking forward to the journey.

According to the American Cancer Society (2009):
1. A woman living in the U.S. has a 1 in 8 chance of developing breast cancer in her life time.
2. A new case of breast cancer is diagnosed every3 minutes.
3. Breast cancer kills nearly 41,000 people a year (1 every 13 min)
4. Progress has been made in diagnosis and treatment, but, no one knows the cause, or how it can be prevented, and there is no known cure.
5. Men can get breast cancer too.

You can read more blogs about the upcoming walks in cities around the country over the coming months as well as view videos and posts about past walks at http://www.inittoendit.org/

For more information about participating or the event itself visit avonfoundation.org, armyofwomen.org or The American Cancer Society

Spring has Sprung but...

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

...where am I? Sick as a dog:-(

There is nothing worse than having a gorgeous day outside and being stuck inside because you have been sick all week. No fun:-(

I am so frustrated with my health. Everytime I have a good workout routine going, literally every 30 days, I get sick....without fail!!! Any ideas on how to break the cycle?

An Ode to a Crashing Computer

2010-03-01T00:00:00.001-06:00

My computer hit the dust

And now I am lost.

I have to fix quickly

No matter what the cost.

I am so far behind

I can not see the light.

A To Do list longer than my arm,

With no end in sight.

So remember me fondly

When you come around.

I will be looking for my sanity.

In the lost and found.

Is It March Yet?

2010-02-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

I am so over the cold.

I am so over the snow.

I am so over the doctor's appointments.

I am so over the pomp and circumstance of the birthday season.

I am so over it.

Tears and more Tears

2010-02-17T21:01:00.002-06:00

I admit it- I am sucker when it comes to sappy sad movies. I am pathetic, especially when it comes to seeing a child crying about something truly sad such as the loss of a parent or something similar. I cry when the characters are sad and I even get teary when they are happy if the movie is a good one. There are several movies that have been out some time I have avoided almost certainly because I know they could potentially have me in tears. Depending on how you feel about crying (I happen to think that sometimes it is a good thing and you just need to once in awhile) I would/would not recommend going to see the following two movies any time soon.

I should mention that I actually liked them both a great deal, but, as previously stated, they are emotional. The one I would recommend in any case is Extraordinary Measures. It is currently in theaters and stars Brandon Fraser, Harrison Ford and Keri Russell. The movie is based Geeta Anand's book, The Cure, which is a true story from about a family with two kinds that have Pompe disease. I won't ruin it for you, but, the whole movie is very inspiring, but, of course there are some tears to be shed; both happy and sad. Harrison Ford was better than I have seen him in awhile.

This past weekend my husband was nice enough to rent The Time Traveler's Wife for Valentines Day. Both he and I liked the storyline a great deal because it made you think about what your own life would be like if you could travel that way or know what would happen in the future. The only hard part was when they were trying to have a child. If you are trying and there is even the slightest chance you might not be able to have a child, this could be a little hard for you to watch. Needless to say, by the end of the movie I was in tears. At least I know I won't have the obstacle of a baby who is time traveling out of the womb. Regardless, I was still happy my husband is willing to view such films with me on occasion and he is even willing to lend a shoulder if necessary. For this, I am grateful.

Carlisle

2010-02-16T10:33:00.006-06:00

Long time, no see! I have neglected my blogging duties terribly these last several months. Thanks to Sue and Kari for keeping things alive and kicking around here! I was really overwhelmed by the holiday season this year. Trying to keep myself organized with getting ready for Christmas and ending the semester at two schools which I work at part-time really did me in. And just when the new year arrived and things should have settled down, my son turned 5 and there were more presents to buy and celebrations to plan. When I finally came up for air, my semester at the community college started again and so I dove right back into syllabi, lesson planning, and teaching. Whew!

It doesn't stop there. On Sunday, my son got a big Valentine's Day surprise. A new dog! His name is Carlisle. He's a poodle-terrier mix whom we purchased from the Poodle Rescue of Houston. So far, we are already reaping the many benefits of having a dog in the family. Our exercise routine went up a notch immediately! We are taking at least two walks a day with Carlisle in addition to some pretty active playtime with him indoors as well. My son has enthusiastically taken several chores upon himself: feeding Carlisle and holding onto his leash for much of the time that we walk him. Valuable lessons concerning responsibility are being learned. We are also simply enjoying laughing and playing together with our new addition to the family!

Here is a picture taken on Valentine's Day of me with Carlisle at the shelter when I picked him up to bring him home.

I Lost My Husband Yesterday

2010-02-15T00:00:00.002-06:00

My husband has been counting down the days. There is ringing in his ears, the smell of burning rubber in his nose and his heart beats just a little bit faster.

No...he isn't having a cardiac episode...The Daytona 500 aired yesterday. So, although he is alive and kicking, I will be a widow until Thanksgiving:-)

Family and Good Memories

2010-02-10T16:39:00.006-06:00

I've had two really nice weekends the past two weeks. This past weekend a good number of my mother's family got together for the first time ages. My crazy uncle Fred had his living room filled with an inflatable palm tree and tropical animals that included a shark, a crab, an octopus and parrot. The house was nearly filled to capacity and we had a blast. It made me miss the old days when we used to get together more often. Some of the people who were there I hadn't seen since my wedding nearly four years ago and that is truly sad. Before the day was through my uncle and all of the children donned hula skirts and he went so far as to add a sea shell bra. Sorry I don't have the photos to share, but, when I do, I will be posting them on Facebook. I am hoping this past weekend was a turning point for our family since we did have such a nice time, perhaps, we will do it more often.

After leaving my uncles, I drove home to Chicago to find my husband had cleaned our apartment like a mad man in my absense. Not only had he done the dishes and took out the garbage, but, he did loads and loads of laundry, straightened up the living room and vacuumed. Needless to say, I was in heaven and told him thank you for the early Valentines gift. I also felt a little guilty about my last blog which I doubt he read. In fact, I am pretty sure he did it all on his own.

The previous weekend my husband and I celebrated two memorable events in our lives. His birthday (Happy 36th hun if you are reading this!) and the anniversary of our very first date. To celebrate, we went to a place called Uncommon Ground that features different musicians on a nightly basis and an excellent menu. The performances are free so long as you eat and drink a minimum of $20 which is a bargain for the Chicago area and the talent is good most of the time. We saw singer, songwriter Lexie Shine whose sound is similar to and nearly as gifted as Melissa Ethridge. Her song "Between You and Me" was a VH1 Song of the Year. Seeing someone who can play music well and enjoys what they do is my most favorite thing in the world. I can't get enough of it.

This time of year is usually a little hard for me since, like most Midwesterners, I get a little depressed that spring is still a couple months away. The past two weeks reminded me that I am truly lucky to have the family and the husband that I have. I hope those of you who read this are just as blessed.

Happy Birthday Baby

2010-02-06T19:37:00.005-06:00

This is my newly annointed 6-year-old!!

She is my heart walking the earth and I love her more than words can say! Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Ok...She Can Pull the Knife Out Now!

2010-02-01T00:00:00.001-06:00

It has happened...already! The other day my youngest daughter said to me:

"Mom, you know, you don't have to walk me to the end of the driveway anymore. I am brave enough to go on my own."

"What??? No way!!"

"If you aren't brave enough, you can watch from the house or the garage."

"What?? No way!!!"

She is in kindergarten, ya'll!! Kindergarten!! I knew this day would come but, I thought I had at least a couple years before THIS would happen!

I am not read for this. I still need the "hand-off". I need to take my baby and look the bus driver in the eye and make small talk and all the while really saying, "I am entrusting my flesh and blood to you now. I relinquish control. Please be careful with my heart."

I cannot and will not do this! I still need the hand-off. And if that means that it takes her a little bit longer to grow up then, so be it. Just give me some time. I will get there. Just not yet...ok?

So, she can pull that knife out of my heart now. It ain't happenin'!

Progress in New Years Resolutions...0

2010-01-27T22:43:00.003-06:00

My New Year's resolutions this year were to cook more, use my Wii Fit at least twice a week and manage my time better, so that I can get more out of my life. So far this year, I am 0 for 3. It appears that the third resolution directly affects the other two since working late nearly every night for the past three weeks has me getting home at 7 or later each night too exhausted to cook. I have also been putting in overtime on the weekends.

I have managed to go to the gym a couple times a week (I am getting back up to 3 this week) but the Wii fit is supposed to be my routine on the days that I don't go. And tonight's blog is compliments of the dishes that have been sitting in the sink since Sunday evening that will probably be there until Saturday. I know if I had kids there is no way this would do, but, aside from waking up tomorrow morning earlier than 5:30 (if I take the bus) or 6 if I sleep in and drive, I am not sure what else I can do. I am talking to my boss tomorrow, hopefully this will help. Keep your fingers crossed.

Note the time of this post- I think sleep is going to win! Dishes will have to wait until this weekend when I get the house ready for the inlaws and celebrating my husband's birthday.

Senario of Defeat

2010-01-25T00:00:00.003-06:00

Sunday: Power Outage...for the third time in 5 weeks.

Monday: I move mountains and align moons to get my mom to a rescheduled doctor's appointment on my youngest daughter's day off from school. We get there in plenty of time only to be told that the appointment is for next Monday. Ah...no...no it's not! These people don't understand how delicate my calendar is. I KNOW the appointment was for this Monday. They screwed up but it is my time that gets wasted.

Tuesday: I wake to find that younger daughter has slept in her own vomit. So, the nice little two loads of laundry I was going to do has multiplied into 5 (it went over EVERYTHING!) But, I somehow get it all done before she returns home from school. I even make a healthy and tasty dinner for the family. I then contently drive off to the school for a PTO meeting. NO ONE is there!! I get home and recheck the bulletin and sure enough...Tuesday, January 19th in room 201. Oh no there wasn't!! Oh and then, same daughter tells me she just spilled juice all over the sheets and comforter and EVERYTHING that I just spent ALL morning cleaning for her!!!!!

So tell me, what does a normal person do in reaction to spewing children and disrespectful people who waste your precious time? Do you know what I do? I eat. And so I did. Fail:-(

P.S. I am writing this on Tuesday night. In the event that more such frustrations are presented to me this week, by the time you read this, I will be shaking in the corner with a shit-eating grin framed by cake sharpnel and massive twitching. I should not be held responsible for my actions:-)

Can You Nag Without Nagging?

2010-01-22T04:23:00.004-06:00

After more than three years, I still haven't mastered this one. When it comes to trying to get my husband to remember to call to make an appointment to go to the doctor or take out the garbage, we seem to have a problem. I hate doing it, it makes me feel like his mom. There are occasions when he thinks of things on his own, but, housework and going to the doctor are usually not usually one of them and it drives me batty sometimes.

I would love to come home at the end of the day and not feel guilty that the dishes haven't been done or the cat's litter boxes haven't been cleaned for a couple days. Sometimes I am successful in getting him to tell me to reinind him and he promises he won't get mad. But then, it starts all over again the next week.

The health issue has really got me in a tif this week because he is having back problems and I am reasonably certain he has some pinched disks or worse. He hasn't seen a regular doctor in years, so a specialist is even more unlikely. He asks me if I think he might have a kidney infection because his sides hurt as well (but he doesn't have any of the other symptoms and I am not a doctor, I explain). This is the 2nd time in a couple of months, he has been dealing with this off and on through the years and he still won't go. Any advice?

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 3

2010-01-16T20:38:00.002-06:00

So, a habit forms for one reason but perpetuates for another. Since I have established that my eating disorder originated with my mother, now I need to figure out why it continues. The easy answer: it works. When I feel anxiety, I eat. When I feel unsecure, I eat. Whenever I do anything, I eat. I have to train my brain to shift 30 years of thinking and feeling in order to be successful.

How do I do that? Replace with one behavior with another. I have also found that I am an obcessive tracker. I track everything. I track my schedule. I track my stats on my blog. I track my income. So so, I am tracking my stats. I track my calorie intack and out take. I am working on the Wii which is a trackers dream and I am tracking my steps on my I-touch with a .99 cent application (Burn Fat). I have decided that my obcessive complusive behavior will finally serve me well.

And how is it going? Well, I have lost 6 pounds since the 10th!! Go Susie go! I will get you out of that fat girl yet:-)

Pain- one of life's challenges

2010-01-14T08:36:00.002-06:00

Last week I began my work out routine with a renewed energy that I hadn't had in weeks. Perhaps, it had to do with a good Christmas and New Years and a renewed optimism. Perhaps it had to do with all the new people who had joined my fight and were working out and walking along side me at the gym. This time of year is always remarkable to me because it is crazy busy every where you go- the gym is more crowded with people trying to put forth a good effort on the new years resolution, people are volunteering more, people are taking more classes towards their career or for relaxation... it is inspiring. Hopefully, the trend will continue.

Having recently graduated from working with my trainer, I was looking forward to developing my own routine and determining a new diet that might get me better results. I have been to the doctor and realized that perhaps what I was eating was good for some people who wanted to lose weight, but, not all components were helping me with other problems in my body such as a hormone imbalance. I am still working on this.

