- I thought that I would become a mom in 2008. Turns out, my husband and I are continuing to wait.
- I also thought that we would purchase a home in 2008, but, because of a technicality with my husband’s job and a housing market that had not yet experienced its downturn, we are continuing to rent for another year. (Progress: At least, we moved and the landlords aren’t a major company that does not respond to us because we are just one of a hundred under their roofs.)
- Here is one that I can check off- I finished my Masters in Education. After three years of taking classes one or two at a time, I am done with spending hours in front of the computer researching and writing papers.
- Lose weight. I know, I know…This nearly one is on everyone’s list. And I nearly made it through the year not having made any progress, but, I am happy to say that I have lost some weight and am continuing to move forward.
In December, my husband and I started working on a common goal- to get healthy and lose that comfortable, married weight we’d gained over the past 2 ½ years living in the suburbs. We started working with a personal trainer at a health club and drastically altered our diet. Both of us can already see the difference. Not only are we strengthening our bodies, but, we are strengthening our relationship. And we quickly learned this was even more valuable than the goal we had set out to accomplish in the first place.
Prior to starting our plan, we were struggling a bit with our new surroundings, our communication and our motivation. Ben had confessed to me he would rather wait to have children. With this and the prospect of owning a house out of my reach, I felt uncertain where to put my energy next. My job is an easy one, but, I know I needed something more. Then, Ben threw me for a loop. He said that he would rather not have kids if it meant that I would be even more out of shape and unable to enjoy our lives together. This hurt. After all, it is not like I was seriously overweight, but, I was approaching more than 40 pounds what someone my height should be. The truth is, I wasn’t happy with myself either and it was beginning to show.
After a month or so of feeling miserable and procrastinating, we began our journey and agreed that it was something we both should do for ourselves.
So, here we are prior to starting the plan.(Not the most attractive photo, but, it is the most recent one I have that shows the majority of my body and the state I was in.)And here I am approximately 30 days later with some of the contributing members of our blog. From left to right: Brenda, Kari, Therese, and Susie.I haven’t lost a great deal of weight, but, I know I have gained muscle and lost inches. I am done with the excuses… something I have become very good at over the years. There are always a billion things I can be doing besides working out and cooking better food. It is something I wanted to do before having kids, but, I have never had anyone challenge me to really follow through with it.
Ben has been helping by cooking our breakfast in the mornings and preparing dinner before picking me up from the train in the evenings, shopping for food, and encouraging me with compliments. It has been good for us because we are learning how to communicate better and stay strong together – some tools I am sure we are going to need if we are lucky enough to become parents some day. Other tools I recommend include the free information available on the Today show web site for Joy's Fit Club and About.com's article on losing belly fat. These exercises are very similar to the ones I am doing with my personal trainer that took inches off my waist fast.
I am also finding that I need to follow through with a few other things like volunteering, journaling and photography I gave up with the excuse of working on my masters. In 2009, I will be taking on those things as well. I know what you are thinking… it is just the New Year’s resolution mumbo-jumbo talking, but, this is serious stuff. I need to get my act together if I am going to be successful at paying attention to my children, my work, my husband and myself. Learning to take care of ourselves is probably the hardest lessons we women need to work on continuously. Not for our husbands, not for our children (future children), but, for us. After all, we only have one life and one body.
I am also testing my faith. I am leaving it in God’s hands that I will be lucky enough to still have kids on our own even though I am in my late 30s. It is a gift for myself, because, in the end, I know I will be proud enough to share more of who I am with others and be more confident about moving forward. I will continue to post photos occasionally in the coming months. Of course, I will blog about other things, but, I thought this would be a good thing to start with and sharing it with you would also strengthen my commitment in the coming months.