Then it happened. I hurt my shoulder working out; more specifically my rotator cup. Like any novice athlete I shrugged it off and thought I could deal with the pain. I had problems before so perhaps I could just return to doing some of the physical therapy exercises I had been taught and ice and heat it occasionally until it felt better. The last two nights, however, it has gotten progressively worse as I sleep. I barely got three hours of rest last night, so I am headed to the clinic to check it out and get some better pain meds. I am praying this is just a hiccup. I don't want anything to deter me from being able to get back in the swing after the new year. It seems that just when you think you have it down, life throws a little (or big) challenge your way. I am determined not to let it get the best of me.

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 2

2010-01-11T00:00:00.001-06:00

What happens to a young girl when she witnessed the actual crushing of her mother's spirit? A big hole forms in her center that she can never fill. Not with men. Not with drugs. Not with alcohol and not with food.

That is how my unnatural relationship with food began. I knew at that moment that I no longer had a mother. I knew that I was going to have to figure everything out on my own. I would never have a soft place to fall again. I knew that things would never be right. That I would never be right.

I found myself alone in my room sobbing over a tough day at school. But then, I remembered the Ding Dongs in the cubboard and I downed the box. The smell of the chocolate was soothing. My troubles seemed to float away as the soft cakes melted in my mouth. The hug I needed on the outside was replaced by swallowing the soft cakes; like a hug inside.

But as swiftly as the love came, is how fast it left. Soon after the consumption, I was on the cold tile floor, returning the Ding Dongs from wence it came. Even their comfort came at a price. Why does everything have to be so hard?

New Year- New Plans Version 2

2010-01-06T17:45:00.007-06:00

Progress on the most important things in life doesn't always move at lightening speed. It takes small steps and patience. Being patient is something I have gotten better at this past year. It's 2010 and as I look back at my list of new years resolutions from last year, I can't help but, be a little disappointed that things have not moved at a faster pace than I would like.

The following has been changed from what was originally published on Wednesday. I am happy to say that my cold is much better and so is my attitude: Instead of taking stock in the things that did not happen, I am going to take stock in the things that have. I am eating healthier breakfasts, lunches and snacks than ever befor - less processed and more natural foods including fruits and vegetables. I managed to lose 10 pounds and build more muscle. And now, I actually enjoy working out. I work out three to four time a week lifting weights, walking/sprinting, and doing yoga. It is something that my husband I enjoy doing together. My friend Janet is also sometimes along for the ride. I used to work with a trainer who really got me started, but, this year I am determined to prove that I can do this on my own.

Making dinner is a little harder since most nights I do not get home until closer to 7pm. The days I work out, we don't cook because its usually after 9. The days I don't work out, we still don't cook often enough... This is what I am going to work on this year- better meal planning, slow cooking, cooking on weekends, and finding things that my husband and I can and want to prepare following a day in the glamorous land of cubicles and computers or a day in front of K-3rd graders who just want to be outside (whichever the case may be.) Does anyone have any suggestions for cook books that will be helpful in this endeavor? And don't just tell me Rachel Ray- there has got to be more out there!

How the Fat Girl Ate Susie: Part 1

2010-01-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

I remember the day she gave up. She was sitting on the couch, exhausted from taking care of everyone all day. He came home and belittled her because the kid's toys weren't picked up.

"What do you do all day?", he snapped. Cliche now; the straw that broke a mother's spirit then. He didn't know the venom in his words.

She didn't say a word but, you could actually see the shift in her. The white flag of defeat was waving in her eyes. The weight of the world fell off her shoulders. The jovial laugh that shook the house with joy was silenced for good. It was then she resolved to do nothing. It was to show him her value. The problem was she became her resolution; she was nothing.

Nothing was her safe place. If she did nothing, she would not be required to engage anyone. If she didn't engage with anyone, she wouldn't get hurt. But it wasn't enough to do nothing. There had to be a mechanism in which to cope.

Food as her drug of choice. It couldn't be cigarettes or alcohol. Those were his vices and they were dispicable. But food...food was her friend. Food was always there. Food was socially acceptable. Food would always make her feel better. Food numbed the pain.

And so, she stayed on that couch...the couch where the surrender was made. And it was there the legacy began...

So Long 2009, 2010 is Nearly Here

2009-12-30T16:00:00.009-06:00

I am sorry I neglected our blog this past month. I had an early case of the winter blues which would have resulted only in dribble so consider yourselves lucky. Too much work and no play makes for a very boring blog I know. By the time I shook myself out of it, there was only a week to go before Christmas which resulted in more than enough stress for the whole month jammed into one week. Talk about not heeding your own advice!

The good news is I got my act together in time to enjoy the holiday with both our families together at our place.

Luckily, we had decided to go non-traditional with our meal and ordered pizzas ahead of time, so we could just put them in the oven. This made more sense for us since we really didn't have room for 12 people to sit down at tables. It also allowed everyone to just keep enjoying each other's company rather than being squeezed in the kitchen trying to do last minute cooking, etc.

Our memories of the evening included a surprise visit from Santa for my nephew (my husband Ben), the arrival of my brother in law's girlfriend who was supposed to be in California and lots of laughter and fun.

Now, I am looking forward to a New Year's Eve with friends including the girls from the blog who haven't been all together in one place since this time last year. I know we will have lots to talk about. Although 2009 was a pretty good year, I am anxious to continue making more progress on what I started. Sue, you and I can work on continuing to change our lifestyles together. My goals include incorporating ways to plan and shop for our meals, so that we do more of our own cooking during the work week. I know you could probably help me with this. And perhaps, I could help you with putting a routine together that includes some techniques for strength training as well as cardio? One step at a time of course! We can talk more about it tomorrow night:)

As for our readers, I just wanted to say thanks for sticking with us through another year. We hope you had a wonderful holiday as well and that you are looking forward to your own joys and successes to come At Work, At Play and At Home in 2010.

Where Did We All Go?

2009-12-20T19:14:00.002-06:00

It looks like we all let our December get away from us! If your month has been anything like mine, I can see why! I got carried away with baking and shopping and wrapping and planning and volunteering and celebrating my daughter's return from Spain. Ok...with the exception of the last one, that pretty much sums up everyone's month:-)

With the holiday finally upon us, I plan on enjoying every moment with my family. However, I am looking forward to the new year. At that time, I will be starting a new series called, "How the Fat Girl Ate Susie". It is my attempt to get a handle on what is eating me so I can stop eating. I am hoping that it is an interesting and useful self-examination.

So until then, I hope you all have a very, very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year:-)

Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman

2009-12-01T10:01:00.003-06:00

The holidays are a time to take stock of our lives and be thankful for all of our many blessings. This year, the season has also been a reminder to me of the inherent strengths that we women possess when we are able to harness the simple power of a positive attitude.

Every family faces its own battles, its own crises. Sometimes, those struggles are enough to really knock us down for the count, to bring about a negative attitude or even depression. I know I've certainly been there. Whether it's financial worries, marital issues, parenting concerns, health problems or a plethora of other difficulties knocking on our front door, our daily life struggles can be downright overwhelming.

Both sides of our family struggle with virtually all of those same issues as well. Divorce, drug addiction, Alzheimer's, financial crises, depression. Yeah, we seem to have it all covered. Yet, this past week I reveled in the fact that I smiled and laughed more than I had in quite a long time. And, for the most part, it was thanks to the women in my husband's family.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at my in-laws' home. (My family is out of state. We'll whoop it up with them for Christmas.) The entire clan was there. My husband has two older sisters, one of whom lives near us and the other flew into town with her two kids.

It's funny how the heart of a home is often times its kitchen. Perhaps this is an old fashioned attitude, but it's one that I still believe to be true, at least for my family. Whenever my husband's family is all together, we gather at my in-laws for a wonderful meal that we all contribute to. While it's being prepared, we women gather in the kitchen and tell our stories. Our stories of success, of failure, of laughter, of tears. Stories that have been told time and time again or perhaps for the first time. I guess it's a kind of oral tradition. Our 20-year old niece has been joining us in the kitchen for many years now, and our 13-year old niece chose to spend much of her time with us for the first time this year instead of playing with her little sister and my son. A woman's life lessons are passed from generation to generation, with my 78-year old mother-in-law at the helm. And as we cook, we laugh and chatter, our smiles encouraging more smiles and more laughter, lifting each other up and lighting up the room with hope and promise for the future.

Domestic Super Bowl

2009-11-30T00:00:00.001-06:00

Over the Thanksgiving season, we had lot's of time to watch educational TV. One in particular struck a cord with me. It discussed the history of the holiday. When we got to the Rockerfeller age, they pontificated that being a housewife and mother was a thankless job. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when women could parade all their skills to the delight of the entire family.

Really? So that makes Thanksgiving, my superbowl. And if it that is true, I stuck the landing:-) (I guess that is an inappropriate sports reference but it sounded good right?)

Don't Stress About The Holidays and Shopping...

2009-11-25T11:01:00.014-06:00

I have been waiting for this Thanksgiving break for weeks and finally it is here. It's my chance to get away from all the craziness at work, take a breath and relax with family and friends and get ready for the Christmas holidays. With visitors coming tomorrow, I have lots to do today so I am hitting the dishes, the laundry, the polishing, and the errands with zest... wait wasn't this supposed to be a break? Feeling a little overwhelmed I just sat down to take a breath at the computer and found this worthwhile article to assure me that Stress Free Holidays is a possibility.

I also found what I was looking for to get my online holiday shopping started so I thought I would share several of the links from a terrific web site for meaningful and inventive Christmas gifts:

Best Guide for Surviving Black Friday

Gifts for the Hard to Buy Types

Where to Find the Best Inexpensive Christmas Gifts

Meaningful Christmas Gifts- Giving Gifts in a Loved One's Name

Handmade Gift Giving Ideas

Top 5 Christmas Gifts for Women Under $25

Best Places to Buy Online Gifts for Men

Electronic Christmas Gifts for Men that Fit All Budgets

5 Holiday Gifts You can Make with Digital Photos

Here is an article for you Susan: Best Christmas Gifts for Autistic children

My new passtime lead me to this unique story Christmas Gifts for Yogis

I found all of these and more on the Associated Content's Holidays page.

Now it's back to work. Hope this helps. Happy Holidays ladies...

HUGE History

2009-11-23T00:00:00.000-06:00

HUGE history was made this week.

Oprah annonced that she is calling it quits after her 25th season. I have been a HUGE fan for ALL of those years. I knew this day would come but, I don't know that I am ready:-) I mean, I was a Junior in high school when she started. My oldest daughter will be a Junior in college when she's done. That's a lifetime!

Jimmy Johnson won his 4th consecutive championship in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. This is something that has NEVER been done before. We are HUGE NASCAR fans and so this is a HUGE deal in our house. Seeing someone do the impossible makes me want to do better in my own life.

A Scary Predicament

2009-11-19T08:46:00.006-06:00

I had very mixed emotions after hearing about the recommendations of the United States Preventative Services Task Force against mammograms for women ages 40-49 and women over 50 should only have mammograms every two years. My first reaction was fear that insurance companies will now use this as an excuse to change their policies for coverage of mammograms prior to age 50. I have heard way too many stories of women prior to age 50 who had been diagnosed with breast cancer to feel good about this.

I was relieved to hear that the American Cancer Society and the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology were not supportive of the new guidelines and hopeful that insurance companies would listen to experts who have been studying cancer for years. In fact, a review of various clinical trials by the Oregon Health and Science University found that mammograms for women ages 40-49 reduced deaths from breast cancer by 15% (Lichtenfeld, 2009). That is a significant number in my eyes.

A friend of mine had the insight to say that perhaps this was a political move by Republicans who would quickly take issue with the proposed government health care plan setting this as an example of what happens when the government gets involved. And sure enough, that is what has happened since Tuesday.

As a woman who will turn 40 next year, I was not looking forward to routine mammograms each year, but, I did feel better knowing that it would be one more assurance of staying healthy. Now, I feel stranded knowing that if I want to be tested I will likely have to pay for it myself in the future. The end result will probably be not getting tested nearly as often or perhaps not at all. And that is a scary predicament. It is even more so for women who have a history of breast cancer in their family, but do not have enough money or the coverage for a routine physical let alone paying for a mammogram. Let's keep our fingers crossed this won't happen.

Generally Annoyed by Ignorance

2009-11-15T20:12:00.003-06:00

I recently attended a state funding panel discussion at my local school district. Since I have absolutely no political background, I thought it would educate me in how my child's school is paid for. Oh, I was educated alright!

I learned that our state spreads out our tax dollars in a three-tiered system: Primary, Secondary and Tertiary. Since our district is considered "property wealthy" we only qualify for primary funding from the state. So, we pay taxes for all three but only take out taxes for one of the tiers. Conversely, Milwaukee recieves funding for all three tiers. Ok...it is the classic "fortunate taking care of the less fortunate." I get that.

The second thing I learned is how completely naive and downright ignorant some of the people in this area are. One woman raised her hand and asked the senator, "That doesn't seem fair?" The state constitutional promises equitable education. Equitable doesn't mean fair. Naive. She then went on to prove her ignorance by saying, "We work hard all our lives. We have made all the right decisions and followed the right paths to buy houses in good school districts. We should be rewarded, not punished for that."

Ok...so, the people in Milwaukee public school districts don't work hard? They haven't made the right decisions in their lives? They haven't followed what you consider the "right path"?

Now, I don't claim to have all answers on how to run the world however, I do know enough to not assume anything about anybody. Does anyone else find this statement to be highly offensive?

Holiday Stress

2009-11-09T00:00:00.001-06:00

The crush of the holidays is upon us and for some reason, I find myself more stressed about it than usual. I think it is because I am in unchartered territory of being a new elementary school mom. That has really distracted me away from my normal holiday trance.

I am working hard to establish myself as a useful entity in the school. I volunteer often in the classroom (twice in the classroom plus a field trip and that is just this week). I am co-leading my daughter's Daisy troop and I have showed up at nearly every PTO meeting that was held this year. I am also co-chairing the bake sale. I said to my husband, "Can I get a show of hands of those who really thought I wasn't going to chair this my first year?" He said that he was sitting on his hands:-)

It is possible that I am biting off more than I can chew however, I am having a blast. I didn't get to do any of this with my older daughter. I almost feel like the more I help at school, the more I am healing that wound. So, it isn't stressful at all.

What is freaking me out is that it is November 9th and I don't have my Thanksgiving menu set yet!! By this time last year, I had 6 pies and 48 rolls nestled in my freezer waiting for the big event. This week is a wash so...think of me in a frenzy next week as I struggle to pull this holiday out of the ashes of my own procrastination.

I neglected my family

2009-11-08T15:47:00.010-06:00

...for 10 days while reading the Twilight series. Wow, was I ever sucked into that story. When a friend of mine suggested I read it and handed over all four of her books, I was somewhat doubtful about a sojourn into YA literature. As a 39 year old woman, I figured I wouldn't enjoy teen lit enough to invest the time required of the series, seeing as book four alone is 700-some pages. The only reason I really even agreed to do so was that I was a big Anne Rice fan when I was in my teens and 20s, and, to this day, Bram Stoker's Dracula is still on the list of my absolute favorite works of literature. So, I guess you could say I'm kind of into vampires.

As I began reading Twilight, the story immediately appealed to me. I loved the first person narration by Bella. Despite the simplicity of the writing, I was drawn into her emotional world and could easily relate to her vulnerabilities and feelings toward Edward - many of them seemed similar to my own when I was a teenager and involved with boyfriends in high school. Throughout much of the series, I also thought Bella's strengths were an important appeal to female teen readers. Being a feminist at heart, I cheered on author Stephenie Meyer as I read. Ok, sure, Bella is awkward and has some self esteem issues, but she's definitely her own person, walks to the beat of her own drummer in many regards, is certainly portrayed as an intelligent young woman who takes her academics seriously, and makes important decisions for herself without folding under the pressure of others' opinions. Plus, she has the two bad boys of the series, the vampire and the werewolf, wrapped around her finger in no time.

At the same time, as I progressed through book three and book four, I started to get a little pissed off at Meyer. She had done such a great job in the first two books with portraying a nice, healthy dose of morality and feminism for her teen readers. Edward and Bella hold off from having sex until they are married. But wait a minute - what's the deal with Bella getting married while still in her teens??? And then having a baby to boot??? Not exactly what I was expecting from Meyer at that point, and I was pretty disappointed about it too. We never see Bella go to college as Edward so fervently wishes for her to do. Instead, before she's even 20, she's married, has a kid, and becomes a vampire, basically foregoing all of the choices for her future and settling down into the cottage behind her in-laws' house. Hmmm. Not exactly my idea of the the kind of life I'd imagine a young, bright woman of the 21st century would lead. And if I had a daughter who went down that same path (minus the vampire part, of course), I'd be FURIOUS, not giddy with joy like Bella's mother. My own parents would have disowned me had I made the same choices.

So, Meyer, shame on you! What's up with the turnaround?

Seeing Your Fat Ass on TV

2009-11-02T00:00:00.001-06:00

...is great motivation for getting back into your workout routine after the flu:-(

For those of you that don't know, I compete in Iron Cupcake challenges here in Milwaukee. This summer, a local food show called Wisconsin Foodie filmed me and two other bakers preparing for our sugary battle. Today, it aired and my large ass (in all it's glory) was the only thing I saw. Nice triple chin too:-(

And so, it is back to getting up at 5 a.m. in front of the DVD player to walk my pounds away. Luckily, I didn't gain back any of my 10 pound loss from September however, I didn't lose more in October either. So, come on November!!! Make me fabulous for 40!!

Why Losing the Olympic Bid Was Good for Chicago

2009-10-29T12:32:00.002-05:00

I am sorry this doesn't fall into the category of "a blog for and about women" but, I needed to post this second one as well this week because it is something that has hit close to home and could really be a problem anywhere. During the 2008-2009 school year, 33 Chicago Public School students died. While I am sure this number was a disappointment to the Mayor of Chicago's office at the time, I don't recall any national news coverage that came of it. Now, looking back on the events over the past couple weeks in Chicago, I would say perhaps it was a good thing that Chicago lost the Olympic bid after all. Why have I made the connection between these two things?

It has been a month or so since Chicago found out it would not be hosting the 2016 Olympics and while some may be diappointed, many Chicagoens might agree, that perhaps, this was a good thing for Chicago. Since then, Mayor Richard Daley, has turned his attention to the problem of youth violence that has been building over the years in our city. This followed the well publicized death of a Darien Albert, a 16-year old honor student who was beaten to death on September 24,2009, an event that was caught on video and may have very well influenced the decision not to hold the Olympics in Chicago. Mayor Daley, after realizing that the Olympics would not be his ticket to re-election, has now made the fight against youth violence in Chicago his pet project for the past several weeks.

I would like to believe it was just because the death of a teen was serious enough, but, I have a feeling that if Chicago hadn't lost the Olympic bid, this story might not have gotten the attention it deserved, nor the visit from the the Attorney General Eric Holder and Education Secretary Arne Duncan that followed on October 7th to meet with Mayor Daley, local leaders, and the fellow high school students of Darien Albert three weeks later after he died. You see why I made this connection?

My question is, why didn't it happen sooner? The problem of youth violence is very troubling in Chicago and other communities as well. I hope that in the end something real does come of all of this or this teen's death might be in vein. Again, sorry this is more of an editorial than our usual post,but, I know you understand why it had to be said.

What I got is good! So, why not share a little...

2009-10-29T11:18:00.004-05:00

I admit it, I have been spending way too much time this year concerned about my ticking clock. Those of you regular readers know that I have been pondering motherhood for some time, but, instead of thinking about being a mom or not being a mom, and if I do decide to become a mom, would I actually be able to have kids because it may be too late or some other health issue, etc. This week I dicided to give it a rest and it feels good. Instead, I am going to enjoy what I got.

My husband and I have been married for over three years. Both of us love our jobs for the most part (every job has its drawbacks, and the only thing I don't like about mine right now is the hour commute). We are still very much in love and no matter what we decide as far as having children, we have a lot ahead of us. Because we are older and don't have kids, we do have a lot of good quality time together and we enjoy the freedoms of not thinking about if we go out to eat one more time, how will we pay for school for our children, etc. I am also able to focus on working out 3-4 times a week without wondering who will take care of my kids.

I am sorry if it sounds like I am bragging, but, what I am getting at is we may not have the joy of raising kids or a house of our own, but, I do realize this is a tough time for a lot of women and I am very lucky not worry about paying the bills. For this reason, I also decided to make good on all of my talk about getting back to volunteering and choose an organization dedicated to helping women and girls in our area before the end of the year. I don't have a lot of time other than the weekends and every other Thursday (my flex day) but, darn it, I have more time than other women my age and there are a lot of women out there who need help. I will let you know what comes of it before the end of the year. Have a good weekend everyone!

Breaking in the new car...

2009-10-27T22:10:00.012-05:00

...literally.

I have to admit, this story has very little to do with any sort of issue of import relating to women. However, this woman needs someone to talk to, and, blogosphere, you're it.

Recently, we bought a new car. My husband and I were so excited to get rid of our 2000 Jetta which turned out to be a piece of junk. It was a beautiful car when we bought it (and since both of us are German teachers, we thought we were so cool at the time - you know the whole Fahrvergnügen/witty VW commercial thing), but, after a few years, the interior began to fall apart and it was like an avalanche from then on; more and more repairs needed to be done and the car was getting to be a total financial burden.

Since my husband and I try to be environmentally responsible, we bought a Toyota Prius, one of those cool hybrid cars. It's a nifty vehicle - sleek, black, and modern. We are also pleased that Consumer Reports gave it top ratings on reliability. We're counting on that, so that we don't blow as much money on it as we did fixing all of the problems on our junk-o-rama-Jetta.

We are encountering some issues with the Prius, though. First, my husband just very well might cause the demise of our entire family in that car. The Prius has a neat computer screen on the dashboard from which you can control many aspects of the car's performance. It also displays the gas mileage you're getting and updates it continually, so you can see it rise and fall as you drive. The more responsibly you drive (no lead foot driving - easy on the accelerating and braking), the higher your gas mileage goes. Of course, being a guy, particularly a guy who loves competition and the rewards that go along with good performance, my husband can't keep his eyes off of that computer and the gas mileage updates. If he is the passenger, there is a lot of back seat driving that the driver has to put up with: "Your gas mileage is tanking!! Ease off of the accelerator!" If he is the driver, he barely has his eyes on the road - they're fixed on that d*** computer. And if I'm not in the car, I'm typically scared to death for my son who is with him, because then not only are his eyes not on the road, but at least one hand is not on the steering wheel, as he's calling me up on his cell phone to blast into my ear: "54 MILES PER GALLON, BRENDA!!! Can you BELIEVE that?? No, no WAIT! 55 MILES PER GALLON!!!!"

And if my husband doesn't cause us to get into an accident that's going to wreck our precious new car, other Houstonian drivers will. Sometimes, I absolutely despise driving in Houston. The experience is often chaotic and terrifying. Streets are strewn with litter in many places and things fly off of the backs of trucks all of the time. My husband and I have seen buckets, huge plastic garbage bags filled with clothes, sofa cushions, and even a ladder fly off of trucks going down the HIGHWAY. Yes, the HIGHWAY. How scary do you think that is going 65 miles per hour?? Pretty darn scary!!

So, the other day, two things happened to me in our Prius in the course of just one day. Driving home from my son's school, I see a brown lunch bag fly up from under the car in front of me. It was too late to avoid it, so I drive over it thinking it was just filled with air. Nope. All of a sudden I hear, "CLANK, CLUNK, BANG!" under my car. I come home to find a huge set of keys with about 15 keys on it nestled in the metal rim of the car that creates a semicircle above and around the top of the tire. Apparently, that was in the lunch bag. I inspect the tire, and it appears fine.

Later that day, I'm driving onto the entrance ramp of the highway, and a large dump truck is in front of me. You know what's coming. A huge chunk of something flies out of the dump truck. I'm too busy watching it hurl toward me thinking, "Please don't hit our new car. Please don't hit our new car. Please don't hit our new car," to think to look at the truck's license plate and note the company name on the truck which my husband asks me about later. Of course, the huge chunk of something hits our hood and when I arrive at my destination, I find a nice, big ding in the paint job.

Plus, I have a flat tire from the keys.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

2009-10-26T00:00:00.003-05:00

I don't know about anybody else but I am so over the cold and flu season already!! I have had it. My youngest has had it. My mom has had it. Heck my oldest has had it all the way in Spain!! What the heck, people? It's worse than having Christmas decorations up before Halloween!!

And, we are the not the only ones feeling it. Last week, 12% of the student body reported being out with flu symptoms. We weren't the worst either. There were schools in our area that had 60% out and the health department had to close them. What the heck, people??

What is going on? When we were kids, I don't ever remember missing school because someone else was sick?? Has it really come to this? Are we really this weak? I don't know about you guys but this scares the crap out of me!

Should I be concerned?

2009-10-22T08:17:00.006-05:00

I am a wimp when it comes to haunted houses and scary movies- for these reasons, I used to not be a big fan of Halloween. The thing that I am just a little bewildered about is that nearly every television show that I watch regularly has a morbid theme usually about death or illness. Don't laugh, it's true. Here is a list of the shows I am watching currently- Bones, The Forgotten, Fringe, The Mentalist, Psych, House, and Flash Forward. I also used to be a big CSI fan before it morfed into two other shows. The only one that I watch that does not fall into that category is Drop Dead Diva which is done for the year. I am sorry, but, I am not a fan of reality TV- I am too old for Gossip Girl or Melrose Place(and I don't think I would watch them anyway). Should I be concerned?

The last couple of years since my nephew has become old enough to try trick or treating, however, have been pretty fun. Last year he was a little scared of all of the costumes and walking up to people's houses in the dark, but, I think this year we have prepared him a little more and he is old enough (nearly 3)to understand that it is all in fun. I hope...we are looking forward to finding out. Happy early Haloween and have a good weekend all!

Alzheimer's hits home

2009-10-20T21:45:00.003-05:00

My mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We all saw it coming, but the reality of the disease is now starting to rear it's ugly head. My mother-in-law deals with a good deal of forgetfulness and confusion which has been quite embarrassing and frustrating for her. Additionally, her days of driving seem to be over since she has started confusing the accelerator and the brake. This means her children (and their spouses) now need to chip in a bit more to help her and my father-in-law out.

For me, it means paying her a visit once or twice a week while my father-in-law is out at the flying field. He flies model airplanes that he has built himself. We all know he enjoys his time there and none of us want to deprive him of something he is so fond of doing.

I'm sure that we are all in for some difficult times ahead. It's time for me to seek out some literature and perhaps other resources about Alzheimer's to become a little better informed about the disease and the task of caregiving for the individual stricken with it. So far, I've been given one book recommendation: The 36-Hour Day.

Any other recommendations or words of wisdom from readers out there?

I Usually Don't Do This But...

2009-10-19T00:00:00.003-05:00

I usually don't get involved in the debate between stay-at-home-moms and working moms but...sometimes, it isn't fair.

As a stay-at-home-mom, I volunteer at the school all the time. I have supervised Safety Town, math centers and literacy centers and, I have stuffed Friday folders. I have attended the PTO meetings and I am even leading my daughter's Daisy troop.

The working moms can't do as much as I do and I don't expect them to. However, when it came around to sign up for the pumpkin farm, all the working moms took off work, signed up and got the gig. They can only take a certain amount of parents along on field trips and I got bumped because this is the only opportunity they have to volunteer.

Now, how fair is that? I have worked hard at the school over the last two months and when the holy grail of volunteering comes around, I have to step aside? I am doing all the work and they get all the fun. I feel like the custodial parent who is all liver and onions and veggies and the working moms are french fries and ice cream. I understand that they are just trying to make it equitable but this is one instance, when it just isn't.

Busy, busy, busy

2009-10-11T18:24:00.003-05:00

Why is it that the busier my family gets, the less time I have? My daughter starts kindergarten and I am at school just as much as she is. My mom starts water aerobics and I am running her around everyday of the week now. I am phoning my blog posts in, my garden is a weed fest and my husband can't remember what I look like naked. Mama needs some time!!!

Let me see...I can pencil you in Thursday morning between 9 and 9:15:-)

Why Losing the Olympic Host City Bid Was a Good Thing

2009-10-09T10:17:00.015-05:00

39 and Holding

2009-10-08T05:31:00.012-05:00

I turned 39 yesterday. There I said it! I don't feel 39, but, I am putting it out there for the rest of our readers to know. This week, I have decided that I have spent enough time reflecting on the things that I still want to achieve- what some would call the "bucket list". Instead, since I do have 39 years of knowledge to share, I am going to write a list of things I have done that I would totally recommend everyone try and do before they hit 40 if you haven't already done them:

• Live in a city or town other than where you grew up for at least a year.
• Do something that scares you every once in awhile (but be smart enough to take percautions if they are necessary).
• Live with someone who you are having a romantic relationship for at least 6mos.
• Live with a roommate for at least a year.
• Live by yourself for at least a year.
• I would say have a child, but, this is one that is on my list.
• Love someone so bad it hurts.
• Love someone and lose them.
• Take any one more of the following classes: cooking, photography, guitar, painting/sketching, dance, voice, crafts or a foreign language. (My friend Kristin would probably add improv classes to the list)
• Travel to someplace in Europe- I highly recommend Venice, Vienna, Salzburg, London and Ireland (anywhere in Ireland is beautiful).
• Travel somewhere tropical- Jamaica and the San Juan Islands, WA (yes, I consider this tropical).
• Have a one night stand that you do not regret.
• Explore the U.S. (I admit, I need to do more of this, but, my favorite places of those I have been thus far are Washington, D.C., and San Diego,CA). Hawaii is definitely on my bucket list...
• Keep a diary for a period of time and then read it- it's a gift you can give yourself that doesn't cost much at all.
• Dance like a child at least once a year.
• See a Broadway show.
• Read or reread a classic novel for fun.
• Do something you haven't done since you were a child.
• Say you are sorry when you are wrong.
• Stand up for what you believe when it's important or when someone else can't do it for themselves.
• See a big name musician in concert (20+ and counting)
• Work at a job you love (and this includes being a mom).
• Go to a museum at least once a year.
• Make a few mistakes.
• Try snorkeling, windsurfing, or scuba diving (scuba diving is on my list).
• Do something out of character at least once a year.
• Volunteer at least once a year.
• Go out of your way for a friend.
• Go out of your way for a stranger or at least an acquaintance.

Now, a few of these are easy- many of us would have them on our list of things they have done, but, how often do we really think about their value? These are things we should all celebrate. Even the ones that may not seem positive at first glance. In some cases, they are valuable lessons learned.

I don't mean to seem like a know it all- I know there are still some things out there I have yet to experience, but, reflecting on what I have accomplished has given me confidence to keep moving forward.

I am sure there are a few more I have forgotten, but, I wanted to see what else others would have on their list. Feel free to share and perhaps, by next year, I will have a few of your recommendations that I can add to the list of celebration.

Uninspired

2009-10-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well, Ladies...it has happened. I am at a loss for words today. I've got nothing except this flu. Does that ever happen to you? Where you just feel like phoning it in?

'Tis the season...

2009-09-29T11:42:00.004-05:00

...to be scared out of one's mind. With October 1st right around the corner, Halloween is quickly approaching. And I'm not quite sure how my little guy is going to make it for the next month with all of the goblins and ghouls that will be popping up in various forms around town.

Right around this time last month, we made a family trip to Lowe's one day. Lowe's already had some Halloween decorations for sale, including a life size grim reaper of sorts near the entrance. Of course, it scared the living s*** out of my 4-year old son. Ever since then, he's been coming into our bedroom at night and staying in our bed until morning. Now, I know The Nanny would shake her thumb at us about this in disapproval and encourage us to remedy the situation immediately, getting that boy back into his own bed...for the entire night, every night. In truth, I empathize with my son and let him snuggle up with us just because I know what he's going through. I was always a scaredy-cat myself when I was young. Nighttime was not the happiest for me. I remember being really scared often. Plus, for some asinine reason, my dad thought it was ok for me to watch The Exorcist on TV when I was about ten years old. That movie pushed me over the edge. I swear, I should've gone to therapy because of that damn film. I was totally traumatized by it and didn't get over it well into my late teens. So, I know what it's like to be scared at night, and I really don't want my son to grow up with the many nighttime anxieties that I grew up with.

So far, we are doing what we can to help him avoid scary situations. We're keeping him away from stores that might have gruesome Halloween decorations. He likes books about Halloween, but we are getting books from the library about the holiday which won't frighten him.

Any other advice for this parent about how to ease my son's mind of these type of fears? I could sure use some.

40 and Fabulous

2009-09-28T00:00:00.001-05:00

I wrote about my Second Attempt at weight loss earlier this month. I am here to tell you that I am very encouraged by some success. I feel fantastic and I have dropped 10 pounds. Now, 10 pounds is a drop in the bucket to what I need to lose however, it is a really good start. And I have found some motivation recently that I want to share.

I am turning 40 on May 28 next year. So, my goal is to be 40 and Fabulous. Now, I am already fabulous in many ways however, I want to be even more fabulous by dropping more of this weight by my big day. I am not putting a number on it. I know it when I feel it.

Also, I had another cupcake challenge this weekend. I know that this seems really counter-productive to my overall goal however, the challenge took place a Goldie's Shoe Parlor. If you are in the Milwaukee area, go directly to Goldie's...do not pass "Go"....bring $200. They have the cutest stuff on the planet!! It is one of those rare boutiques that have clothes for real sizes. So, my goal is to buy something fabulous for the my 40 and Fabulous birthday!!

Wish me luck! So far....so good:-)

Friendships for Your Health

2009-09-23T21:23:00.005-05:00

Our 100th post got me thinking last week, that I am lucky to have so many friends. True, not all of the friends I mentioned are as close as others, but, I still hold them close to my heart and I wanted to let them know.

With another birthday looming, I have found myself reflecting over the past week or two- how much life changes, sometimes without your even realizing it and others it is more in our faces than you would like. At certain points in our lives, some friends come to the foreground while others fade away. Thinking about this made me a little sad, but, I know it is not something that always happens on purpose. It just does.

After reading an article called "You Just Gotta Have Friends," in the October issue of Self Magazine, I was reminded of the four different levels of friendship including "acquantances, casuals, close and lifers". Regardless of the level, each of them is important to our well being(Frankel, 2009).

In 1998, a study at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor found that people who were isolated had an increased risk of mortality similar to that of cigarette smokers. More recent studies show that lonely people "get high blood pressure, sleep poorly and have weakend immunity". People who feel connected, however, "are simply healthier- they have better cardiovascular health and report a higher level of satisfaction," says professor of social psychlogy, Shelly Gable, Ph.D. (Frankel, 2009).

The article goes on to talk about how some people who form smaller networks of friends have found they can be just as valuable, if not more so, as those who have larger ones. I am sorry I could not provide a link because the article is not yet available on line, but, the issue is worth a read for this article and a number of others.

Keeping in touch when life gets rough or busy is hard, but, most of us are lucky enough to also have friends who all you have to do is pick up the phone and it won't matter how long its been since the last time you talked. I thank God for that and any time one of them chooses to place the call to me in return, she knows I will be there.

The Difference Between Men and Woman

2009-09-21T00:00:00.002-05:00

Over the last week or two, I have experienced two examples of the difference between men and women:

1. My husband has lived in this house since 1996. I joined him in 2001. Since my move in, I have met ALL the neighbors. I have had playdates with some, got strawberries and apples from others and even got a poker night in or two. My husband, just talked to the neighbor to our north...this week! Yep...that's 13 years living adjacent to someone with a polite wave while mowing the lawn but no verbal exchange.

2. Moms can walk into an elementary school, no questions asked. They belong there. They are supposed to be there. Dads walk in an they get the third degree. "Who are you again?" "What are you here for?" "Who is your child, again?" Not fair for Daddy:-(

Could I really do it?

2009-09-17T15:57:00.004-05:00

Sorry for posting so late in the day, but, I have been playing catch up all week. It has been one of those horrendous periods at work where I am working late most nights, getting in some working outs, eating okay for the most part, going home and vegging and then it starts all over again the next day at 5:15 or so.

We can barely handle the new kitten that we have added to the family in the mornings. It is times like these that my husband and I both wonder, could we really handle being parents in addition to all of this when things get rough? So, we are still floundering and putting it off. I have been very tired lately and my nerves have been a little shot. As a mother, I know fatigue is often a part of daily life. I also wonder how I will continue to meet the expectations of my colleagues and myself at work. These are just a few of my concerns none of which even begin to broach the subject of being a good mom (that is a whole other set of concerns).

I need to get back to work, but, had to put this out there. I am sure there are other working moms who may have something to share in response. Thanks for listening.

Kindergarteners have it rough

2009-09-15T22:20:00.007-05:00

My son started 4-yr. old preschool in August. I'm in shock that he is growing up so quickly. During the three days a week that he is in school, I often wonder where the time has gone. Down the street from us, there are a few kids who are 5 and started Kindergarten this year. My own memories of Kindergarten (albeit very few) include coming home for lunch and then taking a nap if I was really tired out. In this day and age, Kindergarteners have it rough. Our neighborhood kids get on the bus before 8 AM and don't walk in the door at home again until after 4 PM. Is it me, or is this totally crazy?? I can't imagine putting little 5 year olds through such a long day, but that's what we do now. Since when did Kindergarten become an all day affair? I mean, it has essentially become 1st grade, if you think about it. It sure does seem like a lot for our little people to have to handle, and I'm not too thrilled with the prospect of that kind of life for my son next year. Unfortunately, our income won't allow for attendance at a private school, so we're stuck with what is offered here in our public schools. And, no, I'm not even considering homeschooling. My sanity must be preserved. 'Nuff said.

I haven't researched the matter, but I'm assuming all day Kindergarten came about as a result of two things: 1) mothers started working full time out of the home and needed childcare, and 2) our academics across the nation went down the toilet in comparison with the rest of the western world, so we decided our youth needed to learn more at an earlier age.

In spite of those two reasons, you can mark this mama down as not a fan of all day Kindergarten. I just don't think it's necessary for our 5 year olds. Why can't we let them enjoy their childhood a little longer like we were allowed to when we were young?

What's your opinion on this one?

100 Things We Admire

2009-09-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

This is our 100Th post and to commemorate the occasion, we are listing 100 things that we admire in other women and in ourselves. So, in no particular order:

1. Strength.

2. Intelligence.

3. Beauty.

4. Perseverance.

5. Resilience.

6. Compassion.

7. Nurturing.

8. Organization.

9. Baking.

10. Cooking.

11. Hugs.

12. Kisses

13. Encouragement.

14. Spiritual.

15. Determined.

16. Focused.

17. Not Afraid to Make Hard Decisions.

18. Knowing How to Live with the Consequences of those Decisions.

19. Loving.

20. Generosity.

21. Green.

22. In Touch with Her Emotions.

23. Lives Life to the Fullest.

24. Entrepreneur

25. Passionate.

Brenda's list:
26. my mom's unconditional love for me and my brother...and now for her grandchild.
27. my mom's selflessness and attendance to our needs when we were growing up...and still now.
28. my mom's influence in developing my love of travel, music, art, and so many other things!
29. my mom's strength in being a breast cancer and open-heart surgery survivor.
30. my mom's yummy cooking.
31. my grandmother's unending generosity.
32. my grandmother's faith.
33. my grandmother's style and flair.
34. my grandmother's endearing vanity of wearing lipstick everywhere...which has now become my own as well.
35. my aunt's ability to look absolutely terrific...even at 80.
36. my aunt's impeccable taste in decorating and fashion.
37. my mother-in-law's knack for organization
38. my MIL's work ethic at her artistic crafts
39. my MIL's ability to make a lovely home and garden look so easy
40. my sisters'-in-law kindness, good-naturedness, and ease at great conversation
41. my mom's and my passion for teaching.
42. my girlfriends for so many things...such as their kindness...
43. ...and ability to forgive even when it's hard...
44. ...and the way we can make each other laugh...
45. ...and the immediate offer of a shoulder (or an ear) if I need a good cry...
46. ...and the way we can work together to create something special...
47. ...and the way they can get us organized when my skills are lacking the ability to do so...
48. ...and the way they've been strong and turned lemons into lemonade.
49. my love and dedication to my son.
50. my dedication to nursing my son...for 42 months! (no, I'm not crazy, really)

51. We can grow people. How cool is that?

52. We hold our families together

53. Katy Perry was right, "Hard to resist, so touchable"

54. Even when the going gets tough, we still get up in the morning and keep on going

55. Being a mom makes you feel powerful. Don't get between me and my kid, man...I'll take you out...I don't care if you're a linebacker!

56. Behind every great man is a great woman. I'm almost 40 and am now just starting to grasp how real this is. Men would be lost without us, don't you think?

57. When my mom tried to buy a house in the 70's, they wouldn't give her a mortgage because they didn't think she'd be working very long before she stayed home to have babies. I bought my own house at 28. All by myself.

58. That was two years after I went to Europe with 2 of my best girlfriends. They helped me fulfil one of my grandmother's life-long wishes. Neat, huh?

59. I think it's awesome that many Native Americans thought women were so powerful when they had their periods, they separated them from the rest of the tribe. I wish we still thought of it that way.

60. Suffragettes, like Susan B. Anthony. For that matter, there's a lot of other noteworth women I admire for what they've done, and how they've lived their lives.

61. Sally Ride

62. Katherine the Great

63. Katherine Hepburn

64. Jackie Kennedy

65. Eleanor Roosevelt

66. Sojourner Truth

67. Barbara Bush

68. Maya Angelou

69. Julia Child

70. Emily Dickinson

71. Betty Friedan

72. Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73. Rosa Parks and all the women who pioneered "firsts" for the rest of us

74. The wonderful women I write this blog with

75. My daughter, who showed me the kind of woman I want to be

From Kari: Let me preface this by saying I am lucky enough to have women in my life who have a number of the following traits in common; I am pointing out the traits I admire that are more predominant.

76. My mom's sensibility and ability to manage numerous projects at one time

77. My mom's ability to make me calmer just by being there

78. My aunt Teri's strength even though she doesn't know it's there sometimes

79. My cousin Jen's resilience

80. My sister Charity's generosity

81. My friend Kristin's sense of humor

82. My friend Janet's sense of self

83. My friend Brenda's dedication

84. My friend Sue's tenacity

85. My friend Diane's moxie

86. My friend Therese's devotion

87. My grandmother Marion's sense of style

88. My grandmother Evelyn's courage

89. My aunt Barb's patience

90. My friend Amy's enthusiasm

91. My friend Lisa's perceptiveness

92. My friend Nancy's jovial attitude

93. My mother in law Mary's good naturedness and devotion

94. The many who are gifted and willingly share their gifts with others

95. The many who can make me smile or laugh

96. The many who are insightful

97. The many who inspire me to try harder

98. The many who know what it is to be a friend unconditionally

99. The many who know how to listen

100. The many who know how to love in unique ways

Attempt Number Two

2009-08-31T00:00:00.002-05:00

Since my first weight loss attempt was an utter and complete failure, I am going to give it another college try (mind you, I quit college too so, take that at face value:-). I hereby pledge to take care of myself first so I can take care of others second.

Anyway, my plan is to get up at o'dark-hundred to workout. I am going to continue my walking tapes until I can get a Wii Fit and the money for the Wii Fit in the same room at the same time. In addition, I am tracking my nutrition stats through my recipe/grocery software. The Living Cookbook rocks in this regard. I just type in my menu plan and viola...success:-)

Now, why am I boring you with all this? I am not sure except that I needed to purge my soul and my other blog would have spit it out:-)

So, wish me luck on this second quest to find health and to take care of me:-) Let's hope this time it sticks!

A (Political) Rant

2009-08-27T12:47:00.008-05:00

It turns out that Kermit the Frog was wrong. In fact, it is quite easy being green. Don't worry - I haven't been stricken with some horrid flu virus that has turned my skin a sickly hue. I'm actually referring to living green, doing one's part for the good of the environment.

Now that my part time teaching jobs have started again at the beginning of a new school year, my focus is very much about learning and teaching. One of the places that I learn the most is when I'm in Germany. People who read this blog may be sick and tired about reading my posts about said country. I do apologizefor the redundancy, but I have one more entry about the Fatherland that I just have to write. Now I warn you, this post may get a tad political and hence ruffle a few feathers. So, if you're not the type who appreciates a different political perspective other than your own, you may want to skip this one.

I was in Germany for 2 weeks this summer. I've been there many times before but hadn't been back for 4 years. Every time I return to the country, I'm struck by how clean and orderly it is and how beautiful the vast majority of towns and cities there are.

My first steps onto foreign soil there already tell me I'm somewhere far from home. I see a garbage can that doesn't just have one hole, but three. Three holes that ask you to separate your garbage when you discard it. Above the holes are signs that say, "plastic," "paper," and "remaining garbage." These garbage cans are standard fare for Germany; they are all over the country, everywhere you go.

According to a recent article I read about Germany, this garbage can thing shouldn't be a surprise, because Germany has been named The World's Greenest Country. That's right, it is more environmentally friendly than any other country on earth. Being a person who tries to live green as much as I can, I appreciate this. In fact, over the decades that I've been to Germany, I always suspected this to be true but never had any proof to support my theory. I've been struck by a number of ways that Germans live their daily lives which include the following:

1. Germany is a very clean place, both inside and out. You just don't see a lot of inside grime or clutter, and outside, one immediately notices that there isn't much litter...anywhere.

2. Germans don't use as much gas as we do and can get away with it for a number of reasons. Their inner cities (which have a positive connotation in that culture's language due to all of the culturalperks inner cities there have to offer, not the negative one we have in English of poverty and violence) are pedestrian zones. People walk and ride their bikes to go shopping and often to work. Public transportation is excellent. Many cities have streetcars, buses, and a subway. And don't even get me started on how awesome their train transportation is. Germany also has fairly strict laws about the kind of condition your car is in. You can't go around driving some clunker that's spewing smoke and gassing out everyone behind you. This means better and newer cars which get better gas mileage. Plus, because their country is only about 1/2 of the size of Texas, yet is home to 80+ million people, they're not afraid to look like wimps and drive small cars, like the Smart Car, for example, to get into that rarely available and teeny tiny parking spot.

3. And while Germans are shopping, you see them with their canvas bags or woven baskets. If you want a plastic bag for your groceries, you have to pay for it (and paper bags aren't even offered). A few months ago, I bought myself 5 canvas bags from my grocery store to use instead of plastic bags - a recent trend here in the USA. Germans have been doing this for decades.

I'm going on a rant about all of this, because I sometimes find my adopted state of Texas...well...filthy. This is especially true when I come back from a trip to Europe. And it bothers me. The smog, the litter (when I first came to Houston, I used to call it, "Houston...The City With All The Crap On The Side Of The Road" - not the most endearing nickname). My little subdivision here in Texas doesn't even recycle. That's right, we have no recycling pick up service. And I find that very annoying. My solution to this problem is to bring my paper recycling to the recycling bins behind an elementary school that is 3 minutes from my house. I bring plastic and glass to public bins that are on my way to work. I know that most of my neighbors are not recycling, though. I see their cardboard boxes out on garbage pickup days, and I can just see the landfills piling higher and higher.

Sometimes, I think we Americans could learn a thing or two from our European counterparts.

And here's the political part - so don't say I didn't warn you.

I just don't get why our society is freaking out about Obama's supposed efforts to make this country more "European" and the accusations that he's turning us into socialists. First of all, life is pretty darn good in all of the socialist countries in Europe that I'm familiar with, and I've traveled extensively there. And they're all democracies, too. We're not talking communism here. They have the same rights that we do. And when it comes to their system of socialized medicine, there are no death panels (where ARE there death panels, anyway?? I mean, come on!!), and you don't have to wait for 6 months for surgeries either, like many people claim. My aunt who is German and has lived in Germany all of her life, found out she needed stomach surgery in June. She had the surgery 2 weeks later (and it was only 2 weeks later, because we were visiting her for those two weeks!).

For this Euro-wanna-be, I personally think this country could use some European influence. From what I've seen first hand, it would definitely make life here a a little bit more pleasant.

Depression Survival Tips

2009-08-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Older daughter off to Spain? Check.
Younger daughter getting ready for kindergarden? Check.

With my house almost empty, I have got to make sure I have my time completely filled or I am going to go nuts. As a depression survivor, that is one thing I have to do. So, here is my list:

Closets to organize.
Carpets to clean.
Gardens to weed.
Jam and apple pies to make.

See? I have lot's to do.

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-08-17T00:00:00.004-05:00

Today is my first baby's birthday. She is turning 19 today. That's how old I was when I became pregnant with her. Looking back at the young woman I was and the young lady she is, my heart just bursts with pride. This girl has got it together and she is on top of the world:-)

At 19, I had:

...dropped out of college to be with my boyfriend.

...gotten myself pregnant with said boyfriend.

...a job at Burger King.

...barely been out of the state.

At 19, she is:

...on her second year of college with the credits of a Junior.

...staying away from boys (at this point).

...working towards a future in which fast food is not her only option for employment.

...getting ready to fly to Spain for a semester.

We all want better for our children than what we were able to have ourselves. In my case, I have not only reached that goal but surpassed it by leaps and bounds. The world is her oyster and she is savoring every moment. I am so proud of her and I know that the path she is on will lead her whereever she wants to go.

Happy Birthday Baby! I love you very much:-)

Another Try

2009-08-13T08:16:00.003-05:00

Not much is new this week, but, I do want to clue you in on someting that I am planning to do next week. I have decided that now is a good time to give it another chance since my exercise regimend is in better shape than it has been in years and I am eating more fresh foods including veggies, fruits and proteins as well. In spite of these changes, it seems I still need something else to kick in, because I haven't lost anything in months so I am going to try Weight Watchers online.

I have been to meetings for months at a time over the years, but, would give up after I realized that I was having a hard time with the restrictions and sometimes I cheated myself by not really giving it my best. I haven't been to one for at least four years now. I was considering going in person, but, with the work/commute schedule and working out 3-4 times a week, I am not sure it will fit into my lifestyle. I figured I would give the online program a try since I was able to succeed in getting my Masters online, perhaps this would be a good way for me to hold myself accountable. Has anyone else had success with WW online? I am curious if you have any tips to share.

Rules of Engagement

2009-08-10T00:00:00.006-05:00

I love it when my friends are on maternity leave because I get to see them more often:-) This visit was just as nice as last week and we covered a wide range of topics. One of these topics was about play dates and how different we are from our mothers. Times sure have changed.

Our mother's rarely had to organize play dates for us when we were kids. She would send us out the door in the morning and tell us not to come back until supper. And all the while she would tell us to "go find something to do" or "go find someone to play with". If we did that nowadays, we would be hauled into Social Services on child neglect charges.

Also, there is a whole subculture and etiquette to playdates. First, you have to find time on both your busy calendars for the event. Then, it's all in how you ask for the date that tell you the rules of engagement. For example, if a mother said to me, "Would your daughter like to come over and play?", then I know that it is a drop and go. I drop off my daughter, leave the premises and return when at a mutually acceptable time to retrieve my child. The means that the inviter is accepting responsibilty and entertainment for your child but they don't necessarily want to strike up a friendship between the adults.

Conversely, if a mother said to me, "Do you guys want to come over and play?", then I it is a whole different playgame. This parent does not want to full responsiblity of watching your child however, may be interested in striking up a friendship among the adults involved.

So, things are a lot more complicated for us than for our mothers however, as long as we know the rules, we should be ok:-)

A Face Lift

2009-08-06T19:40:00.011-05:00

My parents have lived in the same house for nearly 40 years. It was over a hundred years old when they first moved into it, so you can imagine over the years their home has pretty much always needed some kind of work. My husband spent the past week or so giving the front of my parent’s home a face lift. I thought I would write about it and show a picture of the flowers we both planted, because, it’s not too many husbands who would spend a week living with their in laws without their spouse doing something he wasn’t asked to do.

I love my parents, sister and nephew very much, but, I also recognize that it’s not the easiest time in their lives. My mom just had double knee surgery (just call her robotic mom). My dad is 66 and is usually working more than 10-hour days because he is afraid he might not have a job next year if he doesn’t. My sister is 35, working part time and living with her parents. Combined, they are helping to raise my 2 ½ half year old nephew who has more than enough energy (not to mention verbal capabilities) to outmatch all of them.

Ben must really love me. We had a very nice weekend catching up with Sue and her husband before her mom came home, picking out and planting flowers, catching bubbles with my nephew and visiting my folks.

Hopefully, it will help to give each of them a little place to relax and enjoy.

Sorry for the late post. Even though it was my flex day today, with all of the appointments I had been putting off, it was just a little busy. I figured that Diane hasn’t been posting on Fridays anyway, so I would still write about something. Hopefully, once she manages to catch her breath from being mother to a new born she will give everyone an update;) Have a good weekend anyone!

In Through the Front Door

2009-08-03T00:00:00.005-05:00

Well, my mom is home from her latest medical ordeal. I knew that her catherization was going too smoothly and my fears were well founded because she did develop complications. I find myself desensitized to even the most serious of situations: the ICU. Her life threatening events have become par for the course for me. In my systematic numbing, I have learned something very unsettling: not all patients are created equal.

It isn't a prejudice that we are used to. It isn't race or religious affiliation that causes the deviation in handling. No. In my vast experience in the haloed halls of these establishments, the difference is how you get there.

If you are admitted to the hospital through the ER, the goal is treat and street. This is espeically true if your physican does not hold privilleges at the hospital of your choice. If that happens, you are an unarmed solider in your battle to return back to your baseline. Your attempt to try to enter the "back door of the hospital", will result in them throwing a bandaid on a gapping head wound and sending you home before you can even sit up. And, it is not only the fault of the doctors. The insurance company views you the same way. If you don't have the good sense to prevent yourself from ending up in the ER, the mighty insurance company will not grant you the wish of mending you back to health.

On the other hand, if you are lucky enough to find a doctor who will admit you to the hospital, then you get the red carpet treatment. Upon your arrival, your gold plated invitation to the dance is confirmed and your wheelchair chariot will gently carry you off to your party destination. The lyrics to your tune is "just a precaution" this and "just to be safe" that. The insurance company will fall over itself to get you to accomodations that your situation requires. And when you are fully recovered, nurse and doctors salute your departure like cruise ship employees. You can breathe freely knowing that you came in the "front door".

So the moral of the story is, if you are going to have a catastrophic event, make sure that your doctor is there to greet you at the right door!

Woe is me...

2009-08-01T21:02:00.015-05:00

Allergies have taken this family for a loop. Last year, in February of 2008, we had our son tested for allergies, only to discover he has a plethora of plant, dust, and food allergies. Dealing with that alone has been a challenge. For the last six months, I've had a terrible flare up of adult acne on my neck, an area I've never had trouble with before, even though I've suffered from acne since my teen years and into my 20s and now 30s. After reading on the internet that acne can result from food allergies, I decided to get myself tested for allergies as well. My test results came back with just as many allergies as my son. I was ASTOUNDED to discover the sheer amount of foods to which I have an allergy. The list has put a major cramp in my style when it comes to cooking, because, as you'll see for yourself, there just aren't too many basic supermarket foods left that are OK for me to eat. So, in response to my need to do some major venting about my situation, I thought I'd share...

The Complete List of Foods That F*** Me Up:
(Please excuse the implied use of a highly tasteless expletive. I know it's terribly ill mannered, and I am duly sorry, but it is merely an expression of my extreme FRUSTRATION!)

I am highly allergic to...
1) peanuts
2) tomatoes (Good thing I am mostly German, because I have to renounce my Italian side - sorry, Mom.)
3) soy beans (Farewell to many of my favorite Asian foods!)
4) chocolate (Kill me now! Just do it. I mean it. NOW.)
5) shrimp
6) crab
7) scallops
8) chicken (hmmm - about 40% of my cooking repertoire is knocked out with that one - how to rebound??)
9) pineapple
10) pecans
11) coconuts (This is the only one that doesn't bother me one bit - BLECH!)
12) squash
13) cabbage (Ummmm, OK, maybe I have to renounce my German side, too.)
14) cucumber
15) broccoli
16) green beans
17) ginger (Farewell to most remaining Asian foods and all home remedies to help my motion sickness in vehicles - sigh)
18) cauliflower
19) almonds

After this list, one might wonder: What's left?? Oh, but wait! Here is the list of foods I am borderline allergic to and can only eat once a week:
1) eggs
2) turkey
3) oranges
4) strawberries
5) peaches
6) blueberries
7) cinnamon (It's a good thing I lack inspiration in the kitchen, cuz' I don't bake much.)
8) coffee (Someone is out to get me, I SWEAR.)
9) carrots
10) peas
11) onion (Stop the madness! Call me a bad-breathed, tootin' weirdo, but I love onions!)
12) garlic (Life. is. over.)

I'm wondering how to keep track of all these. Actually, I think I've pretty much given up and decided it's impossible. I'll try to do what I can with the first list but this is really just too CRAZY! The other day, I spent two hours looking through cookbooks for new recipes to try, and I found a whopping THREE that I could eat! Out of the 30 recipes or so that I used to make on a regular basis (I had a month's worth of recipes that I rotated for my family), I'm down to about five that I can still cook. In the meantime, I'm becoming more and more malnourished by the second...

Saving for More Sunny Days

2009-07-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged the past two weeks because I have felt pretty uninspired. Following our staycation, I returned to work with a heavy heart because I had to go back to work while my husband, the teacher, continues to enjoy his summer days. It was fun while it lasted. Since then, I must admit, I have been a bit down in the dumps.

Now, I must admit, he hasn't been completely carefree. It's like I have a totally different husband for the summer. He cleans like no one's business. Not that he doesn't help out here and there, but, it's nothing like what I have come home to lately. For instance, yesterday he did five loads of wash (including folding) and sorted out papers in the office for filing and shredding. I know I am lucky, but, I am still jealous that he is home while I am at work.

All in all, it has been a good summer, but, it has been going way too fast- only 1 month left. And even though we have had to scale back a bit, we are still luckier than most considering both of us are still working and we are still moving little by little towards a goal. The goals have shifted a bit, from buying a house to paying off our debts and saving more money, but, none the less they are goals. Like many, I have learned a lesson from this economy; always put away something to plan for the unexpected. Also: work on paying down your debt whenever possible. In the long run, it will get you further.

Speaking of which, I recently found a new resource about saving moneysavingadvice.com. As you probably guessed, the web site offers lots of helpful tips on ways to save, freebies, financial news and includes a number of blogs on personal finance.

Hope you are planning to enjoy what's left of your summer days in whatever way makes you most happy. And as for feeling jealous, I think I am getting over it. Having learned some lessons about my personal finance, I am hopeful there are some brighter days ahead for all of us.

Precious Memories

2009-07-28T09:34:00.019-05:00

My family and I are back from our travels overseas. It was a great adventure! We made some wonderful memories and took some pictures that will be cherished for generations, I'm sure. The minute I booked my parents' and my family's tickets back in February, I knew this trip would be a real tear-jerker, and I was so proud of myself that I held it together for the entire trip without balling at every turn.

You see, my father stated that this would be his last trip back to Germany (having a high degree of Wanderlust, he'd rather explore other parts of the world like Hawaii or Alaska). That alone choked me up. The reality of a final trip to Germany for my parents, who are 68 and 74, had never entered my head before. My memories of Germany over all of the years of my time spent there are all about being young, really. My first real memories of Germany were from our trip when I was 16 (I had been there as a little kid but don't remember much). Then, I studied in Bonn (the former captital of West Germany) at 19. I spent a lot of time with my relatives that year. My dad's sister, my aunt, was about 60 then, and she was definitely my surrogate mother during my time there; we became very close. I visited her often at her home in Detmold, the city of her and my dad's birth and where they grew up. She was a very energetic woman who was always smiling and laughing. During each and every visit, I had a lot of fun with her walking through downtown Detmold, shopping, eating in cafes, and hearing countless stories about her and my dad growing up. In fact, even though I spent a year away from my dad during my time studying there, I came home that next summer believing I had gotten to know him better than I ever had. My aunt's stories revealed a lot about my father that I had never known. And just spending time among Germans for a year opened my eyes to so many of my dad's mannerism, speech patterns, and quirky habits that before then I had thought were just a little odd; after that year, I discovered they were typically German and that his homeland had truly shaped the man who was my father.

This summer's return to Germany brought together two families who have all gotten older. My dad hadn't been back to Germany for 19 years. His sister, my Aunt Erika, is now 80. Her son, Martin, my only first cousin, is over 50 and has 3 boys. I'm married and am a mom to a preschooler. Although I've been there numerous times since then, this trip made me realize how long ago it was that I spent my year there exploring the country and soaking up every minute of youthful freedom, independence and excitement that studying abroad instills in a person. Time continues to march on.

During this trip, we spent a few days in Detmold where my dad lived with his family until he was 21. We accomplished the one thing I had wanted to do the minute I booked our tickets: we took a picture of 3 generations of relatives in front of my dad's childhood home. It's a huge half-timbered house that was probably built sometime in the late 1500s/early 1600s. Here we are (my son, me, my dad, and my aunt):

And here we are in the center of town (my cousin, my aunt, me, my dad, and my son):

Who knows if we will ever get pictures like these again. For my son, it may be the only time he is ever with his Opa in Germany. I will keep my fingers crossed that this won't be the case, that my parents will remain in good health for years to come and that we will all travel there together again someday. But for now, we will all cherish the precious memories that we made this summer and look to the future with anticipation, certain of many more to come.

On the Road Again...

2009-07-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

This week, we are headed on the road again heading east. My husband's family is having a reunion and that is the ultimate destination. Along the way, we will have mad-cap family fun in the car, consume some Cincinati Chili AND we are taking our youngest to her very first amusement park: Coney Island:-)

So wish me luck on our latest adventure:-) I won't be back next week because of the trip but keep my family in your thoughts because we will be taking a second crack at my mother's catherization on Wednesday the 29th. I will let you know how everything goes in August:-)

I Am Exhausted

2009-07-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

That is pretty much how it is going over here....exhausted. Last week's trials with my mother's healthcare has left me spent with little or nothing to give. I tried to blow off some steam this weekend but I fear, it has only delayed the problem.

In my house, we live in a culture of sickness. Her illness permiates the house. Joy is supressed before it even has a chance to flourish by the constant nagging afflictions that she brings us. I am wasting my youth in her decay. From that, my spirit is abating. How can I be in this vocation that I was born with? How did her problems become my fate? I struggle with this everyday. I will be straddled with this corrosion until the day she leaves this earth. By then, I will have been squandered.

Stress Busters and Staycations

2009-07-09T14:30:00.008-05:00

Reading Sue's blog from earlier this week got me thinking... I am glad that she is asking for some advice. There are many women out there who feel challenged or stressed by obstacles and part of our problem is that we have a tough time asking for help- especially those women who are used to taking care of others. Sue, I will call you tonight or tomorrow to see how things went, but, I hope you know you can always pick up the phone and call me even if it is just to talk it out.

Sometimes, rather than giving or getting advice,listening can be even more valuable. I also found this great article in Reader's Digest that offers 79 Instant Stress Busters that anyone can easily do. They include everything from buying yourself some purple lisianthus and light blue or green hydrangea, a flower that has a calming effect, to drinking some cool water and going for a walk.

Now, don't misunderstand me, I don't mean to belittle what Sue is going through as normal stress that can be solved all that quickly. Sometimes life throws us a punch that nearly anyone who would normally keep it together might need to ask for help and taking care of a sick parent is one of those things... In fact, the article states, that a sick family member is one of the top 10 stressors, but, doing a number of these things in times of stress can help.

What am I doing to relieve stress this week? I am on staycation with my husband. Like many in this economy, our costs have been rising due to the ripple effect. Fortunately, my husband and I are still both working, but, we realized a vacation might not be the best thing for us right now financially. We still needed a break, so I took some time off and we are taking the time to do some things we normally wouldn't do in our own city without the added cost of travel and hotel.

We have eaten at restaurants more than we usually would. We have taken in some tourist attractions, a movie at the theater(something we only do every couple months), went to the beach, road our bikes, and generally relaxed. I also purchased a book about cheap ways to enjoy Chicago that gave me some tips for free, sometimes free or discounted activities. Now, I know not everyone lives in a big city, but, if you take time to do research on the place where you live, I am sure you will find something you might not have thought of before.

Taking time for yourself is important, because if stress builds up, you could end up being in a far worse predicament with your health. It can also help your relationships and even your approach to work once you return. Hope everyone is taking time to enjoy their summer where you are and taking time to let go of a little of your stress. Feel free to share how you do it!

Managing Stress

2009-07-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

My mother had an abnormal stress test. This has resulted in an echocardiogram Tuesday to see if the valve she had replaced in 2000 is leaking. If it is, she needs surgery. Then on Wednesday, she is having a catherization to find if there are any blockages in her arteries. If there are, she will get a stent or angioplasty or surgery. So, as you can see, I am going to be under a lot of stress over the next couple days.

My job is to get her to her appointments, be there for any questions the doctor has for her, communicate to the family what is going on and make any hard decisions that need to be made. That's quite a bit for one person so, I am implementing all of my stress relieving arsenals that I learned in therapy. Deep breathing. Slow down. Focus. It's pretty scary but, I have been here before and I am sure that I will be back. All of my struggles before will not be in vain if I can maintain myself through this again.

So, if you could find the time to send me some positive energy on Tuesday and Wednesday, I would really appreciate it:-) I have tools but...everyone needs a little help now and then, right?

Happy 4th Everyone

2009-07-01T21:28:00.006-05:00

Sorry my posts have been absent for the past couple weeks. I have been a little more busy than usual and more tired lately on the weekends as well, so I haven't been up to writing. I just wanted to take a few minutes to wish everyone a happy 4th of July with some thoughts about how much I appreciate living in the United States.

One aspect of living in a big city like Chicago is that I get exposed to more people of a variety of cultures and backgrounds than I might otherwise. Nearly every day that I ride the train, I hear people speaking a different language and it's not just Spanish. I work with people of different backgrounds as well. Many are from different states and different countries. I appreciate having the opportunity to work with them and sometimes even experience a bit of where they come from. I have been fortunate enough in my life even in my high school years (when I lived in Milwaukee) to experience some of this, having attended a school that celebrated the differnt cultures we all come from.

On something of a different note, I recognize how lucky we are not to have the wars we fight going in our homeland and am grateful we have so many freedoms that others do not. As American women we are very lucky. In other countries, we may not have a choice to work. We might not have a choice as to who we marry. We may be limited as to how many children we could have. We may be persecuted or scorned. We may be treated as property or trash.

Now, I know the reality is there are some American women who are still in these circumstances, but, for the most part this is not the norm. I pray for anyone who is suffering in such a way, regardless of what country they are in. Times have been tough lately, but, we are still more fortunate than most. On this 4th of July, take a few moments to consider the people around you and the good fortune you have. Best wishes for a safe a happy holiday!

Have Child, Will Travel...We hope...

2009-06-28T15:30:00.004-05:00

Traveling with children can be a challenge, but it's one that I am up for. My family plans to make two big trips this summer - a two plane ride trip to Germany and a car trip from Texas to Wisconsin.

Our four year old son was in Germany when he was a baby, but now that he's a cognisant preschooler, this intercontinental trip will be a whole new experience for him. We are actually supposed to be with our German relatives in The Land of Beer and Oompah Bands at this very moment, but children have a way of throwing one's plans to the wind. Three days before our departure date, our son came down with a fever that turned into a febrile seizure later that evening which sent us scurrying to the ER (this was his first febrile seizure and although harmless they are still scary). The poor child still had a 102 fever the day we were supposed to fly, and we just didn't want to take the risk of traveling on that long of a trip with a sick little boy. So, the people at Continental Airlines were very gracious and allowed us to postpone the trip at very little cost. (Kudos to you, Continental, for making this mommy a little less stressed out about the whole situation.)

We're hoping our next departure date will be uneventful and we'll be on the plane and on our way. (Keep your fingers crossed for us!) I've prepared as well as a mommy can. I bought my son a few new toys for the trip: a neat new coloring book of sorts, called Holes, in which the child colors in holes in each page of the book that turn into something else on the next page. It's pretty neat, you mommies of preschoolers/young kids out there should check it out. I also bought two easy reader books about Transformers, a 2-pack of small Transformer robots, and a small Matchbox car and mechanic shop. We decided not to take the plunge and buy a DVD player. I hate sitting my kid in front of a TV for hours on end, even in circumstances like one of long travel that might warrant it. I hope we made the right decision!

What do you do to keep your kids occupied on long trips?

Scrapbook Connection

2009-06-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

I have a feeling that we are going to have some baby news this weekend so, I thought I would post early.

Obviously everyone has been touched by the trio of iconic deaths we experienced this week. Ed McMann, Farrah Faucett and Michael Jackson. The world took a HUGE cosmic hit. I always feel like we all lose something positive when legends pass on and they were all legends in their own right.

I was mostly touched by Michael Jackson's passing. Mostly because it was so sudden but also because he was a big part of my childhood. As a child of the 80's, you would have to live under a rock to not be a fan but I was much more than that. We listened to his music. We watched his videos. We witnessed on TV his global-shifting performance at the Apollo. We hung the posters, bought the T-shirts and envied those fortunate enough to see him in concert. His passion was clear in everything he did and it was contagious....especially to an impressionable starry-eyed dreamer like me. I took all my little visions of singing and dancing and put them into my admiration for him.

I collected every piece of information that I could about him and put them into a special scrapbook. Magazine covers, newspaper articles, posters, pictures...anything I could get my hands on went in that book. It was my attachment to him. I came across that scrapbook a couple years ago and I had a blast going through all the old memories. I enjoyed remembering the young wide-eyed girl I used to be. That was my connection to me.

Ironically, I had rid myself of that little piece of nostalgia last year. I was cleaning out a closet and I needed to let go of those memories to make room for new ones. I didn't regret my decision until today when I got the morning paper. Of course, the front page read of his passing. I paused a moment and remembered the feverishness in which I clipped those articles for that book. How fitting this would have been for a final entry. Fitting and sad. Fitting because he held the dreams of a younger me and sad because he could have been much more. If he were, perhaps, I would still have that scrapbook.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T13:09:00.004-05:00

Although this is a blog about and for women, many of us are mother. Without fathers, there can be no mothers. So today, I am taking a break from the normal girlie stuff we talk about around here to pay tribute to my man: Jeffie:-)

I couldn't do everything that I do without him. Not only is he a great husband and father, but he is the most generous person I know. He started off buying his house in 1996 as Bachelor Extraordinare. When I joined him here in 2001, he got two for the price of one because my older daughter and I were a group package. We added our youngest in 2004 and he was outnumbered 3 to 1. Then in 2007, when my mom got sick, he opened his heart and his home to yet another girl in the house. He is swimming in a sea of estrogen over here.

He does it all for us. He brings home the bacon and on ocassion, he fries it up in a pan. He fixes the things we break, mows the lawn, programs our computers, unplugged our sinks, takes out the garbage and kills our bugs. He is literally and figuratively the strength of our family and we are VERY lucky to have him.

Happy Fathers Day, Honey! Enjoy your presents, your BBQ, your computer games and your race! You deserve it all:-)

Spousal Satisfaction High

2009-06-18T11:55:00.004-05:00

The fun days of summer have been in full swing at our household for several weeks now. My husband, a teacher, is home for the summer, too, and I've been keeping him busy. When we're not visiting family out of state during these hot months, there isn't much else to do in Hotter Than Hades Houston other than tackle house projects inside where the air conditioning keeps us all from hating this place too much. House projects are all good as far as I'm concerned. They keep my husband busy and productive, and we are both happy and highly satisfied with the outcomes. So far, my husband has tackled some pretty big tasks. He's fixed our sprinkler system, installed a ceiling fan, and completely redone our guest bedroom. This last job was quite the project. We painted it two-tone, installed chair railing, and moved all sorts of furniture around in order to hand the room over to our four year old son, who has outgrown his smaller bedroom and has been ready for a big-boy bedroom for a while now. We also bought him a huge bookshelf from IKEA, as he's accumulated quite a numer of books which were in piles all around his room before this point. Here's the finished project (well, almost - my hubby still has to fix some of the chair railing, but, generally speaking, this project is done):

Not bad, huh?

Nostalgia

2009-06-15T00:00:00.001-05:00

ER had it's final season this year. Now, for most of you, this was the closing of a TV program but for me, it was the end of an era. To me, it signified the end of my 20's. My husband laughs at that statement. "Your 20's should be over....you are almost 40". Shut up:-)

For those of you who don't know, Diane (another author on this blog) and I were roommates for those formative years in our 20's. You know, the years between college and marriage where you are trying to find yourself, find a career, find your husband or just find the next party. It was the mid-90's and on Thursday nights, we got together for "Must See TV". It was a chunk of TV that we could really relate to because in many ways, we were "Friends" in real life. Anchoring our Thursday programs was ER. Now, many of the shows have come and gone (including "Friends" which was another one that was hard for me to swallow) but the last hanger onner was ER.

So, when it became clear that the last piece of my 20's was calling it quits, I decided to not let it go uncermoniously. I chose to not watch any of the season as it happened. It was going to end on my terms. For my birthday, my gift to me was the whole season that was waiting patiently for me on my DVR. I made it through half of the season.

The rest remains on my DVR waiting and waiting for me. Maybe, if I don't ever watch the whole thing, a piece of me will always be 20 years old. Do you think it will work?

What about you? Do you have something like this that clearly marked a sign of passage in your life? I would love to hear about it.

Allergies strike again...

2009-06-14T12:35:00.011-05:00

There are a few things in my life recently that have made me take a hard look at my physical health and start to make some changes.

First and foremost, I'm about to leave for Germany for a family reunion of sorts on my dad's side of the family. My aunt, his sister, turns 80 soon, and we all decided to take the trip to celebrate with her. My dad, who was born and lived in Germany until he was 26, hasn't been back to the Fatherland since he visited me when I studied there in 1990 - that's 19 years. So, my parents and my family are all traveling there together which I am very much looking forward to. In any case, my relatives there are your typically stylish Europeans, and at 38, I decided it was time to get into shape and start my quest to be age-appropriately cute so I don't look like a completely frumpy schmuck overseas.

Second, as I approach 40, there are some aspects of the way my body looks and feels that I can simply no longer tolerate. For example, I no longer wish to be slightly overweight and definitely out of shape. The muscles of my youth are almost nonexistent, and I wouldn't mind seeing a trace of them again. It's funny...I sing a lot in front of my son, because he enjoys it, and recently I taught him, "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean." Since then, my son sings it on his own, but at 4, can't quite remember the words. I cracked up hysterically when I heard his version of the chorus, which I have since adopted as my exercise mantra:

Give back! Give back! Give back my body to me, to me!
Give back! Give back! Oh, give back my body to me!

Probably the most troubling aspect of my physical appearance is that I still have a pizza face, still struggle with acne after all of these years. I decided that I'd research and find a solution to this problem first, since, well, this is the issue about my health that, frankly, really pisses me off the most when I think about it.

After doing some online research, I discovered that adult acne can be caused by food allergies. This struck a nerve with me, because my son has food allergies. I've always blamed my husband's side of the family for his problems, because my husband's father and sister both struggle with plant and food allergies. On a whim, I decided to get myself tested at my son's allergy doctor.

Well, as it turns out, I am the source of most of my son's allergy problems! The results of my tests showed that I am allergic to a host of tree, grass, and weed pollens, dust mites, and also quite a few foods, including soy, chocolate (KILL ME NOW!), shellfish, peanuts, and tomatoes (OK, I am 25% Italian and LOVE tomatoes - I CAN NOT DEAL WITH THIS ONE). These initial results also indicate that I am probably allergic to other foods as well. Next week, I'll have my last round of food allergy testing done.

For the last few weeks, I've done my best to avoid the foods I'm allergic to, and I've noticed my skin has improved some, but, even more dramatically, my energy level has increased a lot. Furthermore, since my early 20s, I've had occasional neck and back pain and also joint pain. These problems have also improved lately. My allergy doctor says those are all common complaints from food allergy sufferers. Imagine that, I always thought my problems were due to getting a little bit older and not staying in good physical shape, but the culprit was mostly FOOD. Unbelievable.

As far as my acne goes, I paid (yet another) visit to my dermatologist and essentially told him, that's it, I've had it with acne, I want it gone. So - and, pardon my French, I don't know why the HELL he didn't do this earlier - he did some really gross test (don't read this part if you're eating right now as I just may induce your gag reflex!) in which he poked a bunch of my zits, squeezed some puss out of them, and sent the goo off to a lab to be tested. Apparently, if one suffers from acne for a long period of time, it can become resistant to the medication/topical treatment one is using. Sure enough, my acne turned out to be resistant to the prescription foam wash I had been using. So, now I am using a new topical lotion and it is working much better. I am happy to say, there has been a definite improvement in my skin and I've only been using the lotion for about 2 or 3 weeks.

All of this has taught me an important lesson. It's so important to be proactive about one's health. I always thought I was, but apparently not enough. In the past, I'd always hated running off to the doctor for something unless I was really suffering. Clearly, this is the wrong approach. I've been quite amazed at how I've been able to make some wonderful improvements in the quality of my life and health. And I'm proud of myself for taking the initial steps that have generated those results.

Is it Just Me? (Installment #2)

2009-06-11T09:34:00.001-05:00

It has been awhile since I have been at home alone on a week day. Over past year or so my company has been on a campaign to improve its image and keep its employees longer, so as of last week, I have a new schedule. I work 9 hr days (as I would normally anyway) and every two weeks I get a day off. Hooray for flexible hours- there is hope for me not turning into my workaholic parents yet.

Did you ever have a day off that you knew was coming so you kept putting things off thinking you would do it then and all of the sudden you have a too do list that is a mile long? Of course, it could only end in disappointment since there is no way everything will be accomplished so I sit here trying to determine what is the most important or most doable. Writing a quick blog was among the top favorites. I don’t know that it is any more important than calling my insurance company to see why they did not cover my last doctor’s appointment, but, somehow it ended up being one of the first things I did after taking a shower and making the coffee this morning. Shortly, I will be leaving to go work out with my trainer and a friend. After that we are off to lunch. These are the things I have been looking forward to. This afternoon, however, I have a date with Jiffy Lube to rotate my car tires and change the oil, do the dishes, do some laundry and perhaps clean the area around my crowded desk. If I was a mother, I am sure not even half of my personal things would get done and the time would be filled with other things.

Why is it the majority of the time that I have a day off from work, it is not truly a day off? It is a day to get things done. To my husband, a day off means rest and relaxation. It is not his fault; I don’t know how to do it any other way. It is how I have been conditioned. Is it just me or is it most women? How do we become unconditioned?

In the Merry, Merry Month of May

2009-06-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

May is my favorite month. Mostly because of my birthday and the lilacs (which are my favorite) but also because I love the promise that May brings. The promise of summer.

In May, both my girls came home for the whole summer! We brought one home from college and one graduated from preschool. My husband was even on vacation! I just feel so complete with the whole family together. All the pieces of my heart are in one place at one time and I am on Cloud 9!!

I am savoring every minute because, they won't be here forever. Hubby goes back to work today. One daughter is getting ready for Spain and one is getting ready for kindergarten. No matter what they are doing in the fall, I just love that they are both here now. We have a new play set and the pool up and next week, we are going to put the badminton net up. This is going to be the best summer ever!!

So, thank you May for wheeling in the Summer of Susie:-)

Making a move to help

2009-06-06T18:14:00.007-05:00

Well, I read it. For those of you who read my last post, "How can I do more?", you know I was planning on reading Peter Singer's book, The Life You Can Save: Acting Now to End World Poverty. I figured the sooner the better, so I checked it out from the library and just finished it today.

I must say, this is one of the most compelling books I have ever read, one that will prove to be life-altering, I'm sure. Singer presents shocking, factual evidence about the 1.4 billion people who live in extreme poverty around the world and how little we citizens of this planet are doing about it. Before reading this book, I was not knowledgeable about so much information about world poverty that Singer presents. Plus, as a long-time professor of ethics, Singer makes an ethical argument based on sound logic which one simply can't refute for making financial donations to aid organizations which fight poverty, stating that if you are not currently doing so, you are doing something morally wrong. Singer's intent is not for us to feel guilty, but is rather a compassionate and urgent call to action to help the thousands of people who die unnecessarily around the world every day due to the culprits of poverty: a lack of clean water, not enough food, and easily preventable illnesses and diseases.

Singer presents his reader with many helpful hints concerning which aid organizations are reliable and effectively help the world's extreme poor. My husband and I intend on giving an annual donation based on Singer's recommendations.

If you strive to live an ethical, moral life, it is absolutely imperative to read this book. So, how about a pledge? Who will pledge to read Peter Singer's, A Life You Can Save: Acting Now To End World Poverty? (If you don't want to buy it, get it from your local library.) Leave a comment if you'll make the pledge to read this incredible book!

Customized Pyramid, Menu Planner, Activity Tracker and more

2009-06-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

I thought I would follow up my last blog with a link to some pretty neat resources that are available for free on the U.S. Department of Agriculture's web site at http://www.mypyramid.gov that I think nearly every woman and mother would want to take a look at. You may have visited this web site years ago and just found a little information and a graphic on the food pyramid- now, you can get a customized pyramid and menu plan for your age, height, weight and activity level, assess your activity level, listen to pod casts on diet and nutrition and more. There is even a kid's pyramid plan and a cute game to teach them all about the foods (fuel) and activity (energy) they need. I don't think that most people know all of this information and tools exist and it is all free. I spent nearly an hour just looking at it all and I still didn't cover everything. If you have some time it is definitely worth checking out.

Fatbet.net

2009-05-27T21:16:00.005-05:00

A coworker of mine recently turned me on to a web site that has an interesting approach to food tracking, support networks, competition, and goal setting for weight loss. It is called Fatbet.net. The idea is that you and a friends or family make a bet with each other to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date. You goal weight can be up to you. The difference is your group sets a wager for the end of the challenge. You can also challenge each other to mini bets along the way such as exercising three times during the week, eating 3-5 vegetables a day, drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day, etc ( BTW, Dr. Oz says that the theory of drinking water to lose weight is a myth, unless it is simply to make you fuller.)

Everyone in the group must weigh in on a regular basis. The rules state every day, but, my coworker’s group does it only once a week on a specific day on the honor system. (You need to trust the people in your group). The web site provides tools for tracking your progress including graph charts and a message board. Your group can choose to make your activities public or private.

According to the creators and Spark People, a health and fitness motivational site, research shows that people who are willing to make their weight loss efforts public, pay attention, and enjoy themselves in the process are more successful at losing weight and keeping it off. You can read the specifics on the Fatbet.net research page. I thought this sounded like a fresh idea for losing weight. Now, I just have to find the right friends to join me in my ongoing quest. Best of luck to those who are brave or free spirited enough to give it a try.

How can I do more?

2009-05-26T09:44:00.008-05:00

For a long time now, I have had this nagging feeling, something that is pulling at me to do more. This isn't about fulfilling any particular goals for myself but rather to do something to help others. It's a need that I've felt on almost a daily basis for years now, but sadly, I've never really acted on those feelings and done anything significant to help other people.

In truth, my husband and I are pretty darn lame when it comes to charitable works for our fellow man. This is something I feel very guilty about. I'm Catholic, but it's not a Catholic guilt kind of thing. I guess I simply feel that I've been very fortunate for my entire life, and I firmly believe that those who are more fortunate should help those who aren't. I know that the world is teeming with people who face life struggles every day. For me, it's been easy street. I was born to loving parents whose feet were firmly planted in the American middle class, a place of stability and prosperity; my brother and I never wanted for much during our youth. We were offered wonderful opportunities for education. I attended a private high school and small private college, was even able to study abroad for a year in Germany. Later on, after I became a high school teacher, I attended a grad school program that took place during my summer vacations over a period of several years in Austria.

Now don't get me wrong. By no means am I attempting to brag by sharing all of that with you. I'm simply illustrating that, in many ways, I feel I have lived a charmed life in comparison to the challenges people around the globe face, often times for basic needs such as food and clean water. This bothers me. But I've never been brave enough, or simply just expended the energy, to take the steps necessary to do something about it.

A couple of months ago, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows: Bill Maher's Real Time. One of Maher's guests was Peter Singer, author of the new book, The Life You Can Save. I must confess that I haven't read this book yet, but I find it intriguing and plan to do so. I thought I'd share what I know about it with you. Singer is a long time writer and researcher about world poverty. In the early 70s, he wrote an essay about the topic and this book is a response to the critics of that essay. Singer calls us to action to bring about an end to world poverty and essentially makes the cause a moral issue. He cites the following example: If you were walking by a river and saw a child drowning in it, and all you had to do was jump in and grab the child to save her, you'd do it. If you would see a child in distress like that, your gut reaction would be to do what you could to rescue that child. Doing anything less, simply standing by and watching the child die, would be morally reprehensible. Singer compares this situation to world poverty. If you would see a child dying from starvation, wouldn't you do whatever you could to save that child? The fact of the matter is, we don't. We all know for a fact that people around the world are dying from hunger and preventable diseases due to poverty every day, yet many of us, including myself, do nothing about it, even though we are financially stable and spend money on things that are really fully unnecessary. Singer says that this is morally wrong. For those of us who live in affluent societies, it is easy to simply look the other way, to go on living our daily lives and take care of our own. He states that we do help others when trouble is at our doorstep. For example, Singer cites that after Hurricane Katrina, when we all saw the horrifying pictures of the residents of New Orleans suffering so terribly, many of us donated to relief organizations for that disaster. (My husband and I, in fact, donated to the Red Cross.) However, when it is a world away and so far removed from our own daily lives, we are not so quick to give. Singer goes on to suggest how much to give without greatly sacrificing one's own financial well being.

Peter Singer's book is truly a calling, a challenge. I, for one, intend to read the book and hope to live up to his challenge. Perhaps you would like to do the same. Visit his website at www.thelifeyoucansave.com for more information.

Why Do Moms Cry?

2009-05-25T00:00:00.002-05:00

I am not a crier. I don't well up at sappy movies. I don't tear up at emotional stories. However, when my older daughter graduated from high school, I cried. When my younger daughter graduated from preschool, I cried. What is it about our kids that make even the most stoic among us to become puddles on the floor?

Well, I can't speak for the millions of mothers out there but, I think I have it identified for me. When I see any of my kids reach a milestone or participate in some huge event, all of the work that it took to get them there comes rushing back. It's such a relief to have reached the goal that the pressure releases like air coming out of a fully blown balloon. And that makes me cry.

So what about you? Are you a crier? Do your kids achievements make you cry? If so, why? Inquiring minds want to know:-)

Tune in Next Week

2009-05-21T13:48:00.004-05:00

I apologize, but, I did not get to write my blog for the week. I considered writing one on my day off tomorrow, but, let's face it...How many of you, our readers out there are going to be tuned into read what I have to say the day before a long holiday weekend? I also was having a hard time coming up with something last minute and I don't want to devalue your time, by having you read something that you may not find worth your while. So what I am trying to tell you is, tune in next week for something new from my realm. I appreciate your patience and have a great memorial day weekend.

A Nut Job's In The Dressing Room

2009-05-20T19:42:00.002-05:00

I've been feeling a little down on my luck lately. In the last month, my husband and I have had to replace our computer and dishwasher, and yesterday, we woke up to no hot water. I had been watching the dollars disappear from our savings account and was totally annoyed that we'd have yet another expense to fix or replace a potentially defunct hot water heater. Well, let me tell ya', that was nothing compared to the horror I experienced later that day.

After having successfully avoided this task for the last five years, I bit the bullet and went shopping for a new swimming suit. I'm so overdue for one. I've been wearing the same suit I bought when I was three months pregnant five years ago. Yes, that's right. The logical conclusion that you can reach from that is that, right now, I weigh approximately what I did when I was three months pregnant. I am very annoyed with this fact but apparently not annoyed enough to do something about it and lose the weight. So, anyhoo, the swimsuit I've had for the last five years is now finally a bit too big. Actually, I'm not even sure that is totally accurate. It may just be that it's so old and worn that the fabric just isn't as taut as it used to be. In any case, it just doesn't fit well anymore and it's worn out enough that it's embarrassing going to the pool with it on. (We live in Texas where it's already in the 90s - ergo this talk of swimming.)

So, off to the store I went. I picked out a few suits that I thought I might look decent in and went into the dressing room. I got naked, took one look in the mirror, and...OH, THE HORROR! I couldn't believe what I was looking at - it was me, but fat and really very unsightly. But, I thought perhaps there was still hope. Maybe, just maybe, a brightly colored swimsuit would cover up some of the folds of flesh. Ok, NO. Not at all.

In fact, I looked so awful that I actually found myself laughing at my image in the mirror...cracking up, really,...and making all sorts of loud exclamations of disbelief at what I was seeing: "Good Lord, I am SOOOO FAT!!" "How did this happen?? I AM A COW!!" "Where are my muscles? Have they gone on vacation or something?? They are gone!" "WHEN did this happen? When did I morph into....THIS??" And all the while I was laughing hysterically.

Suddenly, I heard two store clerks laughing, and I heard one say softly to the other: "Dude, there's a nut job in that dressing room."

I guess I can take solace in someting. I may be fat, but my hearing is still top notch.